Failurebitch's definitions
by Failurebitch November 16, 2017
Get the dat boi mug.I love glitter.
by Failurebitch December 5, 2017
Get the Glitter mug.There are 10 things that can cause an ass explosion:
1. Laxatives
2. Food allergies/intolerances
3. Medication side effects
4. Oily/greasy food
5. Eating too much plant fiber
6. Infectious diseases/food poisoning
7. Exposure to certain toxins
8. Chronic gastrointestinal conditions (IBS for example)
9. An imbalance of gut bacteria
10. Over-eating
11. Hormonal fluctuations (females)
Generally, you can tell if an ass explosion is going to happen, symptoms include:
Gas
Gurgling in the lower abdomen
Pressure behind the asshole that feels like something solid is trying to get out
Bloating
Slight abdominal cramping
1. Laxatives
2. Food allergies/intolerances
3. Medication side effects
4. Oily/greasy food
5. Eating too much plant fiber
6. Infectious diseases/food poisoning
7. Exposure to certain toxins
8. Chronic gastrointestinal conditions (IBS for example)
9. An imbalance of gut bacteria
10. Over-eating
11. Hormonal fluctuations (females)
Generally, you can tell if an ass explosion is going to happen, symptoms include:
Gas
Gurgling in the lower abdomen
Pressure behind the asshole that feels like something solid is trying to get out
Bloating
Slight abdominal cramping
by Failurebitch May 28, 2023
Get the ass explosion mug.1. A six sided box that we all end up in
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
2. What vampires sleep in during the day after drinking blood all night
Barnabas Collins: There were so many women that had delicious blood in their veins last night! The sun's about to rise, so I better go downstairs and get in my coffin.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
Willie Loomis: Uhh... Barnabas, the sheriff was here earlier. He wanted to ask you about what happened to Sky Rumson.
Barnabas Collins: Ugh, of course. Can't tell the sheriff that I made that bastard shoot himself, so I'll just say he shot himself.
Julia Hoffmann: Barnabas, before you go downstairs, I need to tell you that you'll be receiving your final injection at just before dawn tomorrow.
Barnabas Collins: Very well. If the sheriff comes by later, tell him I'm not here, but he can come back tonight after dark.
by Failurebitch May 28, 2023
Get the Coffin mug.A kick ass holiday that's a ton of fun. People of all ages enjoy it and celebrate it unless they're lame or a scaredy cat.
Festivities usually kick off around 5:30 pm, which is when most adults get home from work if it's a weekday, and usually last until the early hours of the following morning unless the following morning is a weekday, in which case the festivities will end at midnight so working adults and school aged children can get some sleep. Costumes or festive t-shirts are normally worn, houses are decorated with an assortment of items designed to be scary, candy is passed out to children between the ages of 0 to 18, and alcohol is consumed en masse by teens and adults. Parties, pranks, and crime are commonplace depending on where you live. If dealing with people isn't your thing, just pour yourself something strong and watch a scary movie.
Common Halloween costumes:
Ghosts
Witches
Vampires
Zombies
Mummies
Skeletons
Werewolves
Jason Voorhees
Ghostface
Freddy Kruger
Micheal Myers
Leatherface
Festivities usually kick off around 5:30 pm, which is when most adults get home from work if it's a weekday, and usually last until the early hours of the following morning unless the following morning is a weekday, in which case the festivities will end at midnight so working adults and school aged children can get some sleep. Costumes or festive t-shirts are normally worn, houses are decorated with an assortment of items designed to be scary, candy is passed out to children between the ages of 0 to 18, and alcohol is consumed en masse by teens and adults. Parties, pranks, and crime are commonplace depending on where you live. If dealing with people isn't your thing, just pour yourself something strong and watch a scary movie.
Common Halloween costumes:
Ghosts
Witches
Vampires
Zombies
Mummies
Skeletons
Werewolves
Jason Voorhees
Ghostface
Freddy Kruger
Micheal Myers
Leatherface
Yeah, my boyfriend is dressing up as Dracula for Halloween, so I'm going to dress up as a vampire bride.
by Failurebitch June 22, 2023
Get the Halloween mug.A song that should be played at EVERY PARTY ON FULL BLAST where dancing is involved to get people out on the dance floor. It's also a song that people play on loop for 12 hours either after befriending a jellyfish, or if they're just hanging out with their pet.
Dude, I went to the wedding reception last night, and they played Jellyfish Jam on full blast! That party was off the fucking hook! I was already pretty drunk at that point, but after that, I drank some more, stumbled to my hotel room after the party was over, and passed out, not even bothering to take my dress off and put on my pajamas. God, I'm just super hungover right now.
by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
Get the Jellyfish Jam mug.