Hoze's definitions

trailer

A place to take your secretary at lunch.

¿Ño, Enrique -- can I borrow your trailer again, por fa-fucking-vor?

by hoze November 23, 2003

ass breath

The breath of a vegetarian. They sit around smuggly odering carrot juice and similar shit, thinking that they're the cat's meow, when in fact, you could weld with their breath.

He: This Volvo was owned by a Professor.

She: How do you know?

He: can't you smell the ass breath?

by Hoze December 20, 2004

Toyota

A support system for a stainless steel exhaust tip for those who have micro dicks. A cramped little shitbox with a 5cc sewing machine motor. Something to bolt a grocery cart handle to while the zit faced asslick behind the wheel pretends that it's a spoiler.

I think I just squashed another Toyota.

by Hoze April 10, 2006

finger

Digits of the human hand that during courtship (with any luck) small lkie fish.

Knock-knock. "Who's there?" Wilma. "Wilma who?" Wilma finger do until I get my pants off.

by hoze October 25, 2004

shitwig

A tenured Economics professor.

Pretrial discovery is beginning -- have we hired a shitwig yet?

by hoze November 23, 2003

Mazda

A Jap car company that has stubbornly hung with Dr. Oskermyer Weiner Wankel's rotary engine for decades longer than makes any sense. The early RX7's wheezed out about 31 horse power and produced less torque than a kid on a rocking horse. The last ones weren't much better, and did miserably in the marketplace. Equipped with more plumbing than Staten Island, rotaries can be made to made quite a few horse power for quite a few seconds. Their dying, although not worth the price of admission, is one resounding clunk followed by a colossal wheeze and a final fart. It musta taken some fantastic Gheshia blowjobs to persuade Ford to piss away millions on the latest incarnation of the would-up rubber band sounding rotary. Even mazda had sense enough to put pistons in the vast majority of their cars. Still, there's a few, very few, persnicketdy old fucks who want something inefficient and queer and Mazda's got every one of 'em in the bag.

Is that a cloud of cicadias I hear or did some queer turd just drive by in a Mazda?

by Hoze December 23, 2004

DUI

(Dee'-you-aye) mod english, punctuation omitted, n., 1) a substiute for a powerful sports car; 2) substitute for racing lessons; 3) a driving technique, esp., for middle aged white men who "drive better drunk than most people do sober" that is useful in getting home before the wife figures out that you're porking the secretary.

One the forth DUI, you might get to be some niggaz bitch!

by Hoze April 24, 2004