Downstrike's definitions
by Downstrike November 11, 2004
Get the Mountain Dew Code Red mug.To my phone company: You reassigned this phone number to me 6 months after you took it away from the deadbeat who didn't pay his phone bill. Why can't you understand that it's no longer his phone number? Just because you can't find him, is no cause to harass me!
Another person to his phone company: Of course I received your message that the replacement for my broken phone is ready to pick up - just as soon as I got the replacement phone and checked for messages.
Me to the Yellow Pages publisher: Of course I wanted to be listed in the yellow pages under my business name. You offered me a listing in the Yellow Pages because I'm listed as a business in the white pages didn't you? Do you see anyone else listed in the Yellow Pages by their personal name?
Another person to his phone company: Of course I received your message that the replacement for my broken phone is ready to pick up - just as soon as I got the replacement phone and checked for messages.
Me to the Yellow Pages publisher: Of course I wanted to be listed in the yellow pages under my business name. You offered me a listing in the Yellow Pages because I'm listed as a business in the white pages didn't you? Do you see anyone else listed in the Yellow Pages by their personal name?
by Downstrike November 11, 2004
Get the corporate mentality mug.Literal: Groovy is where the far out goes, man!
Colloquial: It's like, you know, so far out that it's in, and so like, in, you know, that it's far out, you dig? Like, it's so hot that it's cool, and it's so cool that it's hot! It like, makes you like to say like. I mean, it'll blow your mind, man!
Colloquial: It's like, you know, so far out that it's in, and so like, in, you know, that it's far out, you dig? Like, it's so hot that it's cool, and it's so cool that it's hot! It like, makes you like to say like. I mean, it'll blow your mind, man!
Hey, did you ever like, blow your mind, man? Try it, you'll like it! No way, man, you don't gotta get stoned to blow you mind. Just look at your hand, will you? No, I mean like really look at it. Like, you know it's been on your arm since forever, but you never really look at it. Check it out! It's so far out that it's like, groovy man!
by Downstrike October 15, 2004
Get the groovy mug.The process of recognizing and reacting to circumstances that are relevant to an event. It is taken so much for granted by humans that computers, and those who design them, seem stupid by comparison, when they fail to perform this process.
Some clues for making computers perform contextual cognition:
1. The more repeatedly the user strikes a particular keyboard key or clicks on an interface button before the computer performs the function assigned to that key or button, the more likely it is the user wants the computer to perform the function already, instead of what ever it's messing around with right now.
2. If the user continues repeatedly striking a particular keyboard key or clicking an interface button after the computer performed the function, this would be a good time to check and see whether the computer actually performed the function.
3. A user who clicks a window's title bar, while that window is in the background, doesn't want the window re-sized. He wants it to come to the foreground, and if he's done so several times, he's becoming impatient about it.
4. When a user repeats the same instruction to the computer that he gave several minutes ago, and the computer hasn't complied with it yet, the user doesn't need to be informed that two instances of that function cannot be performed at the same time. He simply needs to be reminded that he already gave that instruction. Better yet, since the computer has messed around so long that the user forgot that he already gave the instruction, this would be a good time to comply with it.
5. When an application window freezes up, its application is waiting for something else to happen. If the computer has enough resources to tell the user that the application is not responding, it has enough resources to determine what the application is waiting for and remind it to happen.
6. The user wants his typing and mouse clicks applied to the interface that was on the screen when he started typing or clicking, not to the window that popped up in front of it, so apply them to the intended interface and put back the work the user had in the popped-up window before the computer replaced it with the input meant for the previous window.
7. When the computer pops up an alert stating that a function aborted because the Internet connection has failed, and the alert only offers the choices to Work Offline and Try Again, and the user has tried several times to restore the Internet connection, don't wait until the user chooses "Try Again", to admit that the computer is already connected to the Internet. The user is waiting until the computer connects to the Internet before choosing "Try Again", because it would be senseless to try again without a connection to the Internet. It would also be nice if the computer identified which function aborted.
8. When the computer reconnects to the Internet after being disconnected, and the computer has enough awareness of that fact to react to it by alerting the user at that very moment that various functions failed due to the disconnection, then the computer has enough information that it could just as easily retry those functions at that time, instead of blathering at the user about it.
9. MyCrudSoft sWindles XP Procrastinal!!! What the heck do you mean, Keyboard failure Strike the F1 key to continue..."? Who do you think you are? MS-DOS 3.0? Grow up, already!
1. The more repeatedly the user strikes a particular keyboard key or clicks on an interface button before the computer performs the function assigned to that key or button, the more likely it is the user wants the computer to perform the function already, instead of what ever it's messing around with right now.
2. If the user continues repeatedly striking a particular keyboard key or clicking an interface button after the computer performed the function, this would be a good time to check and see whether the computer actually performed the function.
3. A user who clicks a window's title bar, while that window is in the background, doesn't want the window re-sized. He wants it to come to the foreground, and if he's done so several times, he's becoming impatient about it.
4. When a user repeats the same instruction to the computer that he gave several minutes ago, and the computer hasn't complied with it yet, the user doesn't need to be informed that two instances of that function cannot be performed at the same time. He simply needs to be reminded that he already gave that instruction. Better yet, since the computer has messed around so long that the user forgot that he already gave the instruction, this would be a good time to comply with it.
5. When an application window freezes up, its application is waiting for something else to happen. If the computer has enough resources to tell the user that the application is not responding, it has enough resources to determine what the application is waiting for and remind it to happen.
6. The user wants his typing and mouse clicks applied to the interface that was on the screen when he started typing or clicking, not to the window that popped up in front of it, so apply them to the intended interface and put back the work the user had in the popped-up window before the computer replaced it with the input meant for the previous window.
7. When the computer pops up an alert stating that a function aborted because the Internet connection has failed, and the alert only offers the choices to Work Offline and Try Again, and the user has tried several times to restore the Internet connection, don't wait until the user chooses "Try Again", to admit that the computer is already connected to the Internet. The user is waiting until the computer connects to the Internet before choosing "Try Again", because it would be senseless to try again without a connection to the Internet. It would also be nice if the computer identified which function aborted.
8. When the computer reconnects to the Internet after being disconnected, and the computer has enough awareness of that fact to react to it by alerting the user at that very moment that various functions failed due to the disconnection, then the computer has enough information that it could just as easily retry those functions at that time, instead of blathering at the user about it.
9. MyCrudSoft sWindles XP Procrastinal!!! What the heck do you mean, Keyboard failure Strike the F1 key to continue..."? Who do you think you are? MS-DOS 3.0? Grow up, already!
by Downstrike December 28, 2005
Get the Contextual Cognition mug.A popular euphemism for the most prevalently-used and virus-susceptible email client in the history of computing. See Outhouse Express for the correct term.
When I installed SP2, Outlook Express presumed to decide for me whether to download the images in my email.
by Downstrike October 3, 2004
Get the Outlook Express mug.Monotheistic followers of Jesus who:
1. Search for the truth instead searching for a belief that makes them feel good about themselves.
2. Serve God instead of themselves or their own desires.
3. Completely accept the Bible as the complete, authoritative source of information about God.
4. Take it upon themselves to be Christian rather than expect clerics to serve as proxy Christians for them.
5. Obey God's word because they love and respect God enough to obey Him, instead of working even harder to come up with excuses not to obey God.
6. Do not introduce man-made philosophies or pagan customs into their worship and pretend that they have something to do with Jesus.
7. Obey God rather than men when the two are in conflict.
8. Do not follow self-appointed prophets or messiahs.
1. Search for the truth instead searching for a belief that makes them feel good about themselves.
2. Serve God instead of themselves or their own desires.
3. Completely accept the Bible as the complete, authoritative source of information about God.
4. Take it upon themselves to be Christian rather than expect clerics to serve as proxy Christians for them.
5. Obey God's word because they love and respect God enough to obey Him, instead of working even harder to come up with excuses not to obey God.
6. Do not introduce man-made philosophies or pagan customs into their worship and pretend that they have something to do with Jesus.
7. Obey God rather than men when the two are in conflict.
8. Do not follow self-appointed prophets or messiahs.
I prefer honest pagans and Real True Christians to those who pretend that the fertility symbols of Easter, such as eggs, rabbits, and maidens dressed in white have something to do with Jesus.
by Downstrike May 24, 2004
Get the Real True Christians mug.An archaic car part that has been made mostly obsolete by tubeless tires. These days an inner tube is much more useful for floating on water, or for sledding on snow. It's a lot more fun that way too.
It's soft, inflated, donut-shaped, usually black, and frequently has patches glued to it where it had leaked.
Smaller versions may still be found in many bicycle tires.
It's soft, inflated, donut-shaped, usually black, and frequently has patches glued to it where it had leaked.
Smaller versions may still be found in many bicycle tires.
I was shocked when I took that tire off the rim, and found an inner tube inside it.
Watch out for the stem of that inner tube. If you break that part, there's no patching it, and it can leave a nasty scratch on your skin too.
Watch out for the stem of that inner tube. If you break that part, there's no patching it, and it can leave a nasty scratch on your skin too.
by Downstrike August 16, 2006
Get the inner tube mug.