Definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder
Darter Downs
A very old football warm up exercise created by former Apopka High School football coach Morton "Bull" Grit. It is essentially a set of squats but spelling 'Darter" in between every rep. What's funny about this is that the letters are made from the body. So if you want an exercise that really gets around, try doing some Darter Downs. You will love it! They are so fun you'll be Dartin' through the mud.
Bull: Hey Bryant, you feel like some exercise? How about a round of Darter Downs?
Bryant: Darter Downs? I don't know what you're talking about.
Bull: (growling) Sure you do. We've done these hundreds of times. Remember, you squat and spell 'Darter'? You know, you use your body to spell it. Remember how fun they are? Come on, let's do a set!
Amos: Darter Downs? I'll bet you Laotian Kips you can't do 50 of them. (saluting) Ten HUT!
Bryant: You're on, you big brig! If only Grandma Marty could see this. (Bull and Bryant start doing Darter Downs) D-A-R-T-E-R. Grrrrrr!
Bull: (laughing at Bryant) He better pay up! He lost. You know, I was once stationed in Ventiane, the capital of Laos.
Bryant: (starts doing another Darter Down) Wow! These are so much fun. From Vero Beach to Ventiane, the Darter Down's got it going on.
Bull: High wing! These rock!
Amos: You've sold me. Here's your Kips.
Bryant: Darter Downs? I don't know what you're talking about.
Bull: (growling) Sure you do. We've done these hundreds of times. Remember, you squat and spell 'Darter'? You know, you use your body to spell it. Remember how fun they are? Come on, let's do a set!
Amos: Darter Downs? I'll bet you Laotian Kips you can't do 50 of them. (saluting) Ten HUT!
Bryant: You're on, you big brig! If only Grandma Marty could see this. (Bull and Bryant start doing Darter Downs) D-A-R-T-E-R. Grrrrrr!
Bull: (laughing at Bryant) He better pay up! He lost. You know, I was once stationed in Ventiane, the capital of Laos.
Bryant: (starts doing another Darter Down) Wow! These are so much fun. From Vero Beach to Ventiane, the Darter Down's got it going on.
Bull: High wing! These rock!
Amos: You've sold me. Here's your Kips.
Darter Downs by Dusty's Baby Powder November 11, 2011
Drabble Stomp
A back massage done by Ralph Drabble. Done by lying the receiver on their stomach and then stepping onto their back. Then asking them to arch up against your foot. It also helps if the back is walked on. A Drabble Stomp is one of the nicest ways to get a massage. It can be done if a Drabble Stand has not worked. So if you want to relax but your back wants to romp, soothe that sacrum with a Drabble Stomp!
Bryant: Hey guys, I need a Drabble Stomp, bad! My back hurts something crazy.
June: No problem, honey. Did you try a Drabble Stand?
Bryant: Yes, but it didn't work. (groans in pain) Oh boy, this is awful.
Ralph: Here, I'll Drabble Stomp you. (he stomps Bryant in the middle of his back) Now, stretch up against my foot. That's it, easy.
Bull: Hey, what's that? Is that some sort of weird massage? You know, my back's crazy hurting! How do you do this?
June: (saying as if she were a P.E. coach) Hit the deck! I'll show you how we do it. (she steps on Bull's back) Now, arch your back up against my foot. See? You 'stomp' your foot in the middle of the other person's back, and they arch up against your foot so that the back is stretched. That's how you do a Drabble Stomp.
Bull: Awesome! The guys at Apopka High would have loved this. I'll have to try it on some of my old boys sometime. Maybe Morris Middleton.
Ralph: Yeah, he'd love it. Drabble Stomps rule!
June: No problem, honey. Did you try a Drabble Stand?
Bryant: Yes, but it didn't work. (groans in pain) Oh boy, this is awful.
Ralph: Here, I'll Drabble Stomp you. (he stomps Bryant in the middle of his back) Now, stretch up against my foot. That's it, easy.
Bull: Hey, what's that? Is that some sort of weird massage? You know, my back's crazy hurting! How do you do this?
June: (saying as if she were a P.E. coach) Hit the deck! I'll show you how we do it. (she steps on Bull's back) Now, arch your back up against my foot. See? You 'stomp' your foot in the middle of the other person's back, and they arch up against your foot so that the back is stretched. That's how you do a Drabble Stomp.
Bull: Awesome! The guys at Apopka High would have loved this. I'll have to try it on some of my old boys sometime. Maybe Morris Middleton.
Ralph: Yeah, he'd love it. Drabble Stomps rule!
Drabble Stomp by Dusty's Baby Powder November 10, 2011
Halftrack Fever
Intense love for Amos and Martha Halftrack. Shown most notably by Bryant Hollifield. One major symptom of Halftrack Fever is going crazy when Marty is seen in a bathrobe or when Amos wears his uniform. This is an intense disease. The only way it can be cured is loving them even more.
Marty: Have a nice day, dear. Hope you don't get Halftrack Fever!
Amos: Oh, put your robe on. I've already got Halftrack Fever.
Marty: (kisses Amos) I know. You've had it for 53 years. There's something about me you love.
Bryant: Its the robe. He loves it when you wear that thing! Even I do. See, there's magic in that thing.
Amos: Yes, you definitely have Halftrack Fever. You can't get enough of Grandma Marty in that robe. Or me in my army suit here. (he leaves)
Bryant: Hey, you want to get all cuddly? This Halftrack Fever is really working now.
Marty: Sure! We'll cuddle all day, honey. Amos is completely gone now. (she kisses Bryant) There's just something about me and you that I love. And its not just the robe. Its the Halftrack Fever. Gooey, sweet, cuddly. You rock!
Amos: Oh, put your robe on. I've already got Halftrack Fever.
Marty: (kisses Amos) I know. You've had it for 53 years. There's something about me you love.
Bryant: Its the robe. He loves it when you wear that thing! Even I do. See, there's magic in that thing.
Amos: Yes, you definitely have Halftrack Fever. You can't get enough of Grandma Marty in that robe. Or me in my army suit here. (he leaves)
Bryant: Hey, you want to get all cuddly? This Halftrack Fever is really working now.
Marty: Sure! We'll cuddle all day, honey. Amos is completely gone now. (she kisses Bryant) There's just something about me and you that I love. And its not just the robe. Its the Halftrack Fever. Gooey, sweet, cuddly. You rock!
Halftrack Fever by Dusty's Baby Powder November 2, 2011
Dirty Birdie
A dance done at Camp Swampy by Major Randy "Birdie" Burk. Mostly done after a winning golf game. He will stamp his feet into the dirt, peck at the ground like a chicken, and wave his hands in the air. Similar to the Dirty Bird fan move. So if you want to stay out until about 12:30 play golf with Birdie Burk and learn the Dirty Birdie!
Birdie: Yes, I beat you good, Halftrack! (jumps up and down in excitement) Dirty Birdie, take that! (starts doing the Dirty Birdie)
Amos: Yeah, you beat me all right. What's this dance you're doing? Is that the Dirty Bird? (he starts following what Birdie's doing)
Birdie: No. Its not the Dirty Bird, its the Dirty Birdie. Its a dance that I do every time I win a golf game. You stamp your feet, peck like a chicken, and then do the Dirty Bird. Beetle Bailey fans will love it.
Amos: Sweet! This is a great new dance. When we get back I'm going to show it to Marty. We'll be doing the Dirty Birdie all the way down.
Birdie: Oh yes! The Dirty Birdie rules! Its a sweet move. It doesn't hurty when you do the Dirty Birdie!
Amos: Sweet! (they high five each other and stamp their feet)
Amos: Yeah, you beat me all right. What's this dance you're doing? Is that the Dirty Bird? (he starts following what Birdie's doing)
Birdie: No. Its not the Dirty Bird, its the Dirty Birdie. Its a dance that I do every time I win a golf game. You stamp your feet, peck like a chicken, and then do the Dirty Bird. Beetle Bailey fans will love it.
Amos: Sweet! This is a great new dance. When we get back I'm going to show it to Marty. We'll be doing the Dirty Birdie all the way down.
Birdie: Oh yes! The Dirty Birdie rules! Its a sweet move. It doesn't hurty when you do the Dirty Birdie!
Amos: Sweet! (they high five each other and stamp their feet)
Dirty Birdie by Dusty's Baby Powder October 29, 2011
Halftrackeen
A holiday celebrated at Camp Swampy, NC by the soldiers there. Very similar to Halloween, but is a funny day when Amos Halftrack falls sick. When asked to wear masks the staff wear Halloween masks as opposed to surgical masks. Amos does not find this amusing and his wife, Marty, even said it looks silly. The first Halftrackeen was on May 22, 2011 after a flu epidemic had broken out. It is so silly but be careful, you may get sick!
Amos: Oh no, another cold epidemic. I bet its Halftrackeen.
Marty: Yeah, you're right. Its a big one. The whole base must be in on it.
Amos: (puts on a surgical mask) I'll go see what's up with all this. Do you want to come?
Marty: No, I got a date with Bridie. We're going to play some tennis.
Amos: Okay. See you later, sweetie! (he throws her a kiss through the mask. He gets to the office and Sheila is in there)
Sheila: Boo! Its Halftrackeen so I thought I would wear my devil mask. Cute, huh?
Amos: Silly! This is not supposed to be fun. This is serious.
Sheila: Oh, loosen up General. If you get sick we can always take you to Stainy. He knows what to do.
Amos: (laughs) He'll probably just rub us with some Mary Mud and pray the Hail Mary over us. Halftrackeen sure is fun! Even if we do get a little green.
Marty: Yeah, you're right. Its a big one. The whole base must be in on it.
Amos: (puts on a surgical mask) I'll go see what's up with all this. Do you want to come?
Marty: No, I got a date with Bridie. We're going to play some tennis.
Amos: Okay. See you later, sweetie! (he throws her a kiss through the mask. He gets to the office and Sheila is in there)
Sheila: Boo! Its Halftrackeen so I thought I would wear my devil mask. Cute, huh?
Amos: Silly! This is not supposed to be fun. This is serious.
Sheila: Oh, loosen up General. If you get sick we can always take you to Stainy. He knows what to do.
Amos: (laughs) He'll probably just rub us with some Mary Mud and pray the Hail Mary over us. Halftrackeen sure is fun! Even if we do get a little green.
Halftrackeen by Dusty's Baby Powder October 27, 2011
Ed Massage
An intensely relaxing massage given by Ed Crankshaft to his family and friends. When he does it, they sigh in relief. Most notably given when one of his family or friends is stiff or tired at the end of the day. An Ed Massage is very soothing. It often includes the sea foam green lotion known as Edward Ocean. If you want something that won't take a lot of time, don't head for a massage parlor - try an Ed Massage. And remember, Ed Crankshaft sent you!
Pickles: Hey Ed, I'm so sore. Chasing Homer around the garden really took a lot out of me. Its rough being a cat.
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
Ed: Well, that's no problem. How about an Ed Massage? (he takes a spoonful of the Edward Ocean) Here's comes the massage plane into the hangar! Zoom! (he starts Pickles' fur)
Pam: Oh no, I've been walking all day. Did I see you giving Pickles an Ed Massage? I need one too!
Ed: Okay, easy, easy now. This is going to be good. This is sweet. (he starts rubbing Pam's feet) You poor little chick. Daddy knows what to do.
Ed: (while sitting in front of the bonfire he feels a twinge in his back) Oh no, now I need an Ed Massage. Give me that Edward Ocean, would ya? (he rubs some onto his back) There! That's better. That felt good.
Pam: Do you want me to do all over? I mean, not just your feet, but whole body? I can do that if you want me to.
Ed: Sweet! My whole body feels rough. I haven't had an Ed Massage in days. I just need to warm up is all. Ed Massages rock! One of the best ways to relax after a hard day.
Pickles: Right on! Even an old mudcat like me would love an Ed Massage every now and then. High paw! (Pickles high fives Ed, scratching his hand) Ed Massage forever!
Ed Massage by Dusty's Baby Powder October 26, 2011
Marty Melt
A love exercise created by Martha Halftrack. Done by hugging someone then letting go and hugging them again. The constant hug and release motion is also a chest exercise. It is called a Marty Melt because when Marty hugs you, you melt into her. She uses this on her husband, Amos, and her favorite grandson, Bryant Hollifield.
Amos: Oh no, the guys at the party we're talking bad smack about me. I'm gonna get them. After all, I am a B.G., commander of Camp Swampy.
Marty: Whoah, dear. Easy there. I got an exercise that will have you loving them again. Its a Marty Melt. Come here and hug me, but then let go. And when you hug me, I mean SQUEEZE!
Amos: Sure, but how would squeezing on you get the guys to love me? You don't hug them.
Marty: (laughs) Well, its one way I show you love. Come on, Amos, we've been married 53 years. I've loved since the day I met you. (she hugs him hard)
Amos: (returns the hug) Whoah! That's a power hug right there. This is one sweet exercise! Maybe I should tell the other guys.
Bryant: Hey, are you two up to something sweet? Are you getting mushy on him? Let me at it!
Marty: Here, dear. Its your turn. You haven't tried the Marty Melt yet. Now, give Grandma Marty a big hug and don't let go until I say.
Bryant: (hugs Marty) Wow! That's a real burner. My chest is stinging.
Marty: Well, that's a Marty Melt. It really massages your heart. You go all gooey when you get one of these. I love it!
Bryant: Sweet and awesome! I'm gonna have to show Gunny Granny, she'd love it! The Marty Melt is hot!
Marty: Whoah, dear. Easy there. I got an exercise that will have you loving them again. Its a Marty Melt. Come here and hug me, but then let go. And when you hug me, I mean SQUEEZE!
Amos: Sure, but how would squeezing on you get the guys to love me? You don't hug them.
Marty: (laughs) Well, its one way I show you love. Come on, Amos, we've been married 53 years. I've loved since the day I met you. (she hugs him hard)
Amos: (returns the hug) Whoah! That's a power hug right there. This is one sweet exercise! Maybe I should tell the other guys.
Bryant: Hey, are you two up to something sweet? Are you getting mushy on him? Let me at it!
Marty: Here, dear. Its your turn. You haven't tried the Marty Melt yet. Now, give Grandma Marty a big hug and don't let go until I say.
Bryant: (hugs Marty) Wow! That's a real burner. My chest is stinging.
Marty: Well, that's a Marty Melt. It really massages your heart. You go all gooey when you get one of these. I love it!
Bryant: Sweet and awesome! I'm gonna have to show Gunny Granny, she'd love it! The Marty Melt is hot!
Marty Melt by Dusty's Baby Powder October 23, 2011