Definitions by Ew!

mike glennon 

The best thing that ever happened to the Jacksonville Jaguars

Dad: Why are the Jags starting Mike Glennon over Gardner Minshew?
Me: They’re tanking for Trevor Lawrence.

mike glennon by EW! January 31, 2021

drew lock 

Backup level quarterback who currently starts for the Denver Broncos. The only reason why he is the starter is because John Elway can’t draft quarterbacks.

I would love to have Drew Lock be my team’s backup quarterback

drew lock by EW! January 31, 2021

derek carr

A mediocre quarterback for the Raiders that lacks the talent elevate his team. He also tends to cry and pout when his team is getting blown out; this is a common occurrence.

Derek Carr is not an NFL caliber qb

derek carr by EW! January 31, 2021

tua tagovailoa 

Shitty quarterback that currently plays for the miami dolphins. He is too much of a wuss to throw a deep ball; frequently throws for under 100 yards a game. Tua is the living definition of a “Checkdown Charlie.”

Tua Tagovailoa was a waste of a first round draft pick.

tua tagovailoa by EW! January 31, 2021

NVP 

The Nickelodeon Valuable Player (NVP) is someone who performed poorly, but gave everything they had.

Mitchell Trubisky’s best effort did not help the Bears win a playoff game, but he still won the game’s NVP award.

NVP by EW! January 23, 2021

Cock Lobbying 

When a woman uses her vagina to get what she wants, she influences the actions of men with sex. some believe a master of cock lobbying could get away with murder or even get rich.

Person 1: "I don't know why I keep buying things for Julie."
Person 2: "Oh bro, she's totally cock lobbying you."
Person 1: "No way dude!!"
Person 2: "Then why did you give her all your belongings?"
Person 1: "....... Oh shit.. I've been cock lobbied."

Cock Lobbying by Ew! January 24, 2015

Reflectaphobia 

That awkward moment you look into a mirror for the first time in months and physically seize in fear having forgotten what you looked like.

Person 1: "I jumped I was so scared, I mean I'm not that ugly am I?"
Person 2: "No, that's just the reflectaphobia settling in you silly poopsterbater"

Reflectaphobia by Ew! January 24, 2015