Chernorizets Hrabr's definitions

tool

There are several defining traits of a tool; if one or more of these characteristics apply to you, then you are a tool.

1. You often feel used by your "friends", who usually make fun of you to both to your face and behind your back, but act polite if you have something they want. Of course, because you're desperate to be accepted, you give it to them.

2. You buy into whatever trend seems in at the moment because you have no identity or sense of pride. If you're emo, pass out at parties after 4 drinks to show off to people that you're drunk, or wear a pink shirt with the collar popped in a vain attempt to appear "secure with your masculinity", then you're a tool and haven't realized it yet.

3. You listen to Tool and think they are the pinnacle of musical talent because they call themselves "prog", but are actually boring and mediocre.

Go back to your toolboxes, you poseurs.

by Chernorizets Hrabr December 28, 2005

Ralph Nader

The guy that my fellow Americans should have voted for, but apparently they don't have enough common sense to see what kind of damage is being done to our country by the divisive two-party system. An honest and real candidate who cares about domestic concerns that Bush and Kerry seem to have forgotten about in favor of fear-mongering, focusing on the so-called "threat" of terrorism.

Ralph has my vote, no matter the odds!

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

ORLANDO BLOOM

Someone that none of you fat, ugly, ditzy schoolgirls will ever have a chance with. If I were him I'd carry that bow around to fend you losers off. Leave the poor guy alone.

Orlando Bloom can do 200x better than you and he will.

by Chernorizets Hrabr July 6, 2004

Clear Eyes

God's gift to stoners, delivered to us by Ben Stein. It gets the red out, so people think you're sober, but your friends know better! Also comes in small, easy-to-shoplift packaging so you can save some extra money for more hydro.

I tell people that the reason I keep Clear Eyes around is because typing essays on the computer irritates my eyes.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 2, 2004

Independent

The only logical future for American politics. Will occur when people realize you don't have to vote for "the lesser of two evils", because you can always choose someone who isn't evil at all.

It's a basic concept called "compromise" benefiting everyone, and it can be achieved by voting independent.

by Chernorizets Hrabr November 5, 2004

Aragorn

Aragorn, son of Arathorn (quite possibly the coolest name ever) is the rightful heir to the throne of Gondor in J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" series. He is one of the Dunedain, a subrace of humans blessed with long life. Aragorn is 87 years old when he takes the throne, but he looks like he's about 33. That's how cool he is. In fact, all the chicks love Aragorn more than Legolas. This is scientific proof that Viggo Mortensen, who played Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, is cooler than Orlando Bloom. Aragorn also smokes weed, though just about every character in the story does except pussy Frodo. It is widely believed that Aragorn is the coolest guy in Middle Earth, especially because he got with Liv Tyler.

Every man in the world who knows who Aragorn is wishes to be him.

by Chernorizets Hrabr August 20, 2004

Ganondorf

Semi-famous villain from the Nintendo 64 adventure, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. Ganondorf has an exceptionally unique case of unibrow, in which his eyebrows connect clearly with his hair, thus forming one very long eyebrow. This puts the typical unibrow (one that connects in the middle of one's face above the nose) to shame.

Ganondorf was one of the most easily-defeated bosses in the history of video games.

by Chernorizets Hrabr October 5, 2004