Definitions by Fearman
fungus farm
Accommodation typically offered by cowboy landlords and especially to students, shot through with a fungal growth. The fungal infestation is often temporarily retarded at point of sale by gas or electric heaters which the landlord has removed shortly thereafter. Even if the hyphae have ramified all the way into or up from the foundations, in popular mythology it is always the tenant's fault.
Shane and myself got a cheap ground floor apartment ostensibly for a year on coming to Cork, but it turned out to be a fungus farm and we had to move out after a month for the good of our health.
fungus farm by Fearman January 7, 2008
Darth Voldism
Alternative genre of Harry Potter fandom featuring story lines in which the Dark Lord Voldemort turns out to be Harry's dad. Influenced by an obscure line of space adventure movies coming from southern California via Tunisia, Italy and Norway, inter alia.
Typical scene from the vaults of Darth Voldism:
Voldemort scanned the graveyard with his glaring red eyes, the snowy whiteness of his face twitching as he looked about for that annoying teenager. If only he could be made to understand, everything would be so simple ...,
He turned down a blind alley of tombstones backed with impenetrable briars, and there was Harry in front of him.
Harry swallowed hard and levelled his wand, but he did not unleash anything Voldemort's way, no doubt foolish and desperate enough to expect Voldemort to say something that might help Harry out of this impasse.
Yet Voldemort was not about to try any unwarranted aggression, and in fact when he spoke his voice was almost gentle.
"Why do you insist on running, Harry? Why don't you join me? You know it is futile to resist. Join me, and together we can rule the worlds of wizards and Muggles alike. There is nothing we cannot do ...,"
"I'll never join you", Harry said. "Never! Do you hear? I'm not like you at all."
"Ahh", said Voldemort, "but Albus never told you the truth, did he? About what really happened on that night fourteen years ago ...,"
"He told me enough. You're a mass murderer. You've slaughtered hundreds of wizards. You murdered my parents. You murdered my mother. You killed my father."
At that, Voldemort's face grew solemn and a little sad. Holding his wand aside, he spread his arms in greeting.
"No, Harry. I did not kill your father. I ... AM your father."
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Voldemort scanned the graveyard with his glaring red eyes, the snowy whiteness of his face twitching as he looked about for that annoying teenager. If only he could be made to understand, everything would be so simple ...,
He turned down a blind alley of tombstones backed with impenetrable briars, and there was Harry in front of him.
Harry swallowed hard and levelled his wand, but he did not unleash anything Voldemort's way, no doubt foolish and desperate enough to expect Voldemort to say something that might help Harry out of this impasse.
Yet Voldemort was not about to try any unwarranted aggression, and in fact when he spoke his voice was almost gentle.
"Why do you insist on running, Harry? Why don't you join me? You know it is futile to resist. Join me, and together we can rule the worlds of wizards and Muggles alike. There is nothing we cannot do ...,"
"I'll never join you", Harry said. "Never! Do you hear? I'm not like you at all."
"Ahh", said Voldemort, "but Albus never told you the truth, did he? About what really happened on that night fourteen years ago ...,"
"He told me enough. You're a mass murderer. You've slaughtered hundreds of wizards. You murdered my parents. You murdered my mother. You killed my father."
At that, Voldemort's face grew solemn and a little sad. Holding his wand aside, he spread his arms in greeting.
"No, Harry. I did not kill your father. I ... AM your father."
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Darth Voldism by Fearman January 7, 2008
psychic-recursive gene
The gene responsible for making some people believe that anything from homosexuality to kleptomania can be tied to a single gene.
He says he's found a gay gene, an anti-social gene, a literary gene and a deep-sea exploration-promoting gene. I guess his psychic-recursive gene is working overtime.
psychic-recursive gene by Fearman January 6, 2008
necro-reiteration
Mental experience in which you come to believe on numerous occasions that someone must have died a while back, often persisting for many years until you hear for certain in the media that they have just actually died.
I had necro-reiteration about Joan Miro and Evel Knievel for at least a decade before they popped their clogs.
necro-reiteration by Fearman January 6, 2008
Mel Gibson
"Actor" and director, full name Mellicent Religiosus No Sodomites Please I'm Catholic Gibson, who was born in New York State and made it big in Australia playing a former cop who becomes a hero for a lot of post-Apocalyptic Aussies when you can tell by the look on his face that all he wanted was a Fosters. Often described as anti-Semitic (Jew-hating), and he may very well be ... on a bad day he gives the Jews about one percent of the venom and bile that he reserves for gays. The most consistently homophobic major director of the last twenty years. You don't believe me? Just watch Braveheart, for Chrissakes. Speaking of which, The Passion of the Christ would do as well.
Having said that, he really does have a cute ass.
Having said that, he really does have a cute ass.
Quotes from Mel Gibson:
And tell the English ... that they may TAKE our LIEEVES ... but thay'll NEVAHR ... get theer HONDS ... AP oor KELTS!!
- Braveheart (Director's Cut)
Umm ... yes, well, it's a matter of fact that my grandfather was homosexual, and so was that teacher in remedial English that kept giving me detention, and Pontius Pilate, and Satan, and all those guys from South Africa who dumped on the niggers, hey, one of my best buddies was black, you know, and all those Orthodox Jews were homosexual too, and so are the Reform movement, and there are a lot of them out by Alice Springs and Coober Pedy, and I think Martin Luther was homosexual too, yeah, and ...,
- confidentially leaked interview
Danny, c-mere, stick my shoulder joint back in the socket, I'm too pooped, just don't, y'know, get too close, man ...,
- Lethal Weapon 2, Director's Cut
I only hate the Jews when I'm drunk.
- confidentially leaked interview
And tell the English ... that they may TAKE our LIEEVES ... but thay'll NEVAHR ... get theer HONDS ... AP oor KELTS!!
- Braveheart (Director's Cut)
Umm ... yes, well, it's a matter of fact that my grandfather was homosexual, and so was that teacher in remedial English that kept giving me detention, and Pontius Pilate, and Satan, and all those guys from South Africa who dumped on the niggers, hey, one of my best buddies was black, you know, and all those Orthodox Jews were homosexual too, and so are the Reform movement, and there are a lot of them out by Alice Springs and Coober Pedy, and I think Martin Luther was homosexual too, yeah, and ...,
- confidentially leaked interview
Danny, c-mere, stick my shoulder joint back in the socket, I'm too pooped, just don't, y'know, get too close, man ...,
- Lethal Weapon 2, Director's Cut
I only hate the Jews when I'm drunk.
- confidentially leaked interview
Mel Gibson by Fearman January 6, 2008
Frankenphobia
Morbid irrational fear of biotechnology and/or its products. Endlessly incited by born-again hippie fundamentalists, who would prefer us all to live like Freddie Flintstone. From Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (an endlessly quoted popular reference) and the suffix -phobia.
Morning Flower is spreading her Frankenphobia around again, telling everyone genetically modified tomatoes are bad for their children.
When are these very very trendy people going to accept that Frankenphobia is soooooo yesterday?
When are these very very trendy people going to accept that Frankenphobia is soooooo yesterday?
Frankenphobia by Fearman January 6, 2008