12 definitions by John Planet
A very short, often ugly man, that for some reason can pull some serious ass. It could be because the guy has legitimate game or he has a big sausage or a combination of both. Every college campus has at least one pimpsqueak. Usher, Jeremy Piven, Prince, Joe Rogan and Jermaine Dupri are all perfect examples of pimpsqueaks.
Ron: "Is that Mandy Harris kissing on that little ugly dude over there?"
Chuck: "How in the fuck? I'd kill to bounce that ass."
Ron: "Why in the fuck would that guy get her?"
Chuck: "What can you say, the guy must be a pimpsqueak."
Chuck: "How in the fuck? I'd kill to bounce that ass."
Ron: "Why in the fuck would that guy get her?"
Chuck: "What can you say, the guy must be a pimpsqueak."
by John Planet August 24, 2008
The inconsistent, unpredictable quality of the shitting experience at roadside gas stations and highway rest stops.
Every person will encounter a broad spectrum in their lifetime, from the sparkling clean place that smells good, to the dark, musty smelling place with a pair of shitty underwear on the floor, a few gay sex propositions scribbled on the wall and a paper towel dispenser that hasn't been refilled since the Reagan administration.
The outdoor appearance of the building doesn't always reflect what the restroom will look like. Even if a bathroom has a good reputation, that can all change with one truck driver in a matter of seconds. It's 100% unpredictable, it's shit-or-miss.
Every person will encounter a broad spectrum in their lifetime, from the sparkling clean place that smells good, to the dark, musty smelling place with a pair of shitty underwear on the floor, a few gay sex propositions scribbled on the wall and a paper towel dispenser that hasn't been refilled since the Reagan administration.
The outdoor appearance of the building doesn't always reflect what the restroom will look like. Even if a bathroom has a good reputation, that can all change with one truck driver in a matter of seconds. It's 100% unpredictable, it's shit-or-miss.
Rod: "Okay, take this next exit, I am about to shit my pants."
Richard: "Okay Rod sure thing."
Rod: "Hurry up Richard, my stomach is really bubblin'."
Richard: "Okay Rod, what'll it be, the Shell station, or the Texaco?"
Rod: "Which one looks the cleanest?"
Richard: "The Shell station does, but you never know Rod, situations like this are shit-or-miss."
Rod: "Just hurry up asshole."
Richard: "Okay Rod sure thing."
Rod: "Hurry up Richard, my stomach is really bubblin'."
Richard: "Okay Rod, what'll it be, the Shell station, or the Texaco?"
Rod: "Which one looks the cleanest?"
Richard: "The Shell station does, but you never know Rod, situations like this are shit-or-miss."
Rod: "Just hurry up asshole."
by John Planet July 22, 2009
A man that has really small genitals and always seeks out a stall to piss in in a public restroom, rather than run the risk of going to the urinal and having someone see his small penis, thus ruining his reputation and life. A stallpisser's greatest fear is the trough-like urinal where like 10 dudes line-up and take a piss in plain view of the other dudes. If a bar's restroom is set-up especially bad, the stallpisser may even resort to leaving the premises and pissing in a back alley or another store. Alexander the Great, Grover Cleveland, Danny Glover and Gandhi are four of the most famous stallpissers in world history. The stallpisser's biggest enemy is the close-pisser; a guy who pulls up to piss right next to you when there are 4 or 5 other urinals open.
Rick: "I gotta piss fucking bad man."
Roger: "There's the bathroom, go piss."
Rick: "There's a guy snorting coke in the stall and I can't fucking piss at the urinal man."
Roger: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Rick: "I'm a stallpisser. I only piss in the stall."
Roger: "There's the bathroom, go piss."
Rick: "There's a guy snorting coke in the stall and I can't fucking piss at the urinal man."
Roger: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Rick: "I'm a stallpisser. I only piss in the stall."
by John Planet November 20, 2007
Gigantic tits that hang down near the waistline of a woman. Also known as "longies," or "saggies," these jugs are most commonly found on older women. Waistline wonders are known to cause backpain for the woman and neck pain for guys that jerk their heads to gawk at them while saying something to themselves like "jesus, those tits are fucking huge." Dog "The Bounty Hunter" Chapman's wife has a big American set of waistline wonders.
Waitress: "Hey guys, what can I get you."
Tony:"A pitcher of cold beer and a large pizza."
Waitress: "Okay, I'll be right back." (walking away)
Donnie: (to Tony) "Hot damn brother, did you see them titties."
Tony: "I always notice big titties my friend."
Donnie: "Them were some waistline wonders."
Tony: "haha, fuckin A yes they were, let's get drunk."
Tony:"A pitcher of cold beer and a large pizza."
Waitress: "Okay, I'll be right back." (walking away)
Donnie: (to Tony) "Hot damn brother, did you see them titties."
Tony: "I always notice big titties my friend."
Donnie: "Them were some waistline wonders."
Tony: "haha, fuckin A yes they were, let's get drunk."
by John Planet June 1, 2009
A bushpussy is a vagina with a ton of hair on, in, or around it. Panties or underwear can't contain the bushpussy. It overflows the boundaries of human undergarments and it is very, very disgusting. The bushpussy ranges in size from a small round puff to the size of a large dinner plate or a Pizza Hut medium meat lover's pizza. The bushpussy made it's debut somewhere around the beginning of time and resurfaced in Philadelphia in 1989. It is now very popular with the elderly community and also with a handful of young women that have no fucking idea that a giant bush is not a good thing. It takes 6 hours to trim the average 80 year old woman's bushpussy and that is if you use a weed whacker. The bushpussy is not only unattractive to the eyes, it usually smells like a dead fish with a pile of shit on it.
Rod: "Dude have you gotten on Vanessa yet?"
Paul: "Naw, dude, I was getting ready to blast that ass, but when I took her panties off and saw her bushpussy I puked on my cock and then passed out."
Paul: "Naw, dude, I was getting ready to blast that ass, but when I took her panties off and saw her bushpussy I puked on my cock and then passed out."
by John Planet August 30, 2007
A hairstyle, much like the flat top, made popular by ND head coach Charlie Weis. The fat top is a flat top worn by a really disgusting, fat, sweaty, mess of a guy. There is nothing worse than a fat guy with a flat top. Bryant Reeves, a shitty basketball player in the late 90's, known as "the big country," had the greatest fat top in NBA history, narrowly defeating Greg "the fag" Ostertag in his Utah Jazz heyday. Walter Sobchak, John Goodman's character in the movie "The Big Lebowski," was recently awarded the greatest fat top in cinema history by the American Film Institute. 72% of men with fat-tops cannot see their dick without using multiple well-placed mirrors.
ND cafeteria worker: "Hey coach, how are you?"
Coach Weis: "I'm great, I'll have my usual."
ND cafeteria worker: "the punch bowl of beef gravy with 2 pounds of bacon and a bag of cheese on top?"
Coach Weis: "yeah, and a diet coke."
ND cafeteria worker: "Good luck this weekend coach, oh, and nice fat top."
Coach Weis: (muffled, pouring bowl into face while still in line) "thank you"
Coach Weis: "I'm great, I'll have my usual."
ND cafeteria worker: "the punch bowl of beef gravy with 2 pounds of bacon and a bag of cheese on top?"
Coach Weis: "yeah, and a diet coke."
ND cafeteria worker: "Good luck this weekend coach, oh, and nice fat top."
Coach Weis: (muffled, pouring bowl into face while still in line) "thank you"
by John Planet October 18, 2008
The same thing as a dicksucker. Somebody who sucks on a dick. This word originated in 2001 on the campus of The University of Dayton in Ohio. An international student went off upon seeing that his chicken pot pie had been eaten, and he attacked the guilty party with a barrage of curse words. He managed to say just about every insult in the English language, and he even invented a new one: suckdicker. This word is much funnier if you can get an international student to say it in a fit of rage.
Mickey: "Who eat pot pie was mine!"
Scotty: "I ate it man I was hungry."
Mickey: "Scott, you faggot, mother of a fucker, bitch, asshole, shit, pussy, damnit Scott."
Scotty: "Fuck off loser."
Mickey: "You are a fuck, faggot fucker, son of bitch, suckdicker!"
Scotty:(walking out the door) "blow me asshole."
Scotty: "I ate it man I was hungry."
Mickey: "Scott, you faggot, mother of a fucker, bitch, asshole, shit, pussy, damnit Scott."
Scotty: "Fuck off loser."
Mickey: "You are a fuck, faggot fucker, son of bitch, suckdicker!"
Scotty:(walking out the door) "blow me asshole."
by John Planet August 20, 2008