30 definitions by author

A doctor prescribed bath to treat heterosexuality in which the person affected soaks in warm water while ten litres of boiled semen is poured over their head.
That person smells like they just had a megawatts or two.
by author March 7, 2003
An oily, whorefaced, bean-stealing enemy of the people. Dick Cheney completed the long-rumored merger of Halliburton and the Whitehouse. Under Dick Cheney’s guidance Halliburton became a de facto government agency, overseeing policy decisions as well as spending billions in public funds. Dick Cheney also shot a senior citizen in the face, while poaching quail, at a canned hunt (after drinking). He was then taken off the NRA Christmas card list.
Which feeble oligarch attempted to throw a pitch at a Nationals’ game but was too weak to make it over the plate?
A. Montgomery Burns
B. Dick Cheney

The answer is B.
by author June 14, 2006
Shamefully ignorant and criminally insane, Ted Stevens is an Alaska senator. Too old to understand things, Ted Stevens thought the Internet was a "series of tubes." Also tried to build a $200mil bridge to a property he owned. Set phazers to steal.
Ted Stevens: aka "A series of Teds" and "The Pork King"
by author September 1, 2006
The "can" is an inferior fighter or player (often an unknown or one with a poor record) that is set against the favorite solely for the purpose of losing and making the latter look good. Comeback fights are often against cans.
I'm not going to bother watching the Crocop fight, he's up against some can and it's only going to last 30 seconds.
by author February 2, 2007
Former house majority leader; resigned in disgrace. A criminally insane political prostitute with no conscience. Tom Delay is known to give handjobs to lobbyists for wooden nickels.
Tom Delay says: I'll jerk you off for a cheeseburger and a trip to St. Andrews.
by author July 16, 2006
Friend of Tom: a Scientologist.
I heard that dude is a friend of Tom.
Yeah, it's creepy.
by author June 25, 2006