Florida Sunshine's definitions

closet rack

The act of a woman hiding (taping down) her breasts to make people think she's a boy or man.

Hey Bob, Did you see Hilary Swank on the Oscar's Show last night in that low-cut see-through dress?? Man, she's got huge beautiful Mogambos!!! I can't believe that she had that 'closet rack' in the movie 'Boys Don't Cry'! I'm so happy to see that 'they' finally came out! Those titties are truly 'Million Dollar Babies'!!

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

cunt opener

Many years ago Father's would force his daughter to wear a chastity belt to prevent her from losing her virginity. Sometime during the Industrial Age the 'cunt opener' was invented. It was a device that hung on the wall developed by Black and Dekker. You would insert the woman upside down and she would spin around until she fell to the ground and the little magnet would retain the chastity belt.

Crap, her Dad padlocked a chastity belt on her!! Dudes, anyone got a 'cunt opener' on them?

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

aussie asshole

One of many Australian guys screaming at you on the 1 minute TV infomercial asking you to buy their product. 'ONLY NOINTEEN-NOINTY-NOINE!! AN' THAS NAHT AHLL!!! IF YA' BWIE EET NOW WE'LL EVEN THRO' IN... My Question: Why in the fuck are they all from Australia?

AYE MATE!!! IT'S THE AUSSIE ASSHOLE 'ERE AGANE. IT'S THE FOOKING JUPITAH JACK!!! IT ALLAWS YA TO TALK ON YO FOOKING FONE IN YO FOOKING CAH!!

by Florida Sunshine November 14, 2009

sloppy fiftieths

This is where you score with a really hot girl but know that 49 of your buddies have already fucked her over the last couple of years. But she is hot so you still feel a sort of both pride and shame. You quickly jump into the shower and cry...

Hugo, I finally got sloppy fiftieths with Jessika. I think I'm in love with her even though I could never marry or respect her.

by Florida Sunshine July 27, 2020

xbox hive

A grouping of 3 or more teens in your sons room playing/watching Xbox Live. Usually you only see them when they leave the hive and ask you for a sandwich and drink

So Bob, how are the kids doing. Hell if I know!? They've been buzzing around in their Xbox Hive all weekend.

by Florida Sunshine November 14, 2009

hogan's homo's

This is what happened to Colonel Hogan and the rest of his G.I.s after they were never rescued from Colonel Klink's Stalag 13 concentration camp.

Sergeant Schultz!! Did you witness colonel hogan buttfucking Kinchlo? Did you see 'hogan's homo's' in action??
Sgt. Schultz replies, "I SAW NOTHING!! NOTHING!!'

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

desert dick

'Desert Dick' or as it sometimes referred to 'SPGS' (Sandy Penis Gulf Syndrome) or PTDDD (Post Traumatic Desert Dick Disorder) first came into origin around the 1980s during the first Gulf War Conflict. It is the gradual build up of sand around the Penis glans from extended Desert winds and Sand Storms mostly experienced by U.S. male Soldiers. While it is not a malady that female soldiers can get, they are still affected by the Desert Dick Syndrome. During coitus with a male soldier the female soldier can sometimes be overheard stating, "Oh my God, that feels like Sandpaper! Do you have Desert Dick?" At that point you can simply ignore her, deny having Desert Dick, or simply give her a firm "Camel Punch" in the back of the head.
The 'Desert Dick' should never be confused with the 'Dessert Dick' which is entirely different but oft mispelled or mistaken. The 'Dessert Dick' involves gently laying the penis on a long boat-shaped bowl, adding strawberries, banana slices, some Cool Whip, and gently topping your nuts with nuts.

Man, I'm so tired of having Desert Dick. I could try soaking my penis but I heard that there's a sandstorm on the way so why bother??

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009