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Dusty's Baby Powder's definitions

Communion Circuit

A workout done inside a chapel by Catholic priests. This was first done by SFC. Fr. Roger Stainglass when he's preaching a sermon. It mostly consists of three exercises called "God Squats", "Lord Lunges", and "Jehovah Jacks". Usually they are done in three or four rounds in quick succession. A circuit of this always ends by kneeling on the prayer bench and saying one Hail Mary before the next circuit begins. Stainy does this in the mornings before the early service. So if you want a religious workout that will really perk you, try a Communion Circuit - it can't hurt you! Stainy Stainglass said so!
Stainy: Hey Bryant, you feel like some exercise? Let's do our Communion Circuit. I need some stretches.

Bryant: Sure! Gotta have those warm up exercises now. I love these!

Stainy: Okay! First one, lets do some God Squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) Easy. Now hold it too long. Just stand there until it starts to burn.

Bryant: Wow! Good one. What's next?

Stainy: Next up is the Lord Lunge. You know how we priests kneel on one knee? You do that and then you quickly stand up again. That's the second part of a Communion Circuit. (he does a Lord Lunge to show Bryant)

Bryant: What's the third part?

Stainy: The Jehovah Jack. You jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. Then you jump down and pray a Hail Mary. And then the circuit starts all over again. Great workout, huh?

Bryant: Yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?

Stainy: Sure it is. The Saintly Stretches. Here, hold my hand. How, stretch all the way up into the sky. There sweetie. That's it. Communion Circuits rock, don't they?

Bryant: They sure do! They wake you up. I love doing these. They're better than Knee Mail!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 23, 2011
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Drabble Stand

An exercise done by Ralph Drabble after working in the yard. It is often accompanied by coaching his body parts as if he were actually talking to them. A wonderful way work off arthritis.
Ralph: Boy, I'm stiff. I've gotta do my Drabble Stand.

Ed: What's a Drabble Stand? Is that some sort of arthritis exercise?

Ralph: Yup, works great. Guaranteed relief.

Ed: Show me how, I've never tried it.

Ralph: (demonstrating) Come on, knee, you can do it!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 14, 2010
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Cop Coach

A mall cop that also coaches youth sports, especially their kids' soccer team. The most famous Cop Coach is Ralph Drabble who helps referee his son, Patrick's, soccer games. Cop Coaches are often criticized by their bad calls. But in the end a Cop Coach can be a sweet man. So next time you want a great game but you don't want to encroach, make friends with the ref, he just might be a Cop Coach!
Ralph: Great game, huh? Those boys were killing me. I was one worn out Cop Coach!

Liv: Cop Coach? What is that? Is that a cop that also coaches soccer?

Ralph: Sure, I coach my son, Patrick's, soccer team, The Varmits. He loves it! I never make bad calls on him.

Patrick: Yeah, Miss Liv, he's right. He never does make bad calls on me. He's one great coach!

Liv: Well, do you want me to help coach you, too? Me and my husband Ben could help.

Patrick: Yes, I don't need just a Cop Coach.

Liv: You are so sweet! See you at the next soccer game. Me and Grandpa Ben will be there with sweats on.

Patrick: Sweet! Cop Coaches rock!

Ralph: (blowing the coach whistle) You'd better move it, boy. You're gonna get glared!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 18, 2012
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Opalmercial

An infomercial starring Opal Crankshaft. It is most often for exercise equipment but also for cooking or other "granny" products. The word is a mix of infomercial and Opal. Opal can often be seen skipping up and down on the set praising the products. Her grandson, Nelson, loves to watch Opalmercials. So, if you're looking for something to do at 4:30 am (PDT), click on the PIN Network for an Opalmercial - they are cute!
Opal: Hey Nelson, there's an Opalmercial on the TV. Wanna watch it?

Nelson: Sure! But we'll probably have to skip it. Its not that good.

Opal: Skip it? Of course we can skip it. Watch this! (she starts skipping down the hall with the remote in her hand)

Earl: What are you watching? Is that an Opalmercial? That's pretty cool. You love these, don't you?

Nelson: Yes. I love Opalmercials. Especially because they've got Gramma in them.

Earl: Well, what's she selling? Thunderbrushes? I bet its Thunderbrush.

Opal: I heard that! (she skips back down the hall to Earl) Aren't Opalmercials cute? Now, brush me fifty! (she winks at Nelson and they start skipping around the room) Opalmercials rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 29, 2011
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Decatted

The act of getting a cat off your lap. This can be done in any number of ways, but the term usually refers to the use of a hearing aid turned up full volume as seen with Earl Pickles' cat, Muffin.
Muffin: (thinking to herself) Oh, Earl's lap, I'm going to jump up there and try to scratch him!

Earl: Stupid cat! Hey Clyde, get me my hearing aid!!!

Clyde: (yelling) What in the world for? Earl Pickles, are you crazy?

Earl: I'll show you what I mean. (turns up the hearing aid loud so it's squealing. Muffin jumps off his lap scared)

Clyde: (shocked) What on earth did you just do?

Earl: That, my friend, is the art of being Decatted!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 28, 2011
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Mudhen Fever

A disease held by all Toledo Mudhens Fans, moreso in the old timers. It is often caught by fans watching the old timer reunion games with class of 1945. Mudhen Fever is especially held by Ed Crankshaft, Dale 'Beanball' Bushka, Jefferson 'J.J.' Jacks, and Fred 'Dusty' Duncan.
Dale: (talking to the team) OK boys, we're almost ready to come out here.

Ed: (screaming) Yeah, Mudhen Fever time! I'd better start doing my Mudhen Bends.

Beanball: Mind if we all join you? We're all Mudhens here.

Dusty: Aye, yes, the magic of the Mudhen Fever. This is going to be a good game.

Dale: (on the P.A. system) Introducing the Toledo Mudhens class of 1945.

Nelson: Oh boy, this is going to be a good game. I get to see Grandpa Ed in his old Mudhen suit.

Beanball: You're right, who knows, you might get a signed ball by him. Bryant has one. (picks up the signed baseball and hands the ball to Nelson). See, 'Ed Crankshaft', best Toledo Mudhens pitcher ever!

Ed: (overhears Beanball and Nelson, the gang gets together and starts slapping Gunny Fives) Mudhen Silver, Mudhen Gold, you guys are young and we're all old! (as in a taunt to the other team, who is Rochester Red Wings class of 1972)

Nelson: Have a good game, Grandpa Ed. I'll be rooting for you.

Beanball, Dusy, J.J.: That's right, Nelson. He's not just A Mudhen, he's the BEST Mudhen!

(The game begins and no one is talking)
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 18, 2011
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Rocky Ralph

It's an alcoholic drink made with Rocky Road ice cream and Bailey's Irish Cream.
Ralph: "Hey, you thirsty? How 'bout a Rocky Ralph?"

Bryant: "Love one! Had a tough day."

Ralph: "I'm sorry. I know you love this."

Bryant: "Thanks. Better double up on the Bailey's; it was a really tough day!"

R+B slainte
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 9, 2010
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