Albert Woods's definitions
The subtle female bouquet - reminiscent of fish - resulting from an excess of old vaginal mucus. Sometimes found on ladies bicycle saddles in hot weather Shufti.
'Well Rupert; from the delightful aroma from the kitchen, I thought we were having fish for supper.'
'No, Claude: it's pheasant old boy. What you can smell is Lady Constance's whang. Quite mackerelly today, don't ya think?'
'No, Claude: it's pheasant old boy. What you can smell is Lady Constance's whang. Quite mackerelly today, don't ya think?'
by Albert Woods September 22, 2007
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N: A shuftee - sexual deviant (of either sex) who gains gratification from sniffing recently-used ladies bicycle saddles in hot weather.
Vb: To shuftee - To place the flared nostrils on the horn of a freshly-used ladies bicycle saddle on a sweltering hot day, inhale deeply through the nose and collapse in a miasma of orgasmic delight.
N: A shuftee - sexual deviant (of either sex) who gains gratification from sniffing recently-used ladies bicycle saddles in hot weather.
Vb: To shuftee - To place the flared nostrils on the horn of a freshly-used ladies bicycle saddle on a sweltering hot day, inhale deeply through the nose and collapse in a miasma of orgasmic delight.
N:
'Just look at him coming all over her rear mudguard: the filthy shuftee'
Vb:
'How dare you shuftee my Raleigh Superior!'
'Is it yours, Miss Widdecombe? Oh God - I thought it belonged to Miss Lumley.'
'Just look at him coming all over her rear mudguard: the filthy shuftee'
Vb:
'How dare you shuftee my Raleigh Superior!'
'Is it yours, Miss Widdecombe? Oh God - I thought it belonged to Miss Lumley.'
by Albert Woods December 9, 2008
Get the Shuftee mug.Adjective with variable, or no, meaning; used to flummox one's superiors and betters who will not admit to their total ignorance of the word.
In Business:-
'What do you think of the latest sales figures, Braithwaite?
'Well sir, they could be better; but they're quite snepprotical aren't they.'
or Socially:-
'A round of golf tomorrow, Smithers?"
'I'm afraid not Lord Duff. My wife's holding a snepprotical coffee morning.'
'What do you think of the latest sales figures, Braithwaite?
'Well sir, they could be better; but they're quite snepprotical aren't they.'
or Socially:-
'A round of golf tomorrow, Smithers?"
'I'm afraid not Lord Duff. My wife's holding a snepprotical coffee morning.'
by Albert Woods January 2, 2009
Get the Snepprotical mug.'God Cynthia. What on earth did you eat last night? You've been bum-humming that Gershwin smedley for at least five minutes. I can't breathe.'
by Albert Woods September 27, 2007
Get the Smedley mug.1:
Another example of the Americans mangling the English language. Should be:- Diarrhoea.
2:
As stated above, liquid shits.
Another example of the Americans mangling the English language. Should be:- Diarrhoea.
2:
As stated above, liquid shits.
'Sorry Lord Puttnam, I can't make it to the Oscars. I've got diarreah.'
'No you haven't, my dear. You've got diarrhoea.'
'Oh... that's ok then. I'll be there at 7.'
'No you haven't, my dear. You've got diarrhoea.'
'Oh... that's ok then. I'll be there at 7.'
by Albert Woods December 15, 2008
Get the Diarreah mug.The plaintive cry of the Euro-Asian lesser-brained immigrant, welcomed into the country to fill the vital and skilled role of accosting the public by flogging copies of Big Issue.
by Albert Woods January 4, 2009
Get the Beaky Shoe mug.An insatiable cum-guzzling nympho who, not satisfied with a generous mouthful, dives under the blankets foraging for any stray jism blobs (sometimes next morning).
Peregrine: 'I'm worried about our sex life. Lady Isobel keeps disappearing under the bedclothes.'
Quentain: 'Don't be. She's probably a blanket crawler.'
Quentain: 'Don't be. She's probably a blanket crawler.'
by Albert Woods September 27, 2007
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