CrotchGourmet's definitions

abilititty

The talent or skill of using ones breasts as a sales aid or to gain any desired goal.

She has the abilititty to get past any velvet rope in town.

by CrotchGourmet March 13, 2020

MOWD

1. (noun) Medium Old White Dick. The average size penis of an old white male.
2. (noun) Medium Old White Dick. An old white male who has an average size penis.
3. (verb) To fuck or be fucked by an old white male who has an average size penis.

I love me some MOWD
I'm just a petite young girl with Daddy issues that wants to get MOWD.

by CrotchGourmet October 12, 2020

Unjoyment

Unjoyment describes the activities and feelings of watching screens for many hours per day, or doing some other activity that does not require real mental activity and involvement, because the watcher doesn't do things that create real joy and enjoyment. Video games, watching stuff, etc. has been the go to pass time of kids starting in the 1950s with the advent of the first black and white TVs and broadcasting networks. It's a mind trap in most cases because it dulls the brain insidiously and prevents you from having greater fun and enjoyment. In his 1964 pioneering study of media theory, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, Marshall McLuhan invented the now-ubiquitous the phrase, "the medium is the message", meaning the media itself is more important in its effects than the content it presents. His distinction between "hot media" and "cold media" proposes that the more all-inclusive the content, the less viewer participation, creativity and actual involvement is needed. He would then see a movie as the ultimate in hot media, completely enveloping the viewer in all senses, in a darkened room. Although he though TV to be a cold media, today's screens, including high definition, digital sound, ear buds, etc. seem just about as hot as a movie, and in fact movies are watched on cell phones.

Those kids may be out to dinner with their parents, but they're just sitting there with their phones in complete Unjoyment.

by CrotchGourmet July 29, 2022

subly

Acting in the manner of a sub or submissive in the context of BDSM.

Please accept my subly admiration.

by CrotchGourmet May 2, 2022

Domly

In the manner of a Dom, Domme, or dominant in a BDSM context. Most often used as an adjective modifying Dom or as a compound word with Dom, as in Domly Dom. The opposite of subly.

He strode into the room with his coiled bullwhip and commanding Domly presence.

by CrotchGourmet May 2, 2022

Auto Smell Pecker

Auto Smell Pecker is another name for the Auto Spell Checker function when it changes your typing or speech-to-text into hilarious unintended sexual references.

Mom's text asking if I wanted chicken fajitas for dinner. The damn Auto Smell Pecker asked if I wanted chicken vaginas.

Great news, Grandma is homosexual!!

Ohhhkay?

Homo Hot Lips
Hot Tulips
I'm getting fisted now
Frustrated now!! 😡
Grandma is H O M E
from H O S P I T A L

by CrotchGourmet May 28, 2022

Spear the Starfish

To Spear the Starfish, Starfish Spear someone, or Starfish Spearing is the act of inserting one's tongue in the starfish or anus of a partner, best done as a surprise when they are not expecting it. Beyond rimming and beyond merely starfish kissing, but actually inserting the tongue. Works best when you first relax the sphincter, perhaps by digital manipulation, so that it gapes, then pulling the ass cheeks apart as far as possible, allowing the entire tongue to slide in and out. For the partner with the tongue, if squeamish, give prior repeated enemas, porn movie style, until the liquid runs clear.

Not to be confused with a Starfish, which is a lifeless sex partner that just lays there like a starfish, or the opposite, the extremely active slut who takes five dicks simultaneously, like a 5-armed starfish, one each in the ass, vagina, mouth and one in each hand jerking off those two guys.

She never expected it, as I was flogging her on the spanking bench, her but cheeks spread wide, when I leaned in and deep to Spear the Starfish.

by CrotchGourmet March 15, 2022