author's definitions

Operation Iraqi Liberation

What the US government was calling the Iraq War before they realized the title was more appropriate than it should have been (Operation Iraqi Liberation – O.I.L.). This is not an urban legend made up by leftists; check the official whitehouse press release:

www.whitehouse.gov/news/rele ases/2003/03/20030324-4.html
(delete space in "releases")

Operation Iraqi Liberation liberated something, but it wasn't Iraqis (it was O.I.L.).

by author August 2, 2006

SUV

Sport utility vehicle. A terrorist fundraiser on wheels. A machine that turns large amounts of the world's bloodiest conflict commodity into a poison gas so fat-rich people can get from their televisions to their sedentary jobs without having to stand up.

When filling your SUV and watching the numbers on the pump go up, somewhere the same thing is happening to a terrorist's bank account. Stop buying these things you vain, insecure little twats.

by author October 14, 2006

Dick Cheney

An oily, whorefaced, bean-stealing enemy of the people. Dick Cheney completed the long-rumored merger of Halliburton and the Whitehouse. Under Dick Cheney’s guidance Halliburton became a de facto government agency, overseeing policy decisions as well as spending billions in public funds. Dick Cheney also shot a senior citizen in the face, while poaching quail, at a canned hunt (after drinking). He was then taken off the NRA Christmas card list.

Which feeble oligarch attempted to throw a pitch at a Nationals’ game but was too weak to make it over the plate?
A. Montgomery Burns
B. Dick Cheney

The answer is B.

by Author June 17, 2006

Devil's water

Devil's water - alcohol

while under the influence of the devil's water...

by author December 10, 2006

Bluenited States

The blue states (the west coast and northeast/upper midwest), which are anything but United with the red states of Jesuslandia.

The Bluenited States are not United with the Red States.

by Author June 29, 2006

Ted Stevens

Shamefully ignorant and criminally insane, Ted Stevens is an Alaska senator. Too old to understand things, Ted Stevens thought the Internet was a "series of tubes." Also tried to build a $200mil bridge to a property he owned. Set phazers to steal.

Ted Stevens: aka "A series of Teds" and "The Pork King"

by author September 1, 2006

hit the trees

To smoke pot (probably comes from the resemblance of buds to trees).

I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono.

by author September 19, 2006