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Dan Jewell's definitions

Vaginercise

To excercise the vaginal muscles, much like Kegal excercises, in order to de-loosify the yeast pouch.
After two months of grueling Vaginercises, Kelli's pussy was as tight as a butthole.
by Dan Jewell March 24, 2005
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take a shot in the mouth

To act like, or say that you indeed like or love the band Nickelback in order to bed a hottie of the opposite sex.
Slim: "Yo Dan, you see that fine piece of ass over there with the Nickelback shirt on."
Dan: "Yeah, I'd take a shot in the mouth in order to give her the rectal thermometer.
by Dan Jewell April 11, 2005
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Scianna

A large pickle, approximately seventeen to twenty-two inches in length
Wow, that's the largest scianna I've ever seen, do you have more where that came from.
by Dan Jewell October 4, 2003
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de-loosify

To make something feel tighter, such as a vagina, screws, orange juice lids and vaginas.
1. Slim Bavis made the big switch to Tropicana from Minute Maid Orange Juice, because he was unable to de-loosify the lid.

2. Dan Jewell's large member has pulverized many vaginas, causing them to resort to Vaginercises which in turn will de-loosify that nappy dugout.
by Dan Jewell March 24, 2005
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Luke, I am your father

The climax to a certain situation. Usaully preceded by the "Luke..."
1. In the Movie "Friday", the "Luke, I am your father" is when, Craig whoops Deebo's ass. Yeaahh!!!

2. The "Luke I am your father" of slim bavis's life, was giving the rectal thermometer to his favorite moped.
by Dan Jewell March 22, 2005
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moped

To hump a fat chick, out of desperation, fun or just straight being lupid.
Usually preceded by "riding a..."
My stupid friend Jim, always talks about two things, riding mopeds and playing with his elbia, which usually will impress a fat chick into the sex.
by Dan Jewell March 17, 2005
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pork squid

the act of sticking ones finger up an unsuspecting butthole
While re-tying her shoes, Kaela was pleasently surprised by a pork squid served sunny side up.
by Dan Jewell October 13, 2003
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