Dusty's Baby Powder's definitions
A hard, intense workout created by SFC Roger "Stainy" Staneglass, chaplain of Camp Swampy army base in North Carolina. He created this to help him stay in shape between church sermons. All his other solider friends often join him in this.
Stainy: Uh oh, its 0500. I better do my Stainyrobics. (starts stretching himself) Sweet Mary, its a great day!
Orville: (seeing Stainy) Hey Stainy, what are you doing? Is that some sort of weird church workout?
Stainy: No, its just my Stainyrobics. This is kinda crazy, but I love it. Why don't you join me?
Orville: Sure! (starts doing jumping jacks trying to warm himself up)
Amos: (sees Stainy and Orville exercising) Wow! They're doing PT and they didn't invite me! Well, they're gonna get it now. (screaming) TEN HUT! At ease. Can I join you guys?
Stainy: Sure! Here, try pumping this a few times. (he hands Amos a big wooden cross) Just make believe you're Jesus trying to carry it, only its too heavy.
Amos: Whoah! My biceps are burning. I bet Martha would have a freak-out if she saw us doing this! What a Mother's Day present, I'll go home with some burning Brigadier biceps!!
Orville: (seeing Stainy) Hey Stainy, what are you doing? Is that some sort of weird church workout?
Stainy: No, its just my Stainyrobics. This is kinda crazy, but I love it. Why don't you join me?
Orville: Sure! (starts doing jumping jacks trying to warm himself up)
Amos: (sees Stainy and Orville exercising) Wow! They're doing PT and they didn't invite me! Well, they're gonna get it now. (screaming) TEN HUT! At ease. Can I join you guys?
Stainy: Sure! Here, try pumping this a few times. (he hands Amos a big wooden cross) Just make believe you're Jesus trying to carry it, only its too heavy.
Amos: Whoah! My biceps are burning. I bet Martha would have a freak-out if she saw us doing this! What a Mother's Day present, I'll go home with some burning Brigadier biceps!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder June 2, 2011
Get the Stainyrobics mug.A mix of the words 'relax' and 'Opal'. Used for when Opal Crankshaft relaxes on the couch when she's stressed out or seems sick. She once told her grandson, Nelson, she was our of sorts, but he didn't know what she meant.
Opal: I'm all out of sorts today. This is crazy. I think it's time to Opalax.
Myrtle: What do you mean? Opalax? Now, I know about relaxing. I used to be a massage therapist, you know?
Opal: It's a mix of the words 'relax' with my name. I use it when I stretch out on the couch. You know how us old women are!
Myrtle: That's wild. I never heard of it before. In Aiwa Beach, Hawaii where I'm from we never even think of Opalaxing. We do pineapple massage down there.
Opal: (shocked) Pineapple massage? Myrtle, what are you talking about?
Myrtle: Come on, sweetheart. Just try it. It'll relax you more than you ever thought. (takes crushed pineapple and starts rubbing it on Opal)
Opal: Oh yeah, this is creamy. I'm all Opalaxed now!
Myrtle: What do you mean? Opalax? Now, I know about relaxing. I used to be a massage therapist, you know?
Opal: It's a mix of the words 'relax' with my name. I use it when I stretch out on the couch. You know how us old women are!
Myrtle: That's wild. I never heard of it before. In Aiwa Beach, Hawaii where I'm from we never even think of Opalaxing. We do pineapple massage down there.
Opal: (shocked) Pineapple massage? Myrtle, what are you talking about?
Myrtle: Come on, sweetheart. Just try it. It'll relax you more than you ever thought. (takes crushed pineapple and starts rubbing it on Opal)
Opal: Oh yeah, this is creamy. I'm all Opalaxed now!
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 23, 2011
Get the Opalax mug.An intensely relaxing massage given by Ed Crankshaft to his family and friends. When he does it, they sigh in relief. Most notably given when one of his family or friends is stiff or tired at the end of the day. An Ed Massage is very soothing. It often includes the sea foam green lotion known as Edward Ocean. If you want something that won't take a lot of time, don't head for a massage parlor - try an Ed Massage. And remember, Ed Crankshaft sent you!
Pickles: Hey Ed, I'm so sore. Chasing Homer around the garden really took a lot out of me. Its rough being a cat.
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 26, 2011
Get the Ed Massage mug.A handshake used by Marine Corps soldiers. First invented by Gunnery Sergeant Beatrice Middleton in 1945. Done this way: first, slapping a high five; sliding the hand lower and giving a slightly lower five; closing of fist and tucking the thumb in; then bumping them while saying "Eagle, globe, and anchor"; then as the hand is pulled and shaken and "Away we go!" is said. Also, when the fives are given, "Up high" and "down low" are said as well.
Amos: Hey Sarge, there's a party down in the defac.
Orville: (confused, not knowing what Amos is saying) This crazy thing. What's this hand thing they're doing? Are they trying to show off?
Beatrice: No, it's the Gunny Five. I invented this. Let me show you how.
(Beatrice gives the Gunny Five to Amos. Amos passes the Gunny Five to Orville)
Beatrice: You do it that way, it's easy!
Martha: These men are going crazy. What's with all these fives? I want to learn how.
Beatrice: (demonstrating to Martha) Up high, down low, eagle, globe, and anchor, and away we go!
Martha: (yelling) That's funky. I'm going to have to teach all the soldiers that.
(Orville and Amos wink at each other then look at Martha and give the Gunny Five to Martha)
Orville: (confused, not knowing what Amos is saying) This crazy thing. What's this hand thing they're doing? Are they trying to show off?
Beatrice: No, it's the Gunny Five. I invented this. Let me show you how.
(Beatrice gives the Gunny Five to Amos. Amos passes the Gunny Five to Orville)
Beatrice: You do it that way, it's easy!
Martha: These men are going crazy. What's with all these fives? I want to learn how.
Beatrice: (demonstrating to Martha) Up high, down low, eagle, globe, and anchor, and away we go!
Martha: (yelling) That's funky. I'm going to have to teach all the soldiers that.
(Orville and Amos wink at each other then look at Martha and give the Gunny Five to Martha)
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 18, 2011
Get the Gunny Five mug.Ralph: "Hey, Ed! Up for a game of Drabbleball?"
Ed: "Why not? We'll use Bryant's old Crankshaft ball."
Ralph: "The ball needs to be softer. You don't want one of my Drabbleball shots bouncing off your head with a baseball!"
Beatrice: "Drabbleball my foot! What on earth are you talking about?"
Ed: "It's a mix of racquetball and tennis. You'll love it!"n
Ed: "Why not? We'll use Bryant's old Crankshaft ball."
Ralph: "The ball needs to be softer. You don't want one of my Drabbleball shots bouncing off your head with a baseball!"
Beatrice: "Drabbleball my foot! What on earth are you talking about?"
Ed: "It's a mix of racquetball and tennis. You'll love it!"n
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 3, 2010
Get the Drabbleball mug.A milk beverage made by Liv Hatley. Made by mixing fresh carrot in a glass of milk. Used to give energy to people before going running. Can also be made with many other vegetables. Was first made on December 22, 2011. This is delicious to drink before exercise or after them as well. If you want a drink that is smooth as silk try Liv Hatley's famous Carrot Milk.
Liv: Hey sweetie, do you feel like going running? I already stretched and did my warm ups. And I got a treat for you when you're done.
Ben: What is it? Its not carrot cake again?
Liv: No, even better! Its Carrot Milk! You just take a glass of milk and mix fresh carrots with it.
Ben: (takes off running) Oh sweet! This is going to be good.
Liv: It sure will! One of the best energy shakes you ever drank. And I know what I'm talking about. I've been coaching you for years. You are going to love this!
Ben: (jogs back to her) Whew! That was a workout-and-a-half. I need something creamy.
Liv: Here, drink this Carrot Milk. That's delicious! I'll try it out on the grandkids, too. They might love it.
Ben: (starts doing Hatley Squats) Wow! This stuff is silky. Carrot Milk rules!
Ben: What is it? Its not carrot cake again?
Liv: No, even better! Its Carrot Milk! You just take a glass of milk and mix fresh carrots with it.
Ben: (takes off running) Oh sweet! This is going to be good.
Liv: It sure will! One of the best energy shakes you ever drank. And I know what I'm talking about. I've been coaching you for years. You are going to love this!
Ben: (jogs back to her) Whew! That was a workout-and-a-half. I need something creamy.
Liv: Here, drink this Carrot Milk. That's delicious! I'll try it out on the grandkids, too. They might love it.
Ben: (starts doing Hatley Squats) Wow! This stuff is silky. Carrot Milk rules!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 27, 2011
Get the Carrot Milk mug.Being very easily frustrated as if by one's wife or husband. Used and named after Ralph and June Drabble.
Ralph was running on the treadmill when June walked by and accidentally unplugged the cord, causing Ralph to become extremely Drabbled.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 20, 2010
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