Dead Stream

A Dead Stream is a funeral service, burial or cremation being captured and viewed remotely using video. It can also be applied to any other activity involving death, such as embalming or even the dressing and makeup applied to a corpse.
Most of us stay at home and Dead Stream Aunt Millie's funeral because they only allowed 5 people in the chapel.
by CrotchGourmet May 02, 2020
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Spear the Starfish

To Spear the Starfish, Starfish Spear someone, or Starfish Spearing is the act of inserting one's tongue in the starfish or anus of a partner, best done as a surprise when they are not expecting it. Beyond rimming and beyond merely starfish kissing, but actually inserting the tongue. Works best when you first relax the sphincter, perhaps by digital manipulation, so that it gapes, then pulling the ass cheeks apart as far as possible, allowing the entire tongue to slide in and out. For the partner with the tongue, if squeamish, give prior repeated enemas, porn movie style, until the liquid runs clear.

Not to be confused with a Starfish, which is a lifeless sex partner that just lays there like a starfish, or the opposite, the extremely active slut who takes five dicks simultaneously, like a 5-armed starfish, one each in the ass, vagina, mouth and one in each hand jerking off those two guys.
She never expected it, as I was flogging her on the spanking bench, her but cheeks spread wide, when I leaned in and deep to Spear the Starfish.
by CrotchGourmet March 15, 2022
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Auto Smell Pecker

Auto Smell Pecker is another name for the Auto Spell Checker function when it changes your typing or speech-to-text into hilarious unintended sexual references.
Mom's text asking if I wanted chicken fajitas for dinner. The damn Auto Smell Pecker asked if I wanted chicken vaginas.

Great news, Grandma is homosexual!!

Ohhhkay?

Homo Hot Lips
Hot Tulips
I'm getting fisted now
Frustrated now!! 😡
Grandma is H O M E
from H O S P I T A L
by CrotchGourmet May 28, 2022
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Digital Junk Mail

Any sort of unrequested email, text or other social media communication, especially sexually-oriented messages or containing pictures of genitalia on the internet. Abbreviated: DJM
Sending Digital Junk Mail turns your social media into anti-social media especially when it contains pictures of genitalia.
by CrotchGourmet December 17, 2022
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abilititty

The talent or skill of using ones breasts as a sales aid or to gain any desired goal.
She has the abilititty to get past any velvet rope in town.
by CrotchGourmet March 13, 2020
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Facial Frottage

Rubbing a dick on someone's face. Frottage means sexual rubbing. This is specifically facial sexual rubbing.
While he was giving her facial frottage, Debbie let her BF finally slip it between her lips.
by CrotchGourmet October 09, 2021
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Polynesia

Polynesia is the syndrome or state of forgetting, not being able to remember, all the (other) people you're fucking. It's a type of amnesia, caused by guilt feelings. It is often triggered by a comment from or the presence of a jealous lover or one that would prefer monogamy.
Tammy: "I heard you're with that blonde Teresa and also screwing that thot Trixie, are you?"
Tommy: "No, no, I'm only with you Tammy my love..."
Tammy: "What the hell, do you have Polynesia? Jill and Rachel saw you with both of them at a swingers party!!"
by CrotchGourmet July 26, 2023
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