Definitions by Hifalutin!
Awesome-ish
“Dude, don’t go to the Van Gogh Sensurround for your birthday,” said know-it-all Mei-Mei, “it’s only awesome-ish. Hit Little Island instead, that’s way trippier.”
Knut the aspiring model checks his look in the mirror – even with new cheekbones, just awesome-ish, he thinks sadly. Next, the lip plump.
Knut the aspiring model checks his look in the mirror – even with new cheekbones, just awesome-ish, he thinks sadly. Next, the lip plump.
Awesome-ish by Hifalutin! February 4, 2022
Airsport
“Storm delayed takeoff, said LiPo, “so MaryBeth and I had a little public airsport at the new LaGuardia, smeared her flight attendant makeup pretty hard!”
“You know what’s great about the wee hours at Heathrow?” whispers Gemma Bryn in her foxy cockney. “I’ll get to grab you for some airsport while everyone else sleeps.”
“You know what’s great about the wee hours at Heathrow?” whispers Gemma Bryn in her foxy cockney. “I’ll get to grab you for some airsport while everyone else sleeps.”
Airsport by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
Livingwurst
Panda lost his job, then his apartment, and resigned himself to mama’s den foldout, the smell of her foo young and her Sean Hannity addiction, bravely stocking a minifridge full of nothing but Coors Light and livingwurst from the Polish deli in Yonkers.
“I actually don’t mind livingwurst,” said Tommy, firing up the Weber on his fire escape. “To me, it’s as tasty as the Wagyu I used to love, at a tenth of the cost. I don’t have to do Noom, either, as food of that texture is naturally self-limiting.”
“I actually don’t mind livingwurst,” said Tommy, firing up the Weber on his fire escape. “To me, it’s as tasty as the Wagyu I used to love, at a tenth of the cost. I don’t have to do Noom, either, as food of that texture is naturally self-limiting.”
Livingwurst by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
Fauxmosexual
You know it and they know it, and everyone thinks it's fine, but the closet is still a deep, comfortable place.
Mickey the fauxmosexual, divorced with a grown son, still flies to the Big Apple from Elk Horn four times a year to see the Broadway shows, stay at the 14th Street Y and spend long hours “chatting with my favorite bartenders.” Creams over Mariah and Mendelssohn interchangeably.
“Sissy Oliphant has been known to date men,” I told my bestie quizzically, “but she has moved from pad to pad with the same woman since she graduated from Barnard a decade ago and still throws Ellen theme parties; don’t tell me she’s not a fauxmosexual.”
“Sissy Oliphant has been known to date men,” I told my bestie quizzically, “but she has moved from pad to pad with the same woman since she graduated from Barnard a decade ago and still throws Ellen theme parties; don’t tell me she’s not a fauxmosexual.”
Fauxmosexual by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
UrbanDictionary.com
A supersweet time assassin if you’re down to seeds and stems, laid off, lovelost and unable to get your shoulder rotator pins because of all the Covid creeps taking up hospital beds.
“Please honey,” said Dawna, “won’t you come fit your body in this comfy bed? I have the Astroglide warmed up just the way you like it.”
“No, darlin’, can’t,” is Max’s rejoinder. “My phone just charged. UrbanDictionary.com called, and you know the emotional fallout if I don’t obey.”
“I yelled out in my sleep, but it wasn’t a nightmare,” Miranda said, uncharacteristically calm. “It was an UrbanDictionary.com rabbit hole, and my brain slurped it up like warm potato soup.”
“No, darlin’, can’t,” is Max’s rejoinder. “My phone just charged. UrbanDictionary.com called, and you know the emotional fallout if I don’t obey.”
“I yelled out in my sleep, but it wasn’t a nightmare,” Miranda said, uncharacteristically calm. “It was an UrbanDictionary.com rabbit hole, and my brain slurped it up like warm potato soup.”
UrbanDictionary.com by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
Harumphsquad
“Titanic!” drones NancyLee. “My grandmaw thought it was sweet, but she was weaned on MTV. Today, we consider the memes. ..”
“Enough from the harumphsquad,” objects Gabriel. “Your grandmaw liked her pickles sour, nothing wrong with that.”
Andy and Mandy dive under the couch and power down their Grand Theft Auto when greybeard mom and pop come in: watch out, it’s the harumphsquad!
“Enough from the harumphsquad,” objects Gabriel. “Your grandmaw liked her pickles sour, nothing wrong with that.”
Andy and Mandy dive under the couch and power down their Grand Theft Auto when greybeard mom and pop come in: watch out, it’s the harumphsquad!
Harumphsquad by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
Coldbody
“Why’d you have to invite James, Jr.,” demanded CocoPuff. “The last thing we need is another coldbody on this cruise.”
“Once upon a time, Sag Harbor softball picnics rocked,” grumbled Big Bess. “Then we merged leagues with the fruits, and in come the Amagansett coldbodies.”
“Water after wine,” agreed The Squid.
“Once upon a time, Sag Harbor softball picnics rocked,” grumbled Big Bess. “Then we merged leagues with the fruits, and in come the Amagansett coldbodies.”
“Water after wine,” agreed The Squid.
Coldbody by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022