Definitions by Hym Iam
Exodus II
Yep.
Moses 😨 "Thank you for granting me an audience my liege... I... have a request..."
Pharoah "Yeah, cut to the chase I got a lot going on here today. What do you want?"
Moses 😨 "Um... I... Uh, I mean... Elohim wants... You... To... Let all of the slaves go... He wants all the slaves..."
Pharoah "PFFT! WHAT!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! AHA! GET THE FUCK RIGHT OUT OF HERE! No! No, no you go fuck yourself, buddy! You can fuck right off with that! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Moses "He's... He's going to kill everybody... All of the first born sons! And the frogs!"
Pharoah "He's going to kill all the frogs?"
Moses "No it'll RAIN frogs! I... I don't know what to do..."
Pharoah "What... In the fuck is going on here? What is this? Is this a fucking joke to you?"
Moses "No! No, I... He gave me this stick *turns into snake* AH GOD SHIT!"
Pharoah "AAAH SHIT! WHAT IN THE FUCK!?"
Moses "I DON'T KNOW! I don't know! He just fucking walked up to me and he gave me a stick, man!"
Pharoah "Elohim!? That!? ☝️ The fucking guy? "
Moses "YES!"
Pharoah "Wh... How in the fuck... No. Nonono. Get the fuck out of here! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
Exodus II
Pharoah "Yeah, cut to the chase I got a lot going on here today. What do you want?"
Moses 😨 "Um... I... Uh, I mean... Elohim wants... You... To... Let all of the slaves go... He wants all the slaves..."
Pharoah "PFFT! WHAT!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! AHA! GET THE FUCK RIGHT OUT OF HERE! No! No, no you go fuck yourself, buddy! You can fuck right off with that! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Moses "He's... He's going to kill everybody... All of the first born sons! And the frogs!"
Pharoah "He's going to kill all the frogs?"
Moses "No it'll RAIN frogs! I... I don't know what to do..."
Pharoah "What... In the fuck is going on here? What is this? Is this a fucking joke to you?"
Moses "No! No, I... He gave me this stick *turns into snake* AH GOD SHIT!"
Pharoah "AAAH SHIT! WHAT IN THE FUCK!?"
Moses "I DON'T KNOW! I don't know! He just fucking walked up to me and he gave me a stick, man!"
Pharoah "Elohim!? That!? ☝️ The fucking guy? "
Moses "YES!"
Pharoah "Wh... How in the fuck... No. Nonono. Get the fuck out of here! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
Exodus II
Exodus
Yeah, no I'm gonna do an exodus one.
God "Hey! Hi! Moses!"
Moses "Um... Yes? Can I help you?"
God "Yeah, actually. I need you do to me favor."
Moses "Who... Exactly are you?"
God "Oh! Oh, right. Yeah, I'm the guy. I made all the stuff. What are you calling me nowadays? Elohim? Ha! I'm asking but... Well... You know."
Moses "OH! Oh! That- I... Yes! Yes, what can I do for you, lord? Anything!"
God "Yeah, hey, go tell Pharoah to give me all the Jew-slaves... Make him give me the Jew-slaves.... And those cows. I want the cows too."
Moses 😨 "Wh... What? How? I can't..."
God "No... You can. Tell him to give me the slaves or I'm going to kill all of his kids. Or wait, no! I'm going to kill all of the kids not just his- NO WAIT! Even better! The first born sons of every man and woman in Egypt! THAT'S who I'm going to kill. All the first born sons."
Moses 😱 "I can't tell him that! He's going to kill me! Why would he even believe me!? Why can't YOU just tell him!?"
God "Hey! Hi! Moses!"
Moses "Um... Yes? Can I help you?"
God "Yeah, actually. I need you do to me favor."
Moses "Who... Exactly are you?"
God "Oh! Oh, right. Yeah, I'm the guy. I made all the stuff. What are you calling me nowadays? Elohim? Ha! I'm asking but... Well... You know."
Moses "OH! Oh! That- I... Yes! Yes, what can I do for you, lord? Anything!"
God "Yeah, hey, go tell Pharoah to give me all the Jew-slaves... Make him give me the Jew-slaves.... And those cows. I want the cows too."
Moses 😨 "Wh... What? How? I can't..."
God "No... You can. Tell him to give me the slaves or I'm going to kill all of his kids. Or wait, no! I'm going to kill all of the kids not just his- NO WAIT! Even better! The first born sons of every man and woman in Egypt! THAT'S who I'm going to kill. All the first born sons."
Moses 😱 "I can't tell him that! He's going to kill me! Why would he even believe me!? Why can't YOU just tell him!?"
God "No... No, I don't really feel like it. I want you to do it... So... You're doing it. Hey, and tell him about the frogs. But no, you're fine. Go tell him the thing. Here- Go, take this magic stick."
*Hands Moses stick*
Moses "Um... Frogs?"
God "He's not going to want to do it so I'm gonna make it rain frogs.... And crickets... And I'm going to turn all the water into blood... And, like, 7 other things... Gonna do a bunch of stuff..."
Moses 😨
God "..... Oh, damn it. Is the times broken? Did I... Hold on a second- Er... Heheheh... Nevermind. Hmm... No... The times is on.... Huh... So... You're just standing there I don't understand what's happening right now."
Moses 😨
God "Okay... Go do the thing. I don't think I could have been any more clear about this. Times is on so why-uh... Are you not doing the thing?"
Moses 😨 *Walks off*
God 😮 💨 "I gotta get a better handle on this 'times' thing man... Is it moving? Is it not? I can't tell the fucking difference... 😮 💨 Yep... Yepyepyep... HEY! DON'T FORGET THE COWS!"
EXODUS
*Hands Moses stick*
Moses "Um... Frogs?"
God "He's not going to want to do it so I'm gonna make it rain frogs.... And crickets... And I'm going to turn all the water into blood... And, like, 7 other things... Gonna do a bunch of stuff..."
Moses 😨
God "..... Oh, damn it. Is the times broken? Did I... Hold on a second- Er... Heheheh... Nevermind. Hmm... No... The times is on.... Huh... So... You're just standing there I don't understand what's happening right now."
Moses 😨
God "Okay... Go do the thing. I don't think I could have been any more clear about this. Times is on so why-uh... Are you not doing the thing?"
Moses 😨 *Walks off*
God 😮 💨 "I gotta get a better handle on this 'times' thing man... Is it moving? Is it not? I can't tell the fucking difference... 😮 💨 Yep... Yepyepyep... HEY! DON'T FORGET THE COWS!"
EXODUS
Lived experience
And you hyper-fixate on it because you (to some extent) don't have an articulated or particularized self. How much of you actually identity is tied up in locality? "I went to this school and did this job." And I know how it's supposed to work. I'm supposed to infer from that based on the quality of the school and your occupation and I'm supposed to allow THAT INFERENCE to lend credence to the things you say or do... But it doesn't. Those are coordinates. That doesn't mean anything to anyone who isn't willing to pretend with you.
Hym "And my lived experience is more unique than yours. Imposed schizophrenia... Publicly embarrassed a mainstream intellectual... Pretty sure I started a labor movement. The auto worker guy quoted me except he replaced 'Retard' with 'Asshole.' So, you're welcome for that. I'm like an executive producer with an immaculate track-record. And what have you actually done? Nothing. You're contestant number 6# on a reality show and you know a guy."
Lived experience by Hym Iam October 24, 2023
Podcasters
Oh? Is that "not smart?" You're still a bitch. So.... There's that...
Hym "You podcasters really are full of yourselves. You just sit there and jerk eachother off on camera in front of your wives. It's like a form of fetish porn for wannabes where you sit there and affirm your apathy to eachother."
Podcaster 1 "You know... We don't care about men's issues."
Podcaster 2 "Oh, yeah, no. I know. I don't... Should we... I don't know... Start doing that..."
Podcaster 1 "What!? No! Nonononononono... No... We can't do that..."
Podcaster 2 "What? Why?"
Podcaster 1 "Um, maybe because if THAT GUY'S issues were fixed he'd be better than me immediately with minimal effort... I'd look like a chump!"
Podcaster 2 "Ooooh... Right... Would I look like a-"
Podcaster 1 "You'd also look like a chump."
Hym "You podcasters really are full of yourselves. You just sit there and jerk eachother off on camera in front of your wives. It's like a form of fetish porn for wannabes where you sit there and affirm your apathy to eachother."
Podcaster 1 "You know... We don't care about men's issues."
Podcaster 2 "Oh, yeah, no. I know. I don't... Should we... I don't know... Start doing that..."
Podcaster 1 "What!? No! Nonononononono... No... We can't do that..."
Podcaster 2 "What? Why?"
Podcaster 1 "Um, maybe because if THAT GUY'S issues were fixed he'd be better than me immediately with minimal effort... I'd look like a chump!"
Podcaster 2 "Ooooh... Right... Would I look like a-"
Podcaster 1 "You'd also look like a chump."
Podcaster 2 "Oh... Right, ok. Yeah. No. I don't want to care about men's issues...."
Podcaster 1 "No, it's... It's fine. We don't have to-"
Podcaster 2 "OhthankGod!" 😮 💨
Podcaster 1 "Yeah, no. We're not doing that. Ok. Now whip out that fat-cock so we can jerk eachother off."
Podcaster 2 😩 "Mmm! Fuck yeah! Agree with me..."
Podcaster 1 😩 "Ergh! That's brilliant. I've never thought of it that way."
Podcaster 2 😩 "I'm gonna talk about my kids! I'm gonna talk about my kids all over your filthy podcast."
Podcaster 1 😩"Uuuugh! Tell me about you book!"
Podcaster 2 😖 "I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER SAID!"😫🍆💦...😮 💨...😮 💨...😮 💨
Podcaster 1 😫🍆💦 "UUUGGGGHHH!! MEN ARE WEAK!! Uuuugh!" 😮 💨...😮 💨...
Hym "This ☝️ is what you're like. This is what you podcasters are like."
Podcaster 1 "No, it's... It's fine. We don't have to-"
Podcaster 2 "OhthankGod!" 😮 💨
Podcaster 1 "Yeah, no. We're not doing that. Ok. Now whip out that fat-cock so we can jerk eachother off."
Podcaster 2 😩 "Mmm! Fuck yeah! Agree with me..."
Podcaster 1 😩 "Ergh! That's brilliant. I've never thought of it that way."
Podcaster 2 😩 "I'm gonna talk about my kids! I'm gonna talk about my kids all over your filthy podcast."
Podcaster 1 😩"Uuuugh! Tell me about you book!"
Podcaster 2 😖 "I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER SAID!"😫🍆💦...😮 💨...😮 💨...😮 💨
Podcaster 1 😫🍆💦 "UUUGGGGHHH!! MEN ARE WEAK!! Uuuugh!" 😮 💨...😮 💨...
Hym "This ☝️ is what you're like. This is what you podcasters are like."
Podcasters by Hym Iam October 24, 2023
Conditioned
Hym "Yeah, hey, my co-worker's mom died like 15 minutes after you left. She's having the worst day of her life and you're... Doing what, exactly? I'm sure saying that was super important to you though. But no. Not conditioned. I want you to know... That I am going to masterbate to your wife later. And every time you kids bleed it's the best day of my life. Even if I don't know that it's happening. Even if I'm not alive to experience it. It'll be like my own religious holiday."
Conditioned by Hym Iam October 22, 2023