A supersweet time assassin if you’re down to seeds and stems, laid off, lovelost and unable to get your shoulder rotator pins because of all the Covid creeps taking up hospital beds.
“Please honey,” said Dawna, “won’t you come fit your body in this comfy bed? I have the Astroglide warmed up just the way you like it.”
“No, darlin’, can’t,” is Max’s rejoinder. “My phone just charged. UrbanDictionary.com called, and you know the emotional fallout if I don’t obey.”
“I yelled out in my sleep, but it wasn’t a nightmare,” Miranda said, uncharacteristically calm. “It was an UrbanDictionary.com rabbit hole, and my brain slurped it up like warm potato soup.”
“No, darlin’, can’t,” is Max’s rejoinder. “My phone just charged. UrbanDictionary.com called, and you know the emotional fallout if I don’t obey.”
“I yelled out in my sleep, but it wasn’t a nightmare,” Miranda said, uncharacteristically calm. “It was an UrbanDictionary.com rabbit hole, and my brain slurped it up like warm potato soup.”
by Hifalutin! February 03, 2022
“I look into his eyes and see vast oceans,” says Panda. “It’s like an amazing, endless stomach ache. I can’t sleep. It is truly The Sauce.”
“Sounds like J.M.W. Turner and a case of indigestion,” grumbles Mouse, a virtual stranger to losing his head over womxn – well there was the sprite back in Fresh Air Fund camp, but that was only a preteen fantasy. You be safe now.”
64-year-old Maggie has embarked on a virtual quest for a young stud. In 90 days, she has connected with a dozen guys on eHarmony and all of them say they are ready for an adventure with an older woman, particularly a "well-stocked lady" such as herself who wants to “spoil a guy”. Too bad because what Maggie secretly longs for is The Sauce.
“Sounds like J.M.W. Turner and a case of indigestion,” grumbles Mouse, a virtual stranger to losing his head over womxn – well there was the sprite back in Fresh Air Fund camp, but that was only a preteen fantasy. You be safe now.”
64-year-old Maggie has embarked on a virtual quest for a young stud. In 90 days, she has connected with a dozen guys on eHarmony and all of them say they are ready for an adventure with an older woman, particularly a "well-stocked lady" such as herself who wants to “spoil a guy”. Too bad because what Maggie secretly longs for is The Sauce.
by Hifalutin! March 09, 2022
Place of quarantine.
Mephistopholes remained in his hunkerdown for the rest of the pandemic, emerging only for gingerale, The Wall Street Journal and smoke.
Refusing to go to ground in a hunkerdown, brave Bettina kept her janitorial job at Lincoln Center--which was much easier now that all performances were remote. "My, my," she said later in an oral history of The Covid Time. "Fat cats didn't know if they were coming or going--if I paid 250 a ticket, I'd sure show up for the symphony."
Refusing to go to ground in a hunkerdown, brave Bettina kept her janitorial job at Lincoln Center--which was much easier now that all performances were remote. "My, my," she said later in an oral history of The Covid Time. "Fat cats didn't know if they were coming or going--if I paid 250 a ticket, I'd sure show up for the symphony."
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022
“I was glad I’d done due diligence on the Peloton,” aging Alice grinned as she snugged up her Eileen Fisher trousers. “I wanted the fanny mail I texted The Boss to be taut, and you should have seen that shit.”
“Tracy’s gone over the deep end, gifting fanny mail to all her faves, Drake, Nikky Jam, you name it,” Ike said ruefully. “At least I know the thongs are legit; I ordered smoked lace for her, 3 for 40 bucks from Savage X Fenty, the Valentine’s special.”
“Tracy’s gone over the deep end, gifting fanny mail to all her faves, Drake, Nikky Jam, you name it,” Ike said ruefully. “At least I know the thongs are legit; I ordered smoked lace for her, 3 for 40 bucks from Savage X Fenty, the Valentine’s special.”
by Hifalutin! February 03, 2022
It’s not at all okay, but the expression comes in handy when it is socially expedient to give reassurance. Interchangeable with No worries.
The tornado wrecked your house, you suffered a mild concussion and three broken ribs, the dog is missing, and you’re on the phone with your hysterically worried mom. “S’all good, you know, mom, s'all good. We’re all alive, praise God, that’s what counts.”
You come home to find your wife fellating your best friend, a relationship you suspected but didn’t want to confront your beloved about for fear she would get mad and divorce you. You were always a wimp. “S’all good, s’all good,” you say as you tiptoe back out of the bedroom. “No worries. See you later, hon.”
You come home to find your wife fellating your best friend, a relationship you suspected but didn’t want to confront your beloved about for fear she would get mad and divorce you. You were always a wimp. “S’all good, s’all good,” you say as you tiptoe back out of the bedroom. “No worries. See you later, hon.”
by Hifalutin! February 14, 2022
“Titanic!” drones NancyLee. “My grandmaw thought it was sweet, but she was weaned on MTV. Today, we consider the memes. ..”
“Enough from the harumphsquad,” objects Gabriel. “Your grandmaw liked her pickles sour, nothing wrong with that.”
Andy and Mandy dive under the couch and power down their Grand Theft Auto when greybeard mom and pop come in: watch out, it’s the harumphsquad!
“Enough from the harumphsquad,” objects Gabriel. “Your grandmaw liked her pickles sour, nothing wrong with that.”
Andy and Mandy dive under the couch and power down their Grand Theft Auto when greybeard mom and pop come in: watch out, it’s the harumphsquad!
by Hifalutin! February 03, 2022
By the time Willow decided to attend her stepmother’s remarriage to Joe-the-Plumber, all the motels in Provincetown had been booked, so she spent the pre-nuptials night on a frenemy’s pullout torture bed and ruined her party back.
“Silas,” says Gal, “I seriously want to stay the weekend and help curate your 3,000-piece Educa Amsterdam puzzle, but the prospect of winding up gagging in your torture bed makes me honestly say I must beg off.”
“I know it’s not the torture bed but the Axe,” says Silas. “It’s always been the Axe.”
“Silas,” says Gal, “I seriously want to stay the weekend and help curate your 3,000-piece Educa Amsterdam puzzle, but the prospect of winding up gagging in your torture bed makes me honestly say I must beg off.”
“I know it’s not the torture bed but the Axe,” says Silas. “It’s always been the Axe.”
by Hifalutin! February 07, 2022