drew lock

Backup level quarterback who currently starts for the Denver Broncos. The only reason why he is the starter is because John Elway can’t draft quarterbacks.

I would love to have Drew Lock be my team’s backup quarterback

by EW! February 01, 2021

teddy bridgewater

Carolina Panthers quarterback who badly fucked up his knee before and currently plays scared as a result.

Teddy Bridgewater acts like my son who is afraid of the dark.

by EW! February 01, 2021

Reflectaphobia

That awkward moment you look into a mirror for the first time in months and physically seize in fear having forgotten what you looked like.

Person 1: "I jumped I was so scared, I mean I'm not that ugly am I?"
Person 2: "No, that's just the reflectaphobia settling in you silly poopsterbater"

by Ew! January 25, 2015

Pit Not The Palace

A song that NFL wide receiver Antonio Brown recorded after running away mid-game in his team’s game against the New York Jets.

Pit Not The Palace is a shitty song.

by EW! January 18, 2022

mike glennon

The best thing that ever happened to the Jacksonville Jaguars

Dad: Why are the Jags starting Mike Glennon over Gardner Minshew?
Me: They’re tanking for Trevor Lawrence.

by EW! February 01, 2021

Davis Mills

Current starting Qb for the Houston Texans who has the longest neck ever. He is the GOAT.

Davis Mills is a way better Qb than that creep Deshaun Watson

by EW! January 03, 2022

dwayne haskins

NFL draft bust who most recently played for the Washington Football Team. He would rather take selfies and go to strip clubs than spend the time it takes to be a great quarterback.

Dwayne Haskins is an example of what not to do.

by EW! February 01, 2021