EW!'s definitions

earl thomas

He is a free agent (unemployed) NFL safety that used to be really good at what he did. He even won a Super Bowl and made some probowls n shit. Recently, he’s made the headlines for cheating on his wife and tag teaming girls with his brother. He also got cut by the Ravens because he couldn’t stop getting into fights with his teammates.

Earl Thomas pissed away a hall of fame career.

by EW! April 6, 2021

Pit Not The Palace

A song that NFL wide receiver Antonio Brown recorded after running away mid-game in his team’s game against the New York Jets.

Pit Not The Palace is a shitty song.

by EW! January 17, 2022

dwayne haskins

NFL draft bust who most recently played for the Washington Football Team. He would rather take selfies and go to strip clubs than spend the time it takes to be a great quarterback.

Dwayne Haskins is an example of what not to do.

by EW! January 31, 2021

Reflectaphobia

That awkward moment you look into a mirror for the first time in months and physically seize in fear having forgotten what you looked like.

Person 1: "I jumped I was so scared, I mean I'm not that ugly am I?"
Person 2: "No, that's just the reflectaphobia settling in you silly poopsterbater"

by Ew! January 24, 2015

teddy bridgewater

Carolina Panthers quarterback who badly fucked up his knee before and currently plays scared as a result.

Teddy Bridgewater acts like my son who is afraid of the dark.

by EW! January 31, 2021

chase claypool

The act of celebrating too hard before you finish the task at hand.

The Golden State Warriors pulled a Chase Claypool when they were up 3-1 in the 2016 NBA Finals

by EW! January 3, 2022

NVP

The Nickelodeon Valuable Player (NVP) is someone who performed poorly, but gave everything they had.

Mitchell Trubisky’s best effort did not help the Bears win a playoff game, but he still won the game’s NVP award.

by EW! January 23, 2021