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Hifalutin!'s definitions

Fanny Mail

Sexts sent to major stars by rabid fans.
“I was glad I’d done due diligence on the Peloton,” aging Alice grinned as she snugged up her Eileen Fisher trousers. “I wanted the fanny mail I texted The Boss to be taut, and you should have seen that shit.”

“Tracy’s gone over the deep end, gifting fanny mail to all her faves, Drake, Nikky Jam, you name it,” Ike said ruefully. “At least I know the thongs are legit; I ordered smoked lace for her, 3 for 40 bucks from Savage X Fenty, the Valentine’s special.”
by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
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Jizzmatron

Useful man-machine imported to a lucky lonely lady's boudoir. Aka a jizzdroid.
"We think we know the perfect bachelorette gift for solitary Martha," said Penelope, always down with the latest trends. "This dude is a regular jizzmatron. I've already placed the order."

"Covid layoffs left me without a job," said Howie the paralegal. "So I plundered the gig economy for work as a jizzdroid. Pretty sweet all around."
by Hifalutin! January 22, 2022
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Clickwait

Time lapsing before a site gets online attention.
“Someday,” web consultant/rip off artist Ernesto promises, “FabuousPalmSpringsFollies.com will wind up winning SEO eyeballs, it’s just a matter of clickwait.”
“Sure,” says Polly, at 95 the oldest in the bunch, “and all us golden hoofers will be doing the can can in our graves.”

“You see,” Marigold explains to numb-nut Fred, ”It's definite. Fiverr is bound to bring clients in to Marigold and Fred’s TruthWashing Service.”
“I understand,” Fred mopes, sensing poverty ahead. “Just don’t know if I can stand the clickwait.”
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022
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pre-grieve

Also pre-grieving, pre-grieved. How you handle it when someone dear to you is near death.
“Curtis came through like a tornado, sulking and fuming” said Maddie after Winston finally came out of the ICU feet first , “and you couldn’t say a word without him blowing up.”
Offering scant reassurance, Bruce said “You can’t take it personally, though, he wasn’t mad at you, he was pre-grieving.”
“He was still a little shit,” said Maddie.

"Mom was so staunch when Dad was in hospice." says Rosemarie. "She pre-grieved by completely reorganizing the china cupboard, the linen closet and even the glove box of his Caddie."
by Hifalutin! February 21, 2022
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Awesome-ish

A smidge above meh.
“Dude, don’t go to the Van Gogh Sensurround for your birthday,” said know-it-all Mei-Mei, “it’s only awesome-ish. Hit Little Island instead, that’s way trippier.”

Knut the aspiring model checks his look in the mirror – even with new cheekbones, just awesome-ish, he thinks sadly. Next, the lip plump.
by Hifalutin! February 4, 2022
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Sportus interruptus

When your mother-in-law cuts off the nailbiter game 2 minutes before the finish.
She said she recorded the game for us, but the Suns-Mavs game suffered from sportus interruptus.

The Pack went into overtime but the recording ran out, a coitus interruptus bummer!
by Hifalutin! January 20, 2022
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Airsport

Hookup in the chi-chi first-class airport lounge.
“Storm delayed takeoff, said LiPo, “so MaryBeth and I had a little public airsport at the new LaGuardia, smeared her flight attendant makeup pretty hard!”

You know what’s great about the wee hours at Heathrow?” whispers Gemma Bryn in her foxy cockney. “I’ll get to grab you for some airsport while everyone else sleeps.”
by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
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