author's definitions

Irish plague

Irish plague: alcoholism

My granny died of the Irish plague.

by author September 28, 2006

hodeez

(1)|noun great person;
(2)|adj. synonymous to attractive/sexy;

(1) He looks just like hodeez!
(2) Damn, he's so hodeez.

by author January 27, 2004

SUV

Sport utility vehicle. A terrorist fundraiser on wheels. A machine that turns large amounts of the world's bloodiest conflict commodity into a poison gas so fat-rich people can get from their televisions to their sedentary jobs without having to stand up.

When filling your SUV and watching the numbers on the pump go up, somewhere the same thing is happening to a terrorist's bank account. Stop buying these things you vain, insecure little twats.

by author October 14, 2006

Devil's water

Devil's water - alcohol

while under the influence of the devil's water...

by author December 10, 2006

Ted Stevens

Shamefully ignorant and criminally insane, Ted Stevens is an Alaska senator. Too old to understand things, Ted Stevens thought the Internet was a "series of tubes." Also tried to build a $200mil bridge to a property he owned. Set phazers to steal.

Ted Stevens: aka "A series of Teds" and "The Pork King"

by author September 1, 2006

canary

Someone that you let go first to make sure it is safe. Used sometimes by video-gamers. For instance, when the canary gets killed, springs the trap, takes the fall etc, it will tell you where the dangers/enemies are. Origin: coal miners used to keep a canary in the mine, when it died they knew there was poison gas.

Looks dangerous in there, let the canary go first.

by author January 1, 2007

Dick Cheney

An oily, whorefaced, bean-stealing enemy of the people. Dick Cheney completed the long-rumored merger of Halliburton and the Whitehouse. Under Dick Cheney’s guidance Halliburton became a de facto government agency, overseeing policy decisions as well as spending billions in public funds. Dick Cheney also shot a senior citizen in the face, while poaching quail, at a canned hunt (after drinking). He was then taken off the NRA Christmas card list.

Which feeble oligarch attempted to throw a pitch at a Nationals’ game but was too weak to make it over the plate?
A. Montgomery Burns
B. Dick Cheney

The answer is B.

by Author June 17, 2006