19 definitions by Hammer of Jesus

A phallus of immense girth, length, and/or strength. Wielders as well as recipients must exercise extreme caution.
Sally was completely destroyed by Ralph’s power penis. Her funeral is tomorrow.
by Hammer of Jesus January 19, 2019
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The third occasion of National Dick Sucking Day, occurring on October 12th every year.
Ron: Man, I sure gobbled a whole shitload of knobs on National Dick Sucking Day III.

Abe: Same bro. I love celebrating all of the 365 non-consecutive and independent occurrences of National Dick Sucking Day every year!
by Hammer of Jesus April 14, 2019
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A food item containing all of the same ingredients as a chicken pot pie, but chicken is replaced with penis.
Bill: My wife made the most delicious penis pot pie last night!

Ted: Wait...You ate penis for dinner?

Bill: It's totally normal! You should try some!

Ted: I think I'll pass. You and your wife should get some help.
by Hammer of Jesus October 06, 2013
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A designated person whose job it is to rinse penis. The penis rinser may be assigned to a single, or multiple penises.
Geoff: Man, I really got it all over the place with that cumfart...we’re gonna need some tissues.

Norbert: No need, my personal penis rinser will take care of our penises.

Geoff: Wow! Thanks bro!
by Hammer of Jesus April 24, 2019
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The rare occurrence of a pair of testicles hanging perfectly equidistant to the ground, as opposed to their regular offset position.
Tony: Bro check out my balls! Total scrotumnal equinox!

Harold: Impressive symmetry! Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Tony: Damn straight, now open wide homie!
by Hammer of Jesus May 29, 2020
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An acronym for Sudden Extreme Boner Syndrome. SEBS may occur due to a sudden high volume of stimulation, or occasionally no apparent reason at all. Unfortunate recipients of SEBS often experience pain, rupturing of clothing in the crotch, among other unpleasantries.
Stacy was going down on Chad, when Chad suddenly thought about Stacy’s mom and immediately contracted SEBS. His powerful erection broke the sound barrier and punched a hole in Stacy’s skull. Stacy’s mom heard the sonic boom from downstairs and immediately knew that SEBS had just lobotomized her daughter.
by Hammer of Jesus February 05, 2019
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A situation involving heavy sexual deviance of the rectum amid a furious homosexual encounter.
Bob: I heard Frank had to get reconstructive surgery on his asshole after spending an evening with Don.

Gerald: Just one night? Damn, there must have been seriously heinous anus gayness afoot.
by Hammer of Jesus August 17, 2019
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