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Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

emo

An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:

1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)
2. Guy finds out, so he listens to faggy emo music and dresses like a dork so chicks will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".
3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo chick and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)
4. Emo guy is just too much of a pussy. His penis is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo chick, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo chick dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the school jock and captain of the football team.
5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write a weak song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo chick sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and the cycle continues.

This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!
When she sees how sensitive and emo I have become, she'll definately go out with me!
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 16, 2006
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Staind

A band whose songs all sound the fucking same. Plagued with filler-tracks. Staind, along with Puddle of Mudd and Nickelback, is a mediocre nu-metal band that contributes to the mundane sound of today's rock music. Boycott this crap.
I hope Staind's new album will be as good as the last one... wait, of course it will be, because it'll be the same thing again!
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004
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tool

There are several defining traits of a tool; if one or more of these characteristics apply to you, then you are a tool.

1. You often feel used by your "friends", who usually make fun of you to both to your face and behind your back, but act polite if you have something they want. Of course, because you're desperate to be accepted, you give it to them.

2. You buy into whatever trend seems in at the moment because you have no identity or sense of pride. If you're emo, pass out at parties after 4 drinks to show off to people that you're drunk, or wear a pink shirt with the collar popped in a vain attempt to appear "secure with your masculinity", then you're a tool and haven't realized it yet.

3. You listen to Tool and think they are the pinnacle of musical talent because they call themselves "prog", but are actually boring and mediocre.
Go back to your toolboxes, you poseurs.
by Chernorizets Hrabr December 28, 2005
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Blacktooth

Slang for bluetooth device, derived from its popularity amongst the black community as the newest form of tacky, high-tech "bling". Insecure negroes who want to put on an air of importance wear them when not necessary (i.e. any time not spent driving), even when nobody calls them all day. When they do, however, they will talk loudly in public whilst flailing their limbs about to demonstrate the wonder of wireless technology and the money they spent avoiding child support payments.
"Leeroy should take off that blacktooth device; he looks like a tool and nobody is impressed."
by Chernorizets Hrabr June 23, 2008
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Ganondorf

Semi-famous villain from the Nintendo 64 adventure, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. Ganondorf has an exceptionally unique case of unibrow, in which his eyebrows connect clearly with his hair, thus forming one very long eyebrow. This puts the typical unibrow (one that connects in the middle of one's face above the nose) to shame.
Ganondorf was one of the most easily-defeated bosses in the history of video games.
by Chernorizets Hrabr October 5, 2004
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Jersey Redneck

There are more Jersey Rednecks than you once believed!

Jersey rednecks typically dwell in backwood areas within Philadelphian surburbs, where there is still plenty of rural land for the blue collar folk. Almost every Jersey redneck owns a chevy pickup truck, which they park in their "driveway", which is not really a driveway but an area of their lawn in which grass isn't growing. Their front yards are home to various appliances and vehicles that no longer function, somehow finding their way there. Jersey rednecks love Marlboro cigarettes (because Newports are for "negroes" and Camels are for "A-rabs"), Skoal, Budweiser, Natural Ice and especially Keystone. The origins of their slow southern accent is mysterious, though speculation reveals that it is probably from listening to too much Lynyrd Skynyrd. Instead of "you guys" they will say "youz guys", and "tuh'marry" instead of "tomorrow". The Jersey redneck's idea of a dream vacation is a week-long trip to Wildwood.
No one thought hicks lived so far north until the Jersey redneck was discovered.
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 6, 2004
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Heineken

Shitty overrated Dutch beer that is always bitter and skunky, no matter how old it is, much like Stella Artois.
Americans: Unless it's from the UK or Bulgaria, don't drink imported beer.
by Chernorizets Hrabr November 22, 2004
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