7 definitions by AndrewC1995
The big gem of a school called Chryston High is planted in the middle of Chryston and Muirhead, near Glasgow in Scotland. Basically Hell in the educational form, with many types of people attending from the 'Popular Kids all the way down to the social retards. These pupils are noticeable in the area, normally wearing a blue and black tie, with the face of someone that has lost hope in it all. The locals will definitely notice this 'school' after the old building is demolished causing lost souls and demons to fly out from the haunted structure, with the new building soon to become a victim of this. Attending Chryston gives you an aura something similar to an acid trip, fused with a depressant. This school comes with a unique set of teachers, and by unique..I mean special, with about 80% of them being stir crazy and/or mentally delusional, with the extra 20 still in the 'real world.' You won't find another school like this one. Trust me, you really won't.
Example 1
Pupil: Sir! I've got a problem here!
Teacher: You are an excellent pupil of Chryston High School!
Pupil: I asked a question, sir?
Teacher: I will deal with you when I am ready!
Pupil: W T F
Example 2
Pupil: Sir, I don't get this
Teacher: J-just sit doon and get on wi' the hard sums
Pupil: But sir, you're meant to help me!
Teacher: What am I meant to dae? I'm no Harry Potter!
Pupil: ...
Example 3
Pupil: Sir?
Teacher: EVERYONE QUIET!!!!!!
Pupil: .....
Teacher: Good anger? Strong anger?
Pupil: Eh, what?
Example 4
Teacher: ....And that's why Daleks are real.
Pupil: Uhh sir, you're supposed to be teaching us the course.
Teacher: Quiet!! I was at the dentist the other day and he drilled a hole in my jaw.
Pupil: .......
Pupil: Sir! I've got a problem here!
Teacher: You are an excellent pupil of Chryston High School!
Pupil: I asked a question, sir?
Teacher: I will deal with you when I am ready!
Pupil: W T F
Example 2
Pupil: Sir, I don't get this
Teacher: J-just sit doon and get on wi' the hard sums
Pupil: But sir, you're meant to help me!
Teacher: What am I meant to dae? I'm no Harry Potter!
Pupil: ...
Example 3
Pupil: Sir?
Teacher: EVERYONE QUIET!!!!!!
Pupil: .....
Teacher: Good anger? Strong anger?
Pupil: Eh, what?
Example 4
Teacher: ....And that's why Daleks are real.
Pupil: Uhh sir, you're supposed to be teaching us the course.
Teacher: Quiet!! I was at the dentist the other day and he drilled a hole in my jaw.
Pupil: .......
by AndrewC1995 April 13, 2011
Someone who is unnaturally obsessed with taking information from Wikipedia, bores everyone else to death with it, and does not understand that about half of it is hypothetical bullshit.
To help them get their fix, allow these people to use the nearest computer. Proceed with caution.
To help them get their fix, allow these people to use the nearest computer. Proceed with caution.
Example
Person 1: Hey, did you know that that Germany only exists on the 57th of Decejuly? That's so cool!
Person 2: You're talking balls again, aren't you?
Person 1: ...you hurt my f-feelings..
Person 2: Damn Wikaddict...
Person 1: Hey, did you know that that Germany only exists on the 57th of Decejuly? That's so cool!
Person 2: You're talking balls again, aren't you?
Person 1: ...you hurt my f-feelings..
Person 2: Damn Wikaddict...
by AndrewC1995 April 18, 2011
Someone who rightly believes in the ways of Google, and that this megalomaniac of a search engine is the eden of knowledge, which forces them to effectively mindshag everybody with the crap they see on Google.
Person 1: Beware! The Playstation 4 is coming sooooon!
Person 2: What is he on about? The 3 came out last week!
Person 1: Beware of its brand new Dark Blu-Ray features!
Person 2: Oh dear God, he's a Google Preacher....
Person 2: What is he on about? The 3 came out last week!
Person 1: Beware of its brand new Dark Blu-Ray features!
Person 2: Oh dear God, he's a Google Preacher....
by AndrewC1995 April 17, 2011
When an object (Normally a mobile phone or laptop) has problems that another object of the same model does not have.
Person 1: My iPhone doesn't seem to have any problems at all!
Pearson 2: Really? Damn it! The battery on mine doesn't last long at all!
Person 1: That's naaasty. Yours definitely has Select Model Syndrome.
Person 2: Ahh crap.
Pearson 2: Really? Damn it! The battery on mine doesn't last long at all!
Person 1: That's naaasty. Yours definitely has Select Model Syndrome.
Person 2: Ahh crap.
by AndrewC1995 March 1, 2011
Ignore the previous definition of this place by me. I got bored and randomly pinpointed a place in Scotland to make fun of. I've never even been haha. I also made fun of two of my good friends from there, which was stupid. So anyhoo, here's the lovely truth about this grand wee town....
Strathaven is located down in South Lanarkshire, Scotland, just 23 miles from big bad Glasgow. It's got a bulky population of about 7,700 and was given the Royal Charter (Makes the town a special place) in 1450. It was a very popular place for industries, until Glasgow had to be as big and annoying as it is now and steal the business. But the wee Strathavenites carried on with their business. Even the Romans used this wee place as a market town before they got scared off by us wonderful (I mean barbaric) Scots. The town prospered in the 18th century and is still on the map surviving compared to other 'dying' Scottish towns being overrun with underage alcoholics and reprobates. It's a very nice place to live according to people I know and that some famous people from history have resided there (Probably all anonymous to everyone outside Scotland). But I suggest everyone go take a visit to this supposedly lovely burgh, but do try and avoid ugly East Kilbride on the way there! Unless you want to break your face whilst ice skating and firecrackers launched at you outside of Argos, but that's a different matter! Also, those two friends are amazing and I love them both.
Strathaven is located down in South Lanarkshire, Scotland, just 23 miles from big bad Glasgow. It's got a bulky population of about 7,700 and was given the Royal Charter (Makes the town a special place) in 1450. It was a very popular place for industries, until Glasgow had to be as big and annoying as it is now and steal the business. But the wee Strathavenites carried on with their business. Even the Romans used this wee place as a market town before they got scared off by us wonderful (I mean barbaric) Scots. The town prospered in the 18th century and is still on the map surviving compared to other 'dying' Scottish towns being overrun with underage alcoholics and reprobates. It's a very nice place to live according to people I know and that some famous people from history have resided there (Probably all anonymous to everyone outside Scotland). But I suggest everyone go take a visit to this supposedly lovely burgh, but do try and avoid ugly East Kilbride on the way there! Unless you want to break your face whilst ice skating and firecrackers launched at you outside of Argos, but that's a different matter! Also, those two friends are amazing and I love them both.
Person 1 - Hey dude, want to head Strathaven?
Person 2 - Sure! I don't want to break my face!
Person 3 - Hey, we should head to Strathaven later
Person 4 - You're right, that place has a lot going for it
Person 5 - STRATHAVEN IS AWESOME! BRING ON THAT AWESOMENESS! FEEL THAT AWESOMENESS!
Person 6 - ...
Person 2 - Sure! I don't want to break my face!
Person 3 - Hey, we should head to Strathaven later
Person 4 - You're right, that place has a lot going for it
Person 5 - STRATHAVEN IS AWESOME! BRING ON THAT AWESOMENESS! FEEL THAT AWESOMENESS!
Person 6 - ...
by AndrewC1995 July 29, 2011
Imaginary shanty town in Scotland just 8 miles south of South Lanarkshire Council's anus, East Kilbride. There is rumour of running water and decent housing for the citizens, but no 'normal' people have bothered to go and investigate. The people have an average IQ of 1.6 and are somewhat intimidating, with a high level of testosterone and aggression. On the streets of Strathaven, there is a high possibility of being stabbed in some way, but usually threats through social networks and phone calls come as a pre-warning. The town has a group of anti-social yobs , with approximately two members, aptly named by other villages, the 'Strathaven Young Team.' This said team is ruled by who people have named The Bull, out of encountering this vilified character. The Cow, who is The Bulls underling, is also recognised as a fearful icon.
Advice to anyone willing to travel to Strathaven:
- Do not wear red.
- Do not use words longer than 4 letters, or the local residents will undertake confusion.
- Do not bring any object that is younger than 20 years old, or this will also cause confusion.
- In all honesty, do not go at all unless you want to be bludgeoned by an unintelligent being.
- If you are willing to purchase any items in the area, the currency used locally is Monopoly Money.
- If you are willing to go to Hell early and not risk a merciless death, just dig a few metres in the centre of the town. You'll find it.
Advice to anyone willing to travel to Strathaven:
- Do not wear red.
- Do not use words longer than 4 letters, or the local residents will undertake confusion.
- Do not bring any object that is younger than 20 years old, or this will also cause confusion.
- In all honesty, do not go at all unless you want to be bludgeoned by an unintelligent being.
- If you are willing to purchase any items in the area, the currency used locally is Monopoly Money.
- If you are willing to go to Hell early and not risk a merciless death, just dig a few metres in the centre of the town. You'll find it.
Example 1
Person 1: Hey man, you want to go down to Strathaven later?
Person 2: Strathaven?! Holy Christ, are you feeling alright?
Person 1: Oh yeah, I heard it was forgotten by God..
Example 2
Person 3: Woohoo we're all going down to Strathaven later!
Person 4: I went to Strathaven once, how do you think I look like this?
Person 3: Holy shit on a cracker! That's naaasty! I think we'll pass on that trip to Strathaven!
Person 4: Damn right.
Person 1: Hey man, you want to go down to Strathaven later?
Person 2: Strathaven?! Holy Christ, are you feeling alright?
Person 1: Oh yeah, I heard it was forgotten by God..
Example 2
Person 3: Woohoo we're all going down to Strathaven later!
Person 4: I went to Strathaven once, how do you think I look like this?
Person 3: Holy shit on a cracker! That's naaasty! I think we'll pass on that trip to Strathaven!
Person 4: Damn right.
by AndrewC1995 March 2, 2011
The mysterious, unstoppable fear (shitting of the pants) some Formspring users receive after looking through piles upon piles of hate questions and threats, causing bitching, arguments or more recently, clogging up the damn news feeds on Facebook attempting to somehow miraculously make the person cut their wrists.
Person 1: Aww noo look at all these haters....AHHHHHHH
Person 2: Ooooooh look here see, it says you're going to get stabbed...
Person 3: (in background) those bastards froze my Facebook!
Person 1: I'm so scared oh my God!
Person 2: Dude, I think you've got Formspringaphobia.
Person 2: Ooooooh look here see, it says you're going to get stabbed...
Person 3: (in background) those bastards froze my Facebook!
Person 1: I'm so scared oh my God!
Person 2: Dude, I think you've got Formspringaphobia.
by AndrewC1995 April 17, 2011