Bro, I went downtown faster than the A1, but then she hits me with a Bearded Spider and I'm all like, "WTF?"
by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025
Bro, I had like six liters of beer before we got to it. I had to go so bad, I accidentally became the Chicago Freestyle Bandit. I wonder if she'll want to see me again.
by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025
Bro, I hate to admit it, but she was my first time, and I accidentally pulled a full Cartesian Cesspit on her. I'm so ashamed.
by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025
When having sex outdoors in the cold and the male partner's ejaculate hits the ground and freezes solid.
Bro, we did it outside for like two hours, even though it was freezing. We left a huge Croatian Frost Patty out there. Maybe a few, actually. Better watch where you step!
by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025
When insufficient foreplay forces the man's member to skid dryly across a shaved nether region, resulting in rug burn.
Bro, I don't think she was too into me. We started fooling around, but she gave me a Saharan Skiing Accident. It's red as hell.
by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025
When a male "titty fucks" a girl, but applies hot sauce to his member first, either accidentally or on purpose. The resulting capsaicin-covered ejaculate hits her in the face and causes her to spit and choke violently.
Bro, we had a Thai dinner before getting to the action. I ended up titty fucking her, but I guess I didn't wash my hands after the meal, so she ended up with a Saskatoon Spitfire.
by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025
When a male partner climaxes in his partner’s throat and the partner chokes on the ejaculate, proceeding to cough violently, spewing gobs all over the place.
by Curtis Claymore April 15, 2025