Flatster's definitions

jelly jewelry

The creation of jewelry consisting of semen.

Rings: during hand-shandy's
Necklace's: when she doesn't swallow
Bracelets: when she gives you a hand-shandy

She was tugging hard the other night and I shot me load, giving her some nice rings and plenty of other jelly jewelry as well...

by Flatster November 10, 2005

happy slappy

Criminal acts, often caught on mobile video phone's and passed around to other children to witness. Often these are scenes of bullying, rape, and, in some cases murder.

Newspaper headline: "Happy slappy incident: gang of 19, average age 12, gang rape girl, 13".

by Flatster November 26, 2005

carpet kaleidoscope

The puddle of vomit on the floor. Typically indoors hence the "carpet" prefix.

Show's evidence of one's last meal and therefore consists of many colours. Hence, "kaleidoscope".

Strangely, all spew consists of carrot's and tomato skins regardless of what one has eaten.

"I feel sick..."
"Don't you being doing no carpet kaleidoscope in my house!"
***barf***"
"eeeuuuwww duuuuude!"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

furry oyster

The female pubic hair region that vaguely resembles an oyster shape.

"Did she get her kit off, then?"
"Yeah! And good christ - she had some furry oyster on her!"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

turf out

Excrete, empty one's bowels. The act of getting rid of last night's over-indulgence in curry and copious amounts of Newcastle Brown Ale. Dog's also turf out regularly, for no other reason other than to turf out in general... and pound for pound their's is bigger.

"You look relieved. Wassup?"
"Mate, I had a turf out this morning..."
"Big night?"
"Chicken tikka chilli balti phal and 12 pints of Newky"

by Flatster October 28, 2005

Chin pistons

Arms and fists when used in a fighting sense, particularly when landing a felling blow upon the opponents chin.

1: Did ya beat 'im up den?
2: Yer! Oi leddim 'ave wi' me chin pistons dinnai?

by Flatster October 27, 2005

hip hop

The second poxiest kind of "music" on the planet, rap being the number one all-time shitest. I won't even go into why; just listen to some and feel your IQ decrease and your brains slop out from your ears. You may want to wear a cap sideways after the experience and that also makes you like a nob.

Pure talentless drivel. If someone said I should listen to some I'd rather, and I quote, "stick my wedding tackle in a lions mouth while whipping it's love spuds with a wet towel".

Guy 1: What's that sound?
Guy 2: Hip hop
Guy 1: Shit innit?
Guy 2: Yes

by flatster October 9, 2006