Definitions by Failurebitch
Annoying kid
Usually whiny and entitled. Here's how to spot one:
Male: has a mullet, obsessed with dirt bikes and trucks, plays Fortnite 24/7, watches dirt bike videos on Tik-Tok, listens to shitty country music, wears under armour, and thinks he's cool because he's friends with the richest kids in his class.
Female: has long hair, uses Tik-Tok, has the latest iPhone, listens to Billie Elish, gets offended by everything, posts on Instagram about "being depressed", drinks Starbucks everyday, posts duck lip pictures on Snapchat, wears only Acrombe and Fitch, and only hangs out with the "popular girls"
Male: has a mullet, obsessed with dirt bikes and trucks, plays Fortnite 24/7, watches dirt bike videos on Tik-Tok, listens to shitty country music, wears under armour, and thinks he's cool because he's friends with the richest kids in his class.
Female: has long hair, uses Tik-Tok, has the latest iPhone, listens to Billie Elish, gets offended by everything, posts on Instagram about "being depressed", drinks Starbucks everyday, posts duck lip pictures on Snapchat, wears only Acrombe and Fitch, and only hangs out with the "popular girls"
Annoying kid by Failurebitch July 7, 2023
Tick Tock Crocodile
A crocodile that swallowed a clock, and makes a tick-tock sound. Captain Hook is afraid of said crocodile.
(tick tocking noise)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
Tick Tock Crocodile by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
Party
An event that consists of food, booze, lots of people (10 or more), music and fun. Usually parties are held to celebrate something, but they could even be thrown for no reason at all.
Party by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
Jellyfish Jam
A song that should be played at EVERY PARTY ON FULL BLAST where dancing is involved to get people out on the dance floor. It's also a song that people play on loop for 12 hours either after befriending a jellyfish, or if they're just hanging out with their pet.
Dude, I went to the wedding reception last night, and they played Jellyfish Jam on full blast! That party was off the fucking hook! I was already pretty drunk at that point, but after that, I drank some more, stumbled to my hotel room after the party was over, and passed out, not even bothering to take my dress off and put on my pajamas. God, I'm just super hungover right now.
Jellyfish Jam by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
Halloween
A kick ass holiday that's a ton of fun. People of all ages enjoy it and celebrate it unless they're lame or a scaredy cat.
Festivities usually kick off around 5:30 pm, which is when most adults get home from work if it's a weekday, and usually last until the early hours of the following morning unless the following morning is a weekday, in which case the festivities will end at midnight so working adults and school aged children can get some sleep. Costumes or festive t-shirts are normally worn, houses are decorated with an assortment of items designed to be scary, candy is passed out to children between the ages of 0 to 18, and alcohol is consumed en masse by teens and adults. Parties, pranks, and crime are commonplace depending on where you live. If dealing with people isn't your thing, just pour yourself something strong and watch a scary movie.
Common Halloween costumes:
Ghosts
Witches
Vampires
Zombies
Mummies
Skeletons
Werewolves
Jason Voorhees
Ghostface
Freddy Kruger
Micheal Myers
Leatherface
Festivities usually kick off around 5:30 pm, which is when most adults get home from work if it's a weekday, and usually last until the early hours of the following morning unless the following morning is a weekday, in which case the festivities will end at midnight so working adults and school aged children can get some sleep. Costumes or festive t-shirts are normally worn, houses are decorated with an assortment of items designed to be scary, candy is passed out to children between the ages of 0 to 18, and alcohol is consumed en masse by teens and adults. Parties, pranks, and crime are commonplace depending on where you live. If dealing with people isn't your thing, just pour yourself something strong and watch a scary movie.
Common Halloween costumes:
Ghosts
Witches
Vampires
Zombies
Mummies
Skeletons
Werewolves
Jason Voorhees
Ghostface
Freddy Kruger
Micheal Myers
Leatherface
Yeah, my boyfriend is dressing up as Dracula for Halloween, so I'm going to dress up as a vampire bride.
Halloween by Failurebitch June 22, 2023
Coffin
1. A six sided box that we all end up in
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
Barnabas Collins: There were so many women that had delicious blood in their veins last night! The sun's about to rise, so I better go downstairs and get in my coffin.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
Coffin by Failurebitch May 28, 2023
ass explosion
There are 10 things that can cause an ass explosion:
1. Laxatives
2. Food allergies/intolerances
3. Medication side effects
4. Oily/greasy food
5. Eating too much plant fiber
6. Infectious diseases/food poisoning
7. Exposure to certain toxins
8. Chronic gastrointestinal conditions (IBS for example)
9. An imbalance of gut bacteria
10. Over-eating
11. Hormonal fluctuations (females)
Generally, you can tell if an ass explosion is going to happen, symptoms include:
Gas
Gurgling in the lower abdomen
Pressure behind the asshole that feels like something solid is trying to get out
Bloating
Slight abdominal cramping
1. Laxatives
2. Food allergies/intolerances
3. Medication side effects
4. Oily/greasy food
5. Eating too much plant fiber
6. Infectious diseases/food poisoning
7. Exposure to certain toxins
8. Chronic gastrointestinal conditions (IBS for example)
9. An imbalance of gut bacteria
10. Over-eating
11. Hormonal fluctuations (females)
Generally, you can tell if an ass explosion is going to happen, symptoms include:
Gas
Gurgling in the lower abdomen
Pressure behind the asshole that feels like something solid is trying to get out
Bloating
Slight abdominal cramping
ass explosion by Failurebitch May 28, 2023