Ew!'s definitions

teddy bridgewater

Carolina Panthers quarterback who badly fucked up his knee before and currently plays scared as a result.

Teddy Bridgewater acts like my son who is afraid of the dark.

by EW! January 31, 2021

drew lock

Backup level quarterback who currently starts for the Denver Broncos. The only reason why he is the starter is because John Elway can’t draft quarterbacks.

I would love to have Drew Lock be my team’s backup quarterback

by EW! January 31, 2021

earl thomas

He is a free agent (unemployed) NFL safety that used to be really good at what he did. He even won a Super Bowl and made some probowls n shit. Recently, he’s made the headlines for cheating on his wife and tag teaming girls with his brother. He also got cut by the Ravens because he couldn’t stop getting into fights with his teammates.

Earl Thomas pissed away a hall of fame career.

by EW! April 6, 2021

Pit Not The Palace

A song that NFL wide receiver Antonio Brown recorded after running away mid-game in his team’s game against the New York Jets.

Pit Not The Palace is a shitty song.

by EW! January 17, 2022

Davis Mills

Current starting Qb for the Houston Texans who has the longest neck ever. He is the GOAT.

Davis Mills is a way better Qb than that creep Deshaun Watson

by EW! January 3, 2022

NVP

The Nickelodeon Valuable Player (NVP) is someone who performed poorly, but gave everything they had.

Mitchell Trubisky’s best effort did not help the Bears win a playoff game, but he still won the game’s NVP award.

by EW! January 23, 2021

dwayne haskins

NFL draft bust who most recently played for the Washington Football Team. He would rather take selfies and go to strip clubs than spend the time it takes to be a great quarterback.

Dwayne Haskins is an example of what not to do.

by EW! January 31, 2021