12 definitions by John Planet

A hairstyle, much like the flat top, made popular by ND head coach Charlie Weis. The fat top is a flat top worn by a really disgusting, fat, sweaty, mess of a guy. There is nothing worse than a fat guy with a flat top. Bryant Reeves, a shitty basketball player in the late 90's, known as "the big country," had the greatest fat top in NBA history, narrowly defeating Greg "the fag" Ostertag in his Utah Jazz heyday. Walter Sobchak, John Goodman's character in the movie "The Big Lebowski," was recently awarded the greatest fat top in cinema history by the American Film Institute. 72% of men with fat-tops cannot see their dick without using multiple well-placed mirrors.
ND cafeteria worker: "Hey coach, how are you?"
Coach Weis: "I'm great, I'll have my usual."
ND cafeteria worker: "the punch bowl of beef gravy with 2 pounds of bacon and a bag of cheese on top?"
Coach Weis: "yeah, and a diet coke."
ND cafeteria worker: "Good luck this weekend coach, oh, and nice fat top."
Coach Weis: (muffled, pouring bowl into face while still in line) "thank you"
by John Planet October 18, 2008
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A dumphump occurs when you bang a chick while you're taking a dump. Shitting, wiping your ass, and then banging while sitting on the toilet is not considered a dumphump. You have to be in the process of shitting while banging for it to be considered a true dumphump. If you can time it out so that you blow a load as a huge turd is coming out, that feels great. A dumphump does not have to be performed on/over the toilet. You could fuck your girlfriend from behind and shit on your bedroom floor while doing it, and that would be considered a dumphump also. Basically, if you're shitting anywhere, while banging a chick, that is a dumphump. It's a little known fact that 32% of women have more intense orgasms when they are breathing in the smell of shit. If you haven't tried the dumphump yet, try it soon.
Todd: "Did you nail Rebecca yet you dirtbag?"
Ron: "I did more than bang her little guy, I dumphumped her at that frat party."
by John Planet August 12, 2008
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When you see a beautiful woman and your dick gets hard, your jeans or pants also get hard around the groin area. It's another way of saying you just experienced a boner. A hard feeling in the jeans is a sure sign that you just saw something that you liked. This is caused by peeping on some big tits or catching a glimpse of a great ass. If the jeans are too tight, the boner may cause significant pain. The most comfortable way to wear a boner is either completely nude, totally naked, or with just a pair of lightweight baggy shorts on.
Steve: "Oh fuck, look at that fucking big-tittied blonde!"
Gary: "Shit man, she is one fine broad."
Steve: "Oh fuck, I just got hard jeans. I am envisioning slamming her right now."
Gary: "Her buttcheeks would be red when I was done with her."
Steve: "You want to meet up again tomorrow night and talk about fucking chicks?"
Gary: "Yes"

Hard Jeans can also be hard pants, hard shorts, etc.
by John Planet December 30, 2010
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A fribble is a dickfart. It occurs when bodily gas is expelled through a cock. It makes a noise much like the anus fart. Richard Nixon once fribbled while buttfucking his college roommate.
peasant woman: "Mother Theresa, may I have a piece of bread?"
Mother Theresa: "Yes woman, you may."

(Fart noise)

Mother Theresa: "Okay, who just fribbled? Which one of you goobers just fribbled? No more food until somebody owns up to this bullshit."
by John Planet September 15, 2007
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When a bunch of fun boys start moving out of big cities and into the suburbs. A large amount of them have the look of Keith Urban. They have some kind of fancy haircut and they're always overdressed. They like riding bikes, gardening and riding each other. If they aren't gay, they're into tall pasty white Irish women with red hair and no tits.
Rick: "I saw two men buttfucking near the community church the other day. I ain't ever seen anything like that in this small town."
Stevie: "I know man, it's that God damn Keith Urban Sprawl."
by John Planet August 17, 2007
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The same thing as a dicksucker. Somebody who sucks on a dick. This word originated in 2001 on the campus of The University of Dayton in Ohio. An international student went off upon seeing that his chicken pot pie had been eaten, and he attacked the guilty party with a barrage of curse words. He managed to say just about every insult in the English language, and he even invented a new one: suckdicker. This word is much funnier if you can get an international student to say it in a fit of rage.
Mickey: "Who eat pot pie was mine!"
Scotty: "I ate it man I was hungry."
Mickey: "Scott, you faggot, mother of a fucker, bitch, asshole, shit, pussy, damnit Scott."
Scotty: "Fuck off loser."
Mickey: "You are a fuck, faggot fucker, son of bitch, suckdicker!"
Scotty:(walking out the door) "blow me asshole."
by John Planet August 20, 2008
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A man that has really small genitals and always seeks out a stall to piss in in a public restroom, rather than run the risk of going to the urinal and having someone see his small penis, thus ruining his reputation and life. A stallpisser's greatest fear is the trough-like urinal where like 10 dudes line-up and take a piss in plain view of the other dudes. If a bar's restroom is set-up especially bad, the stallpisser may even resort to leaving the premises and pissing in a back alley or another store. Alexander the Great, Grover Cleveland, Danny Glover and Gandhi are four of the most famous stallpissers in world history. The stallpisser's biggest enemy is the close-pisser; a guy who pulls up to piss right next to you when there are 4 or 5 other urinals open.
Rick: "I gotta piss fucking bad man."
Roger: "There's the bathroom, go piss."
Rick: "There's a guy snorting coke in the stall and I can't fucking piss at the urinal man."
Roger: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Rick: "I'm a stallpisser. I only piss in the stall."
by John Planet November 20, 2007
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