Clarebear81's definitions

carnal footprint

A measure of one's sexual activity and its impact.

John tended to avoid sex on a Sunday in an attempt to off-set his carnal footprint.

by Clarebear81 April 6, 2011

diary tennis

The tedious practice of trying to find a mutually viable date for a meeting between two busy people.

Nick is free on thursday at 3pm
That's no good for Neil. How about Friday at 4pm
No chance. Nick has family time scheduled
Uh oh, this is turning into the usual game of diary tennis.

by clarebear81 April 2, 2011

tanented

To be extremely proficient at getting an enviable suntan at the first hint of decent weather.

Jay had only been on the beach for 3 days with moderate sun exposure, but already his skin colour gave the impression that he'd been in Hawaii for a month. He was an extremely tanented sunbather.

by Clarebear81 March 28, 2011

smutphone

A smartphone used primarily for looking up porn and sending suggestive texts.

Jez is such a creep! Look at the message he just sent me from his smutphone!!

by Clarebear81 March 5, 2011

cell phone

An electronic device that imprisons you.

John wasn't granted access to his wife and kids. He had been sentenced to a life long-career with a cell phone.

by Clarebear81 March 2, 2011

pull a wifey

To withdraw early from a social event, citing domestic commitments as the cause. Derived from the common expression 'pull a whitey' used to describe those who crash out after drink/drugs.

Ever since he got married, Simon has been known to pull a wifey on several occasions, leaving the pub and all his friends mid-session, saying he has to get back to the missus.

by Clarebear81 March 2, 2011

Whitechapel jetlag

A condition commonly suffered after excessive partying, named after London's most hedonistic district. The effect is reminiscent of the effects of long distance air travel, whereby your body no longer has any concept of what time of day or night it really is.

Cassie was struggling on on Sunday. After Friday's drinks got a bit out of hand, she had a serious case of Whitechapel jetlag and still isn't completely sure what day it is.

by Clarebear81 January 9, 2011