Gnostic1's definitions

Alder Flats

place. Gritty town left beside the road on the way to prosperity. Founded in 1892 by independent spirits who were not interested in the progressive ways of the people in Rimbey.

Home of the Fighting Badgers, the tri-province soccer champs three years running (1899,1900 and 1901), and twice voted "Hamlet of the Decade" by a local pamphlet company, Alder Flats is poised to leap into the twentieth century.

I had a dream last night. Alder Flats was a rainbow and Rocky Mountain House was a scorpion chasing its tail. Aerosmith music was playing. There were rocks in the road. A lot of rocks.

by gnostic1 July 1, 2012

setting the tea things out

v. phrase. British euphemism for going topless in public. Often used by the upper crust and royalty.

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I say Duchess! Do you judge it wise to be setting the tea things out so early in the afternoon?

Barleybone, you are such a toast browner.

by gnostic1 October 12, 2012

bonspiel

n. "sporting" activity in which marginally inebriated Canadians curl large lumps of granite down a frozen carpet of ice in order to obtain a "hammer" which, I believe, is the metric equivalent of a "fifth" of rye. Oddly enough a "fifth", in curling, is a player too incompetent to play well. Brooms are used to clear debris off the ice and roller blades can be worn for decreased traction but aren't compulsory.

Originally the game was played on Scotland's lakes by English soldiers with frozen lumps of haggis.
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Dude! I feel like a bonspiel tonight! Let's totally whip some stones into the hack and try to knock out some inturns with a double raise!

Listen to yourself. You've only been curling for a month and already you sound like a Canadian stoner.

Hurry hard!

by gnostic1 September 12, 2011

penguin's life

n. any lifestyle consisting of existence in a bleak setting surrounded by identical people, houses, jobs etc.

Hey, are you going to apply for the associate dough stirrer position when Doug finally succombs to starchy pulmonary granulomatosis?

No way! The penguin's life is not for me. I'm gonna open a bong repair shop in Malibu and surf, surf, surf.

Don't forget to buy a black and white tuxedo wet suit.

by gnostic1 January 3, 2011

claustral

adj. Capable of inducing claustrophobia.

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Nice apartment dude. Perhaps a bit tiny. I hope your new wife isn't claustral.

No. I think she's Lutheran.

by gnostic1 January 15, 2012

penicillin money

n. money set aside, when budgeting for a hooker's services, to pay for acquired infectious disease treatment, laceration repairs, forgiveness flowers etc.

Hey! You coming to Vegas or what! I know you got the itch again.

Actually, I've always got the itch ... on account of I didn't have any penicillin money last time we went.

by gnostic1 August 6, 2011

synofile

n. Much sought after synonym for thesaurus; usually applied to a reference work on a hard drive or internet server.

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Dude! What's another word for bong? I'm trying to write a song and the scansion here's all wrong.

Check the synofile, and perhaps try Urbandictionary.

by gnostic1 September 21, 2011