Children

One of the reasons why some people choose to remain virgins for life. Raising children is very expensive, stressful, and frustrating, leaving the parents drained physically, psychologically, and financially. If a couple has 1, they have to put their life on hold for 18 years and 9 months so the child can grow up. If a couple decides to have multiple, their life could be put on hold for even longer depending on the age gaps and how many children they have. By the time the child/children reach adulthood, the couple is either middle aged or borderline elderly in most cases. In other cases, they could still have more after the first one turns 18 if the mom had the first one as a teenager.

I don't want children. Being pregnant, giving birth, cleaning up vomit/waste, middle of the night diaper changes/feeding, putting life on hold, not being able to afford things, dealing with disrespectful teenagers, the tantrums, and letting life pass me by isn't for me. Fuck that. I want to travel and have a life.

by Failurebitch March 07, 2025

Coffin

1. A six sided box that we all end up in
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night

Barnabas Collins: There were so many women that had delicious blood in their veins last night! The sun's about to rise, so I better go downstairs and get in my coffin.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.

by Failurebitch May 28, 2023

That Vegan Teacher

Everyone who has critical thinking skills (including normal vegans who leave people alone) hates her. She's known for being a hypocrite and abusing/neglecting her poor dog who's clearly depressed because she feeds her dog kibble that's devoid of protein, so the dog is slowly dying. That Vegan Teacher tries to shove veganism down everyone's throats. She should be banned from all social media platforms so she can leave everyone alone.

We should ban That Vegan Teacher from all public spaces, social media, and from having pets.

by Failurebitch February 21, 2025

Tiny Dick Syndrome

Symptoms:

A small dick
Driving a super loud jacked up truck with headlights that turn night into day for over a mile
Idolizing misogynistic pigs that hit/rape/pimp out their girlfriends/wives
Normal voice volume is nearly a yell
Riding people's bumpers on the road, even when they are going 5mph over the speed limit (so feeling the need to go 10 mph+ OVER the speed limit despite not having an emergency or running late)
Sexually harassing women/not understanding that no means no
Watching porn 24/7
Narcissism
Either shutting down or becoming verbally/physically aggressive when criticized/repremanded (not stemming from childhood trauma/abuse)
Lying about how many women he's fucked (seriously, nobody wants/needs to know)

If you have Tiny Dick Syndrome, stay away from me.

by Failurebitch June 25, 2025

dat boi

frog on a unicycle

Here come dat boi, oh shit waddup.

by Failurebitch November 16, 2017

Breeder

Someone who's so fucking miserable from seeing child-free people enjoying having clean homes, stuff that isn't broken, and being able to travel that they insist that child-free people have kids just so the people who don't want kids can be miserable too.

Common things a breeder will say to a child-free person:

"You're being selfish"
"You'll change your mind"
"You're immature"
"You won't know true love until you have a baby"
"Motherhood/fatherhood is so rewarding"
"You're wasting your life"
"You'll regret not having a baby"
"You're lazy"
"Who will take care of you when you're old?"
"You're gonna die alone"

Every child-free person will encounter a breeder sooner or later. Whether it be a family member, friend, romantic partner, or even your doctor (OBGYNs are NOTORIOUS for trying to get their patients to have babies since they make a lot money off of pregnant patients and less from patients who want to be sterilized!). Remind the breeders that your life choices have no impact on your life, and that they're an asshole for being so rude to you.

by Failurebitch July 14, 2025

Bicycle bitch

A woman that's so skinny that she doesn't have an ass. Men say that when they hit it from behind, her ass feels like wood.

Afroman: "Why have a skinny bicycle bitch when I can ride a Cadillac?"

by Failurebitch February 21, 2025