Failurebitch's definitions
A form of bathing.
Why someone might take a shower:
1. They're visibly dirty
2. Decontamination after exposure to hazardous substances (chemicals🧪, IV chemo drugs💉, radiation ☢️, and biohazards☣️)
3. Temperature regulation (warming up if cold, or cooling down if hot)
4. They've been participating in outdoor activities (yard work or sports)
5. Calming down if stressed
6. Drowning out the sounds of crying if sad
7. Masturbate
8. Fuck
Things people do after a shower:
1. Dry off
2. Get dressed or put on pajamas depending on what time of day it is
3. Get ready for work
4. Go to bed
5. Fuck some more
6. Apply topical medications (ointments, creams, lotions, sprays, gels, foams, liniments, oils, transdermal patches)
7. Eat something
8. Put on makeup
9. Use a hairdryer
10. Shave
11. Brush teeth
12. Brush hair
Why someone might take a shower:
1. They're visibly dirty
2. Decontamination after exposure to hazardous substances (chemicals🧪, IV chemo drugs💉, radiation ☢️, and biohazards☣️)
3. Temperature regulation (warming up if cold, or cooling down if hot)
4. They've been participating in outdoor activities (yard work or sports)
5. Calming down if stressed
6. Drowning out the sounds of crying if sad
7. Masturbate
8. Fuck
Things people do after a shower:
1. Dry off
2. Get dressed or put on pajamas depending on what time of day it is
3. Get ready for work
4. Go to bed
5. Fuck some more
6. Apply topical medications (ointments, creams, lotions, sprays, gels, foams, liniments, oils, transdermal patches)
7. Eat something
8. Put on makeup
9. Use a hairdryer
10. Shave
11. Brush teeth
12. Brush hair
by Failurebitch July 11, 2023
Get the Shower mug.I love glitter.
by Failurebitch December 5, 2017
Get the Glitter mug.A hat made out of witch's skin with an asshole inside of it and is super cursed. Whoever wears ends up with bad luck.
It's a bloody stupid hat with a bloody stupid curse on it, and every time he wears it something bloody stupid terrible happens. I've tried throwing it away, but every time I do, it ends up crawling back, literally!
by Failurebitch November 29, 2022
Get the Bloody Stupid Hat mug.One of the reasons why some people choose to remain virgins for life. Raising children is very expensive, stressful, and frustrating, leaving the parents drained physically, psychologically, and financially. If a couple has 1, they have to put their life on hold for 18 years and 9 months so the child can grow up. If a couple decides to have multiple, their life could be put on hold for even longer depending on the age gaps and how many children they have. By the time the child/children reach adulthood, the couple is either middle aged or borderline elderly in most cases. In other cases, they could still have more after the first one turns 18 if the mom had the first one as a teenager.
I don't want children. Being pregnant, giving birth, cleaning up vomit/waste, middle of the night diaper changes/feeding, putting life on hold, not being able to afford things, dealing with disrespectful teenagers, the tantrums, and letting life pass me by isn't for me. Fuck that. I want to travel and have a life.
by Failurebitch March 7, 2025
Get the Children mug.1. A six sided box that we all end up in
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
Barnabas Collins: There were so many women that had delicious blood in their veins last night! The sun's about to rise, so I better go downstairs and get in my coffin.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
by Failurebitch May 28, 2023
Get the Coffin mug.A guy named Danny who is known for drinking beer, cussing, being angry, and having tourettes syndrome. You can find him on YouTube.
Tourettes Guy: (affixing an outlet cover on to a wall) Aww yeah, the Macho Man's gonna eat your ass!!!
Tourettes Guy is so fucking hilarious!
Tourettes Guy is so fucking hilarious!
by Failurebitch July 12, 2023
Get the Tourettes Guy mug.For companies, they want DEI because they think it makes them look good and "inclusive", but in reality they're choosing inexperienced/undereducated employees instead of people who actually know what the fuck they're doing. Choosing someone who knows what they're doing, whether they have unique personal traits or not can save a life. DEI put people in danger and led to skilled workers being either underemployed/unemployed/settling for customer service out of deperation.
In Phineas and Ferb, DEI means: Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated, which has nothing to do with hiring standards, it's just a catchy name/jingle.
In Phineas and Ferb, DEI means: Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated, which has nothing to do with hiring standards, it's just a catchy name/jingle.
by Failurebitch June 4, 2025
Get the DEI mug.