Dusty's Baby Powder's definitions
A hair gel commonly used by grandpas. Often their grandsons comment on how good their hair looks. It is often sold in jars with Ed Crankshaft's picture on them. He has been known to use it.
Nelson: (let's out a big wolf whistle) Whoah, boy! You're getting all gussied up. What's going on?
Ed: I'm fixing my hair. I'm going bowling with a bunch of the bus drivers. You know, your Uncle Rudy and your Aunt Lena and all them.
Nelson: Wow! What's that stuff all in your hair?
Ed: (starts laughing) That's my Grandpa Goo. Hey, wanna come with me? The gang's gonna flip when you use this.
Nelson: Nice! (bends his head down) Let's massage this into my mop!
Ed: (growling) That's the ticket! No grandpa is complete without a good hairdo. All you need is some Grandpa Goo!
Ed: I'm fixing my hair. I'm going bowling with a bunch of the bus drivers. You know, your Uncle Rudy and your Aunt Lena and all them.
Nelson: Wow! What's that stuff all in your hair?
Ed: (starts laughing) That's my Grandpa Goo. Hey, wanna come with me? The gang's gonna flip when you use this.
Nelson: Nice! (bends his head down) Let's massage this into my mop!
Ed: (growling) That's the ticket! No grandpa is complete without a good hairdo. All you need is some Grandpa Goo!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 12, 2011
Get the Grandpa Goo mug.A judo throw similar to the Horsey Hug done much the same way, e.g. wrapping the hands around the person's neck so you're hugging them. Then throwing the legs into the hug so the whole body is involved. This version of the throw was introduced by Mabel Motley, a character in a comic strip called "Motley's Crew" which no longer exists, 1976-2000. She has been known to use it on her husband, Mike.
Mabel: Whoah! I haven't done my judo in so long. I bet its time for a Motley Mash. (yelling for Mike) Mike, come here!
Mike: Hey! You're doing the Motley Mash, I see. Come on and give me a squeeze. (he hugs her with his legs)
Mabel: Wait, you didn't get your hands in there. Its not a Motley Mash yet. (she throws him) There!
Jim: Hey, I know judo. Can I play, too? (he picks Mabel up and throws her)
Mabel: Whoah, what a crush! You just gave me a Motley Mash. What belt are you at?
Jim: (laughing) 3rd kyu brown. I've been studying this for years. I do it on the Misses all the time. Man, me and wife Iris, we toss each other around like a rag doll. (yelling) Rear naked choke! (he throws Mike on the ground and does a rear naked choke)
Mabel: (screaming) This is one big judo bash, and it all started from the Motley Mash!
Mike: Hey! You're doing the Motley Mash, I see. Come on and give me a squeeze. (he hugs her with his legs)
Mabel: Wait, you didn't get your hands in there. Its not a Motley Mash yet. (she throws him) There!
Jim: Hey, I know judo. Can I play, too? (he picks Mabel up and throws her)
Mabel: Whoah, what a crush! You just gave me a Motley Mash. What belt are you at?
Jim: (laughing) 3rd kyu brown. I've been studying this for years. I do it on the Misses all the time. Man, me and wife Iris, we toss each other around like a rag doll. (yelling) Rear naked choke! (he throws Mike on the ground and does a rear naked choke)
Mabel: (screaming) This is one big judo bash, and it all started from the Motley Mash!
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 25, 2011
Get the Motley Mash mug.A circuit training program which combines exercise with massage. This was created by Major Martha Halftrack, US Army (Ret.). Usually done in the mornings before her husband, Amos, gets up. It is very comforting. So, if you want comfort without a barrage, go to Camp Swampy and get a Marty Massage.
Marty: Hey Bryant, you look tired, honey. What can I do to wake you up? (Suddenly snaps her hand) I know, how about a Marty Massage? You love those!
Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)
Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.
Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?
Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!
Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!
Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.
Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.
Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!
Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)
Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.
Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?
Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!
Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!
Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.
Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.
Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 1, 2011
Get the Marty Massage mug.A handshake used by Marine Corps soldiers. First invented by Gunnery Sergeant Beatrice Middleton in 1945. Done this way: first, slapping a high five; sliding the hand lower and giving a slightly lower five; closing of fist and tucking the thumb in; then bumping them while saying "Eagle, globe, and anchor"; then as the hand is pulled and shaken and "Away we go!" is said. Also, when the fives are given, "Up high" and "down low" are said as well.
Amos: Hey Sarge, there's a party down in the defac.
Orville: (confused, not knowing what Amos is saying) This crazy thing. What's this hand thing they're doing? Are they trying to show off?
Beatrice: No, it's the Gunny Five. I invented this. Let me show you how.
(Beatrice gives the Gunny Five to Amos. Amos passes the Gunny Five to Orville)
Beatrice: You do it that way, it's easy!
Martha: These men are going crazy. What's with all these fives? I want to learn how.
Beatrice: (demonstrating to Martha) Up high, down low, eagle, globe, and anchor, and away we go!
Martha: (yelling) That's funky. I'm going to have to teach all the soldiers that.
(Orville and Amos wink at each other then look at Martha and give the Gunny Five to Martha)
Orville: (confused, not knowing what Amos is saying) This crazy thing. What's this hand thing they're doing? Are they trying to show off?
Beatrice: No, it's the Gunny Five. I invented this. Let me show you how.
(Beatrice gives the Gunny Five to Amos. Amos passes the Gunny Five to Orville)
Beatrice: You do it that way, it's easy!
Martha: These men are going crazy. What's with all these fives? I want to learn how.
Beatrice: (demonstrating to Martha) Up high, down low, eagle, globe, and anchor, and away we go!
Martha: (yelling) That's funky. I'm going to have to teach all the soldiers that.
(Orville and Amos wink at each other then look at Martha and give the Gunny Five to Martha)
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 18, 2011
Get the Gunny Five mug.An intensely relaxing massage given by Ed Crankshaft to his family and friends. When he does it, they sigh in relief. Most notably given when one of his family or friends is stiff or tired at the end of the day. An Ed Massage is very soothing. It often includes the sea foam green lotion known as Edward Ocean. If you want something that won't take a lot of time, don't head for a massage parlor - try an Ed Massage. And remember, Ed Crankshaft sent you!
Pickles: Hey Ed, I'm so sore. Chasing Homer around the garden really took a lot out of me. Its rough being a cat.
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 26, 2011
Get the Ed Massage mug.Ralph: "Hey, you thirsty? How 'bout a Rocky Ralph?"
Bryant: "Love one! Had a tough day."
Ralph: "I'm sorry. I know you love this."
Bryant: "Thanks. Better double up on the Bailey's; it was a really tough day!"
R+B slainte
Bryant: "Love one! Had a tough day."
Ralph: "I'm sorry. I know you love this."
Bryant: "Thanks. Better double up on the Bailey's; it was a really tough day!"
R+B slainte
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 9, 2010
Get the Rocky Ralph mug.A disease held by all Toledo Mudhens Fans, moreso in the old timers. It is often caught by fans watching the old timer reunion games with class of 1945. Mudhen Fever is especially held by Ed Crankshaft, Dale 'Beanball' Bushka, Jefferson 'J.J.' Jacks, and Fred 'Dusty' Duncan.
Dale: (talking to the team) OK boys, we're almost ready to come out here.
Ed: (screaming) Yeah, Mudhen Fever time! I'd better start doing my Mudhen Bends.
Beanball: Mind if we all join you? We're all Mudhens here.
Dusty: Aye, yes, the magic of the Mudhen Fever. This is going to be a good game.
Dale: (on the P.A. system) Introducing the Toledo Mudhens class of 1945.
Nelson: Oh boy, this is going to be a good game. I get to see Grandpa Ed in his old Mudhen suit.
Beanball: You're right, who knows, you might get a signed ball by him. Bryant has one. (picks up the signed baseball and hands the ball to Nelson). See, 'Ed Crankshaft', best Toledo Mudhens pitcher ever!
Ed: (overhears Beanball and Nelson, the gang gets together and starts slapping Gunny Fives) Mudhen Silver, Mudhen Gold, you guys are young and we're all old! (as in a taunt to the other team, who is Rochester Red Wings class of 1972)
Nelson: Have a good game, Grandpa Ed. I'll be rooting for you.
Beanball, Dusy, J.J.: That's right, Nelson. He's not just A Mudhen, he's the BEST Mudhen!
(The game begins and no one is talking)
Ed: (screaming) Yeah, Mudhen Fever time! I'd better start doing my Mudhen Bends.
Beanball: Mind if we all join you? We're all Mudhens here.
Dusty: Aye, yes, the magic of the Mudhen Fever. This is going to be a good game.
Dale: (on the P.A. system) Introducing the Toledo Mudhens class of 1945.
Nelson: Oh boy, this is going to be a good game. I get to see Grandpa Ed in his old Mudhen suit.
Beanball: You're right, who knows, you might get a signed ball by him. Bryant has one. (picks up the signed baseball and hands the ball to Nelson). See, 'Ed Crankshaft', best Toledo Mudhens pitcher ever!
Ed: (overhears Beanball and Nelson, the gang gets together and starts slapping Gunny Fives) Mudhen Silver, Mudhen Gold, you guys are young and we're all old! (as in a taunt to the other team, who is Rochester Red Wings class of 1972)
Nelson: Have a good game, Grandpa Ed. I'll be rooting for you.
Beanball, Dusy, J.J.: That's right, Nelson. He's not just A Mudhen, he's the BEST Mudhen!
(The game begins and no one is talking)
by Dusty's Baby Powder March 18, 2011
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