hard jeans

When you see a beautiful woman and your dick gets hard, your jeans or pants also get hard around the groin area. It's another way of saying you just experienced a boner. A hard feeling in the jeans is a sure sign that you just saw something that you liked. This is caused by peeping on some big tits or catching a glimpse of a great ass. If the jeans are too tight, the boner may cause significant pain. The most comfortable way to wear a boner is either completely nude, totally naked, or with just a pair of lightweight baggy shorts on.

Steve: "Oh fuck, look at that fucking big-tittied blonde!"
Gary: "Shit man, she is one fine broad."
Steve: "Oh fuck, I just got hard jeans. I am envisioning slamming her right now."
Gary: "Her buttcheeks would be red when I was done with her."
Steve: "You want to meet up again tomorrow night and talk about fucking chicks?"
Gary: "Yes"

Hard Jeans can also be hard pants, hard shorts, etc.

by John Planet December 30, 2009

bushpussy

A bushpussy is a vagina with a ton of hair on, in, or around it. Panties or underwear can't contain the bushpussy. It overflows the boundaries of human undergarments and it is very, very disgusting. The bushpussy ranges in size from a small round puff to the size of a large dinner plate or a Pizza Hut medium meat lover's pizza. The bushpussy made it's debut somewhere around the beginning of time and resurfaced in Philadelphia in 1989. It is now very popular with the elderly community and also with a handful of young women that have no fucking idea that a giant bush is not a good thing. It takes 6 hours to trim the average 80 year old woman's bushpussy and that is if you use a weed whacker. The bushpussy is not only unattractive to the eyes, it usually smells like a dead fish with a pile of shit on it.

Rod: "Dude have you gotten on Vanessa yet?"
Paul: "Naw, dude, I was getting ready to blast that ass, but when I took her panties off and saw her bushpussy I puked on my cock and then passed out."

by John Planet September 07, 2007

wet daydream

The wet daydream occurs during the day when you are thinking about laying the bone to some hottie and you get a rock hard boner, and after it (the boner) goes down, you have a few drops of splooge in your underbriefs. Some guys may have a full load in their pants, depending on how hot of a situation they were daydreaming about.

Member of the media: "Mr. Jobs, what product will you be unveiling today?"

Steve Jobs: "This is the new Ipod, it can play music, movies, make coffee, and print U.S. currency. It is really great"

Another member of the media: "What price can consumers expect to pay for this amazing device?"

Steve Jobs: "I will answer that as soon as I get back from the restroom, I just had a major wet daydream."

by John Planet January 06, 2008

Dumphump

A dumphump occurs when you bang a chick while you're taking a dump. Shitting, wiping your ass, and then banging while sitting on the toilet is not considered a dumphump. You have to be in the process of shitting while banging for it to be considered a true dumphump. If you can time it out so that you blow a load as a huge turd is coming out, that feels great. A dumphump does not have to be performed on/over the toilet. You could fuck your girlfriend from behind and shit on your bedroom floor while doing it, and that would be considered a dumphump also. Basically, if you're shitting anywhere, while banging a chick, that is a dumphump. It's a little known fact that 32% of women have more intense orgasms when they are breathing in the smell of shit. If you haven't tried the dumphump yet, try it soon.

Todd: "Did you nail Rebecca yet you dirtbag?"
Ron: "I did more than bang her little guy, I dumphumped her at that frat party."

by John Planet October 08, 2008

fribble

A fribble is a dickfart. It occurs when bodily gas is expelled through a cock. It makes a noise much like the anus fart. Richard Nixon once fribbled while buttfucking his college roommate.

peasant woman: "Mother Theresa, may I have a piece of bread?"
Mother Theresa: "Yes woman, you may."

(Fart noise)

Mother Theresa: "Okay, who just fribbled? Which one of you goobers just fribbled? No more food until somebody owns up to this bullshit."

by John Planet September 30, 2007

fat top

A hairstyle, much like the flat top, made popular by ND head coach Charlie Weis. The fat top is a flat top worn by a really disgusting, fat, sweaty, mess of a guy. There is nothing worse than a fat guy with a flat top. Bryant Reeves, a shitty basketball player in the late 90's, known as "the big country," had the greatest fat top in NBA history, narrowly defeating Greg "the fag" Ostertag in his Utah Jazz heyday. Walter Sobchak, John Goodman's character in the movie "The Big Lebowski," was recently awarded the greatest fat top in cinema history by the American Film Institute. 72% of men with fat-tops cannot see their dick without using multiple well-placed mirrors.

ND cafeteria worker: "Hey coach, how are you?"
Coach Weis: "I'm great, I'll have my usual."
ND cafeteria worker: "the punch bowl of beef gravy with 2 pounds of bacon and a bag of cheese on top?"
Coach Weis: "yeah, and a diet coke."
ND cafeteria worker: "Good luck this weekend coach, oh, and nice fat top."
Coach Weis: (muffled, pouring bowl into face while still in line) "thank you"

by John Planet December 09, 2008

Keith Urban Sprawl

When a bunch of fun boys start moving out of big cities and into the suburbs. A large amount of them have the look of Keith Urban. They have some kind of fancy haircut and they're always overdressed. They like riding bikes, gardening and riding each other. If they aren't gay, they're into tall pasty white Irish women with red hair and no tits.

Rick: "I saw two men buttfucking near the community church the other day. I ain't ever seen anything like that in this small town."
Stevie: "I know man, it's that God damn Keith Urban Sprawl."

by John Planet August 21, 2007