Author's definitions

Ted Stevens

Shamefully ignorant and criminally insane, Ted Stevens is an Alaska senator. Too old to understand things, Ted Stevens thought the Internet was a "series of tubes." Also tried to build a $200mil bridge to a property he owned. Set phazers to steal.

Ted Stevens: aka "A series of Teds" and "The Pork King"

by author September 1, 2006

the canary

Someone that you let go first to make sure it is safe. Used sometimes by video-gamers. For instance, when the canary gets killed, springs the trap, takes the fall etc, it will tell you where the dangers/enemies are. Origin: coal miners used to keep a canary in the mine, when it died they knew there was poison gas.

Looks dangerous in there, let the canary go first.

by author December 9, 2008

Bum

US/Canada
1. Pejorative for a homeless person, - especially one that makes no attempt to work or better himself (contrasted with the more respected working homeless “hobos”). Probably comes from the expression “lazy bums.”
Get a job you F’ing bum.

2. To shamelessly ask for something (in the manner of a bum – see above).
Dude can I bum a cigarette, five dollars, and a ride to the…

3. A loser with nothing going for him (no job, no aspirations etc). Especially an unworthy husband or boyfriend.
I can’t believe she’s with Jim. Always drinking, never workin, the guy is a bum.

UK/Commonwealth:
4. The more polite way of saying ass.
Does my bum look big in this?

5. To do in the bum.
I bummed a tart.

Afganistan
6. Bum is a major city in Afganistan.

I bummed a ride to Bum where I bummed a bum in his bum.

by author December 9, 2008

Megawatts

A doctor prescribed bath to treat heterosexuality in which the person affected soaks in warm water while ten litres of boiled semen is poured over their head.

That person smells like they just had a megawatts or two.

by Author March 7, 2003

sport utility vehicle

A terrorist fundraiser on wheels. A machine that turns large amounts of the world's bloodiest conflict commodity into a poison gas so fat-rich people can get from their televisions to their sedentary jobs without having to stand up.

When filling your sport utility vehicle and watching the numbers on the pump go up, somewhere the same thing is happening to a terrorist's bank account. Stop buying these things you vain, insecure little twats.

by author October 14, 2006

Tom Delay

Former house majority leader; resigned in disgrace. A criminally insane political prostitute with no conscience. Tom Delay is known to give handjobs to lobbyists for wooden nickels.

Tom Delay says: I'll jerk you off for a cheeseburger and a trip to St. Andrews.

by author July 16, 2006

NeoCon Jihad

A term that refers to the NeoConservative Jihad.

Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfailed are the architects of the NeoCon Jihad.

by author June 21, 2006