A majestic chaos goblin with flowing locks that move like they’re in a shampoo commercial—especially while human back riding (his favorite mode of transportation).
Khristian is 51% into Minecraft, 48% into pickles, and 1% away from switching teams entirely. No one’s sure if he’s flirting, roleplaying, or just really passionate about pegging, but somehow it all blends into his mysterious charm.
Gender? Fluid. Hair? Glorious. Boundaries? Blurry. He’s the kind of person who’ll build a Minecraft mansion while spoon-feeding you pickle slices and asking deep questions like, “Would you still love me if I was a villager?”
Khristian is 51% into Minecraft, 48% into pickles, and 1% away from switching teams entirely. No one’s sure if he’s flirting, roleplaying, or just really passionate about pegging, but somehow it all blends into his mysterious charm.
Gender? Fluid. Hair? Glorious. Boundaries? Blurry. He’s the kind of person who’ll build a Minecraft mansion while spoon-feeding you pickle slices and asking deep questions like, “Would you still love me if I was a villager?”
“Khristian just rode in on someone’s back, tossed his hair, and asked if I wanted to be the Steve to his Enderman. I don’t even know what that means.”
by Chrispeecream June 08, 2025
A walking contradiction with a Ram truck, a golf obsession, and the spelling skills of a broken Etch A Sketch. Bryson proudly drives a Ram over a Ford—not for performance, but because he’s a few brain cells short of a group project.
Known for popping out kids like it’s a competitive sport—some say he’s trying to build a football team, others say he just forgets what birth control is. Loves golf but thinks “par” is just short for “party,” and he’s definitely addicted to alcohol but claims he just “likes the taste of bad decisions.”
Gambles not to win, but for the thrill of losing, and laughs at things that aren’t funny like it’s a personality trait. Possibly unwell, definitely entertaining.
Known for popping out kids like it’s a competitive sport—some say he’s trying to build a football team, others say he just forgets what birth control is. Loves golf but thinks “par” is just short for “party,” and he’s definitely addicted to alcohol but claims he just “likes the taste of bad decisions.”
Gambles not to win, but for the thrill of losing, and laughs at things that aren’t funny like it’s a personality trait. Possibly unwell, definitely entertaining.
“Bryson just triple-bogeyed, cracked a beer at 9 AM, and laughed for five minutes at a street sign that said ‘Dickerson.’ I’m worried… but also not surprised.”
by Chrispeecream June 08, 2025
A short king with tall energy. Bryan speaks like he’s 6’4”, but reality keeps him closer to the Earth—probably for spiritual grounding. Highly intelligent, suspiciously wise, and always one emotional spark away from launching into a passionate TED Talk no one asked for. Basically, a modern-day Napoleon who’s into chakras.
Bryan is constantly talking about “the energies”—whether it’s the vibe in the room, the full moon, or why your third eye is blocked from eating too many Hot Cheetos. He might be small in stature, but he’s big on sage, opinions, and dramatic exits.
Bryan is constantly talking about “the energies”—whether it’s the vibe in the room, the full moon, or why your third eye is blocked from eating too many Hot Cheetos. He might be small in stature, but he’s big on sage, opinions, and dramatic exits.
“Bryan walked in, said the energy was off, dropped a quote from Lao Tzu, and left. Didn’t even grab his coffee. Classic Bryan.”
by Chrispeecream June 08, 2025
A short king with tall energy. Bryan speaks like he’s 6’4”, but reality keeps him at fun-sized. Highly intelligent, weirdly wise, and always two steps ahead—usually in an argument he started. Thinks deeply, feels strongly, and yells occasionally… like a philosophical Napoleon with a Wi-Fi connection.
Despite his height, Bryan walks into every room like he’s ducking under a doorway—compensating hard but making it work. He’ll give you life advice while standing on a step stool, and you’ll still somehow take it seriously.
Despite his height, Bryan walks into every room like he’s ducking under a doorway—compensating hard but making it work. He’ll give you life advice while standing on a step stool, and you’ll still somehow take it seriously.
by Chrispeecream June 08, 2025
A walking heart-throb with the soul of a poet. Morrissa is the perfect storm of beauty, brains, and kindness. She turns heads without even trying think model-level looks with an effortlessly magnetic vibe. But it’s not just her appearance that makes people fall for her; it’s the way she genuinely listens, how her laughter feels like a warm hug, and the sparkle in her eyes when she’s talking about something she loves. Sweet as honey, sharp as a whip, and thoughtful to her core Morrissa is the kind of woman who makes you believe in magic.
by Chrispeecream June 05, 2025
1. A mischievous basement-dwelling troll who survives off pizza rolls, energy drinks, and pure chaos. Known for farting at the worst possible moments—like during group photos or first dates—but somehow gets away with it because her dance moves are fire.
2. Often seen breakdancing in fuzzy socks with zero shame, Kyndi is equal parts gremlin and groove queen. Beware if you hear a bass drop and a suspicious rumble… that’s just Kyndi making an entrance.
2. Often seen breakdancing in fuzzy socks with zero shame, Kyndi is equal parts gremlin and groove queen. Beware if you hear a bass drop and a suspicious rumble… that’s just Kyndi making an entrance.
“Bro, the power went out and the house smelled weird. I think Kyndi’s back.”
“Yeah but did you see her moonwalk? Worth it.”
“Yeah but did you see her moonwalk? Worth it.”
by Chrispeecream June 06, 2025