Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Dry Wipe

The most satisfying wipe job performed for rectal cleansing post defecation. To dry wipe, one pinches a clean turd and the subsequent wiping of the ass results in the toilet paper being clean and "dry" and free of any fecal remnants.

Roger was already running late for work but he felt the urge to take a dump before embarking upon his long commute to the office. Fortunately for Roger and his high fiber diet, he was able to pinch off a clean loaf and was able to dry wipe thus saving him valuable time.

by Eaton Holgoode September 27, 2015

Kilauea Ass

An asshole that erupts with fiery, explosive, liquid shits. Rectal lava, if you will. Capable of destroying one’s bunghole and every toilet encountered.

Those wings were a mistake. I’ve had Kilauea Ass all day.

This flu is the worst. My bunghole looks like raw hamburger thanks to Kilauea Ass.

by Eaton Holgoode June 9, 2018

Wank-Stains

Stains of busted nuts from multiple wank sessions. Typically in the form of dried up nut. The kind your mom finds in the carpet, on bed sheets, in a gak towel or in a tube sock.

Mom: What is all this flakey, crusty stuff in your sock? This thing could stand on its own.

Son: It’s just my wank-stains. Don’t wash it. I like the rough feel.

Mom: You sound like your father.

by Eaton Holgoode January 5, 2018

Tuna in the Can

Engaging in sexual activity with a female in a public or private restroom and may include sex on the toilet.

Dan met a girl at the mall and after buying her a cookie and a smoothie, she agreed to a little tuna in the can.

by Eaton Holgoode December 1, 2015

Corn Puck

A hard round constipating turd. Induced by too much starch and not enough fiber in the diet.

I'll be back. I may be a while. I gotta work out a corn puck. Good luck. I had one the other day. Tore my ass up working that thing out.

by Eaton Holgoode March 8, 2017

Fistaroni

To receive a rough and rugged fisting of your anus from you partner, male or female, as a gesture of appreciation after you have taken them for a wonderful pasta dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant.

Joe: Hey Frank. How as you date with Susan last night? Did you take her to Gambino's?
Frank: Yea brother. It was great. Great wine. Great Pasta. She loves that place. Loves it so much that I got the old Fistaroni when I got home.

Joe: Sweet! At least the Lasagna won't clog you up this time.

by Eaton Holgoode May 14, 2015

Flanks

Soft, pink and silky smooth pussy lips.

Carl loved to go down on his girlfriend and suck on her wet, juicy Flanks.

by Eaton Holgoode April 20, 2015