Failurebitch's definitions
Born: 10-11-2019
Time of death 6:18 AM 9-8-2021
Cause of death: Cancer
She was an adorable baby girl who loved her family. Her and her family fought hard for to live. When she died, her oldest female cousin was over 200 miles away asleep in bed. When her cousin got up for work that morning, she had a splitting headache on the left side of the brain, but chalked it up to not using her CPAP and to hormones as it was almost that time of the month. Hours later, that same cousin would find out in the middle of her shift that Kiaya had passed away, and start crying.
Time of death 6:18 AM 9-8-2021
Cause of death: Cancer
She was an adorable baby girl who loved her family. Her and her family fought hard for to live. When she died, her oldest female cousin was over 200 miles away asleep in bed. When her cousin got up for work that morning, she had a splitting headache on the left side of the brain, but chalked it up to not using her CPAP and to hormones as it was almost that time of the month. Hours later, that same cousin would find out in the middle of her shift that Kiaya had passed away, and start crying.
Kiaya, you were a really sweet baby. I know that the headache was my body trying to tell me that you were gone.😭
by Failurebitch September 15, 2021
Get the Kiaya mug.There are two types of femcels. One is nice, the other is toxic. Here's how to tell the difference:
Nice femcel: Is polite, doesn't get out much, might struggle financially/professionally (living with her parents after her 21st birthday, hard time finding a job where she fits her role), has a hard time making friends (generally doesn't like to bother people and might be shy/timid), is quiet, might have some form of autism, generally have depression, and blames herself for her problems. Generally average or slightly above average in appearence/intelligence This type is rare.
Toxic femcel: This is the most common type of femcel. They usually have short hair greasy hairt that's dyed bright colors, hate men simply for existing, blame the "patriarchy" for their personal problems instead of taking responsibility, they are VERY rude/entitled (so they act like Karens), have low IQs, smell bad (due to bad hygiene and their cats pissing/shitting everywhere), usually have 20 cats, never wear bras because they think bras somehow support the "patriarchy", and never get rid of that disgusting armpit hair or leg hair. They are generally below average to freakishly ugly when it comes to looks, and are incredibly dumb. Their personalities are atrocious.
Nice femcel: Is polite, doesn't get out much, might struggle financially/professionally (living with her parents after her 21st birthday, hard time finding a job where she fits her role), has a hard time making friends (generally doesn't like to bother people and might be shy/timid), is quiet, might have some form of autism, generally have depression, and blames herself for her problems. Generally average or slightly above average in appearence/intelligence This type is rare.
Toxic femcel: This is the most common type of femcel. They usually have short hair greasy hairt that's dyed bright colors, hate men simply for existing, blame the "patriarchy" for their personal problems instead of taking responsibility, they are VERY rude/entitled (so they act like Karens), have low IQs, smell bad (due to bad hygiene and their cats pissing/shitting everywhere), usually have 20 cats, never wear bras because they think bras somehow support the "patriarchy", and never get rid of that disgusting armpit hair or leg hair. They are generally below average to freakishly ugly when it comes to looks, and are incredibly dumb. Their personalities are atrocious.
Me: God, I must be a femcel, I still live with my parents at 22, can't find a job that sticks, and don't really have friends. It's all my fault.
Karen: You still live with your dad? I wish all men would fucking die!
Me: Go away Karen. The fact that you want all men to die is disgusting, plus you reek of cat piss, cat shit, sweat, used maxi pads, and a yeast infection, which is equally disgusting. Seriously, when was the last time you took a shower and did laundry?
Karen: Bathing and laundry were made up by the patriarchy! I haven't bathed or done laundry since I was 18!
Me: You mean to tell me that you haven't bathed or done laundry in almost a decade? How the actual fuck are you still alive and not dying of multiple infections?!?
Karen: Infections were made up by men so they had an excuse to objectify women!
Me: What the fuck kind of logic is that?
Karen: Stop asking me questions or I'm going to kick your ass!
Me: Really? I grew up as the only daughter and my parents had 4 sons. The fact that you think you can take me in a fight is hilarious!
Karen: Fuck you! (Tries to punch me)
Me: (Dodges, then knocks her out with one punch) Go fuck yourself.
Karen: You still live with your dad? I wish all men would fucking die!
Me: Go away Karen. The fact that you want all men to die is disgusting, plus you reek of cat piss, cat shit, sweat, used maxi pads, and a yeast infection, which is equally disgusting. Seriously, when was the last time you took a shower and did laundry?
Karen: Bathing and laundry were made up by the patriarchy! I haven't bathed or done laundry since I was 18!
Me: You mean to tell me that you haven't bathed or done laundry in almost a decade? How the actual fuck are you still alive and not dying of multiple infections?!?
Karen: Infections were made up by men so they had an excuse to objectify women!
Me: What the fuck kind of logic is that?
Karen: Stop asking me questions or I'm going to kick your ass!
Me: Really? I grew up as the only daughter and my parents had 4 sons. The fact that you think you can take me in a fight is hilarious!
Karen: Fuck you! (Tries to punch me)
Me: (Dodges, then knocks her out with one punch) Go fuck yourself.
by Failurebitch March 7, 2025
Get the Femcel mug.One of the reasons why some people choose to remain virgins for life. Raising children is very expensive, stressful, and frustrating, leaving the parents drained physically, psychologically, and financially. If a couple has 1, they have to put their life on hold for 18 years and 9 months so the child can grow up. If a couple decides to have multiple, their life could be put on hold for even longer depending on the age gaps and how many children they have. By the time the child/children reach adulthood, the couple is either middle aged or borderline elderly in most cases. In other cases, they could still have more after the first one turns 18 if the mom had the first one as a teenager.
I don't want children. Being pregnant, giving birth, cleaning up vomit/waste, middle of the night diaper changes/feeding, putting life on hold, not being able to afford things, dealing with disrespectful teenagers, the tantrums, and letting life pass me by isn't for me. Fuck that. I want to travel and have a life.
by Failurebitch March 7, 2025
Get the Children mug.1. A six sided box that we all end up in
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
Barnabas Collins: There were so many women that had delicious blood in their veins last night! The sun's about to rise, so I better go downstairs and get in my coffin.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
by Failurebitch May 28, 2023
Get the Coffin mug.Someone who's so fucking miserable from seeing child-free people enjoying having clean homes, stuff that isn't broken, and being able to travel that they insist that child-free people have kids just so the people who don't want kids can be miserable too.
Common things a breeder will say to a child-free person:
"You're being selfish"
"You'll change your mind"
"You're immature"
"You won't know true love until you have a baby"
"Motherhood/fatherhood is so rewarding"
"You're wasting your life"
"You'll regret not having a baby"
"You're lazy"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"You're gonna die alone"
Common things a breeder will say to a child-free person:
"You're being selfish"
"You'll change your mind"
"You're immature"
"You won't know true love until you have a baby"
"Motherhood/fatherhood is so rewarding"
"You're wasting your life"
"You'll regret not having a baby"
"You're lazy"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"You're gonna die alone"
Every child-free person will encounter a breeder sooner or later. Whether it be a family member, friend, romantic partner, or even your doctor (OBGYNs are NOTORIOUS for trying to get their patients to have babies since they make a lot money off of pregnant patients and less from patients who want to be sterilized!). Remind the breeders that your life choices have no impact on your life, and that they're an asshole for being so rude to you.
by Failurebitch July 14, 2025
Get the Breeder mug.by Failurebitch November 16, 2017
Get the dat boi mug.A misogynistic pig with an ugly personality and a microdick that hates women simply for existing. His followers consist of incels and 9-14 year old boys (who cry like babies if you dare say anything against Tate for some reason) that need to go outside and interact with the real world. Andrew Tate is also known for scamming people, being q malignant narcissist, encouraging violence (especially against women), being a pedophile, human trafficking, having a microdick, rape, being entitled, having a low IQ, and just being a piece of shit. Tate feels threatened by strong women, and REAL men who are not afraid to be compassionate towards everyone regardless of gender.
Andrew Tate is an asshole who wishes he could be a man imstead of a child with a beard. Any guy who treats women with respect is a REAL MAN.
by Failurebitch February 21, 2025
Get the Andrew Tate mug.