There are two types of femcels. One is nice, the other is toxic. Here's how to tell the difference:
Nice femcel: Is polite, doesn't get out much, might struggle financially/professionally (living with her parents after her 21st birthday, hard time finding a job where she fits her role), has a hard time making friends (generally doesn't like to bother people and might be shy/timid), is quiet, might have some form of autism, generally have depression, and blames herself for her problems. Generally average or slightly above average in appearence/intelligence This type is rare.
Toxic femcel: This is the most common type of femcel. They usually have short hair greasy hairt that's dyed bright colors, hate men simply for existing, blame the "patriarchy" for their personal problems instead of taking responsibility, they are VERY rude/entitled (so they act like Karens), have low IQs, smell bad (due to bad hygiene and their cats pissing/shitting everywhere), usually have 20 cats, never wear bras because they think bras somehow support the "patriarchy", and never get rid of that disgusting armpit hair or leg hair. They are generally below average to freakishly ugly when it comes to looks, and are incredibly dumb. Their personalities are atrocious.
Nice femcel: Is polite, doesn't get out much, might struggle financially/professionally (living with her parents after her 21st birthday, hard time finding a job where she fits her role), has a hard time making friends (generally doesn't like to bother people and might be shy/timid), is quiet, might have some form of autism, generally have depression, and blames herself for her problems. Generally average or slightly above average in appearence/intelligence This type is rare.
Toxic femcel: This is the most common type of femcel. They usually have short hair greasy hairt that's dyed bright colors, hate men simply for existing, blame the "patriarchy" for their personal problems instead of taking responsibility, they are VERY rude/entitled (so they act like Karens), have low IQs, smell bad (due to bad hygiene and their cats pissing/shitting everywhere), usually have 20 cats, never wear bras because they think bras somehow support the "patriarchy", and never get rid of that disgusting armpit hair or leg hair. They are generally below average to freakishly ugly when it comes to looks, and are incredibly dumb. Their personalities are atrocious.
Me: God, I must be a femcel, I still live with my parents at 22, can't find a job that sticks, and don't really have friends. It's all my fault.
Karen: You still live with your dad? I wish all men would fucking die!
Me: Go away Karen. The fact that you want all men to die is disgusting, plus you reek of cat piss, cat shit, sweat, used maxi pads, and a yeast infection, which is equally disgusting. Seriously, when was the last time you took a shower and did laundry?
Karen: Bathing and laundry were made up by the patriarchy! I haven't bathed or done laundry since I was 18!
Me: You mean to tell me that you haven't bathed or done laundry in almost a decade? How the actual fuck are you still alive and not dying of multiple infections?!?
Karen: Infections were made up by men so they had an excuse to objectify women!
Me: What the fuck kind of logic is that?
Karen: Stop asking me questions or I'm going to kick your ass!
Me: Really? I grew up as the only daughter and my parents had 4 sons. The fact that you think you can take me in a fight is hilarious!
Karen: Fuck you! (Tries to punch me)
Me: (Dodges, then knocks her out with one punch) Go fuck yourself.
Karen: You still live with your dad? I wish all men would fucking die!
Me: Go away Karen. The fact that you want all men to die is disgusting, plus you reek of cat piss, cat shit, sweat, used maxi pads, and a yeast infection, which is equally disgusting. Seriously, when was the last time you took a shower and did laundry?
Karen: Bathing and laundry were made up by the patriarchy! I haven't bathed or done laundry since I was 18!
Me: You mean to tell me that you haven't bathed or done laundry in almost a decade? How the actual fuck are you still alive and not dying of multiple infections?!?
Karen: Infections were made up by men so they had an excuse to objectify women!
Me: What the fuck kind of logic is that?
Karen: Stop asking me questions or I'm going to kick your ass!
Me: Really? I grew up as the only daughter and my parents had 4 sons. The fact that you think you can take me in a fight is hilarious!
Karen: Fuck you! (Tries to punch me)
Me: (Dodges, then knocks her out with one punch) Go fuck yourself.
by Failurebitch March 07, 2025
A crocodile that swallowed a clock, and makes a tick-tock sound. Captain Hook is afraid of said crocodile.
(tick tocking noise)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
Captain Hook: Shit! It's Tick Tock Crocodile!
Smee: Alright Mr. Crocodile, get out of here. Go on, shoo!!
Crocodile: (Crawls back into the water with a disappointed look on his face and swims away)
by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
The shittiest day of the year for me. People say that I'm beautiful all the time but how can I be so beautiful and single at the same time? Do people just say that I'm pretty to make me feel better about myself? I've been single my whole life (elementary school relationships don't count). This is a day where single girls like me feel ugly for not having a boyfriend. It's a day of mourning my loneliness and the death of my cousin. I'm making it my tradition to go up to my room and cry on this day because of how horrible I feel.
Valentine's Day fucking sucks. My cousin died on that day in 2016 and many others in 2018. I'm making it a tradition to cry in my room alone every year that I'm single. Fuck Valentine's Day! Cupid is an inaccurate bastard! Cupid can suck my non-existent dick.
by Failurebitch February 01, 2019
An event that consists of food, booze, lots of people (10 or more), music and fun. Usually parties are held to celebrate something, but they could even be thrown for no reason at all.
by Failurebitch June 23, 2023
A rich girl who wears designer outfits and fucks all the boys on every sports team at the school, fucking a different one every night. She usually bullies girls like me because I'm pale and dress in black most of the time. She's minipulitive, spoiled, mean, rude, and a terrible excuse for a human being. She's generally the main cause for female suicide, drug abuse, or alcohol addiction at her school. I'm lucky nobody at my school is like this. She also spreads lies about people she doesn't like, wears TOO MUCH makeup, gets plastic surgery/ Botox done every week to keep herself looking like a living Barbie while the rest of the girls look real, and she'll also bleach her hair and go to the tanning salon.
Me: (minding my own business)
Bitch: OMG, look at her, total fashion failure!
Me: (wearing more clothes than her) Have you looked in the mirror lately, because you look like a Cheeto with hardly any clothes on.
Bitch: You're wearing all that because you're fat.
Me: I'll have you know that I'm actually very slim and can kick your fucking bitch ass into next week you whore!
Bitch: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (slaps me)
Me: (stands up from sitting on the bench, punches her plastic surgened nose, breaking it, then kicks her chest, popping one of the breast implants)
Bitch: (attempts to punch me, tears streaming down her face, blood oozing from fake nose)
Me: (grabs fist, puts her in straight arm bar and breaks arm)
Bitch: ( screams in pain)
then the principle calls our parents, her parents file lawsuit, my parents praise me for self defense then proceed to win lawsuit.
Bitch: OMG, look at her, total fashion failure!
Me: (wearing more clothes than her) Have you looked in the mirror lately, because you look like a Cheeto with hardly any clothes on.
Bitch: You're wearing all that because you're fat.
Me: I'll have you know that I'm actually very slim and can kick your fucking bitch ass into next week you whore!
Bitch: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (slaps me)
Me: (stands up from sitting on the bench, punches her plastic surgened nose, breaking it, then kicks her chest, popping one of the breast implants)
Bitch: (attempts to punch me, tears streaming down her face, blood oozing from fake nose)
Me: (grabs fist, puts her in straight arm bar and breaks arm)
Bitch: ( screams in pain)
then the principle calls our parents, her parents file lawsuit, my parents praise me for self defense then proceed to win lawsuit.
by Failurebitch May 30, 2018
A place where it could go from fall, spring, summer, and winter all in a matter of hours. It could be freezing one minute, then super hot with a tornado the next. Winters are long and sometimes don't end until May. The state is also known for having a bitchy Karen as a governor at the moment, but that will no longer be the case with the governor election next year. The potholes in the roads and in parking lots are also a nightmare.
The beaches used to be very calm and spacious, but now the beaches (especially in the Grand Traverse area) are super crowded and are being invaded/ruined by tourists because of ABC New's stupid broadcast about the Sleeping Bear Dune's some time around 2010. Now locals can't enjoy the dunes like they used to.
Agriculture, mining, lumber, manufacturing, tourism, car manufacturing, and trade between Canada/other states on the Great Lakes make up the economy.
We also created celebrities like Eminem and Alice Cooper.
The beaches used to be very calm and spacious, but now the beaches (especially in the Grand Traverse area) are super crowded and are being invaded/ruined by tourists because of ABC New's stupid broadcast about the Sleeping Bear Dune's some time around 2010. Now locals can't enjoy the dunes like they used to.
Agriculture, mining, lumber, manufacturing, tourism, car manufacturing, and trade between Canada/other states on the Great Lakes make up the economy.
We also created celebrities like Eminem and Alice Cooper.
If you come to Michigan, don't leave trash on our beaches or change the landscape, it really pisses us off and you can be fined/end up in jail. Watch out for potholes as well, some are so big and deep that they can total your car. If you visit Frankenmuth, hit up Bronner's, it's the biggest Christmas store in the world! If you go into towns like Glen Arbor, Ann Arbor, Frankenmuth, or Traverse City, hit up the Cherry Republic, they have some gourmet shit that's all cherry based! Mackinac Island is the place you wanna go for a weekend of drinking, just be sure that if you get a hotel room on the mainland that you manage your time well so you can catch your boat! If you're near
Whitefish Bay on the beach, keep an eye out because you might see the ghost of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Whitefish Bay on the beach, keep an eye out because you might see the ghost of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
by Failurebitch June 03, 2025
A guy named Danny who is known for drinking beer, cussing, being angry, and having tourettes syndrome. You can find him on YouTube.
Tourettes Guy: (affixing an outlet cover on to a wall) Aww yeah, the Macho Man's gonna eat your ass!!!
Tourettes Guy is so fucking hilarious!
Tourettes Guy is so fucking hilarious!
by Failurebitch July 12, 2023