AYB's definitions

library

Used to be a place where you could spend a nice, quiet afternoon reading a book or studying or checking your email. Now it's a place where the government watches your every move with recently-installed hidden cameras.

If you miss the deadline for returning a book to your local library, expect a call from your local government agency.

by AYB July 19, 2003

coca cola

The name of a carbonated, caffeinated beverage known and consumed worldwide. The beverage was named for the fact that it once actually contained cocaine.

A nice, refreshing bottle of Coca Cola really hits the spot when you are thirsty.

by AYB March 9, 2003

serious emotional trauma

Watching Oprah Winfrey's "Beloved" movie.

I don't care whether Oprah's movie tried to portray slavery, the scenes of Oprah taking a leak, the dog's eyes being popped in, and an old man fucking a baby reincarnated as a teenage girl, are all more than enough to give a normal human being severe emotional trauma.

by AYB June 25, 2003

Operation Iraqi Liberation

A brilliant post-9/11 strategic maneuver created by George W. Bush to liberate the oil from the ground while shooting at innocent Iraqi civilians and replacing Saddam with yet another puppet dictator.

Thanks to Operation Iraqi liberation, millions of Americans can happily fill up their gas-guzzling SUVs.

Hooray for Bush!

by AYB July 19, 2003

tornado alley

A flat, prairie region of the central United States that is often prone to severe storms and seasonal floods.

You would think that people would be smart enough to listen to that old Indian guy's advice and NOT FUCKING BUILD ANYTHING PERMANENT THERE, but sadly, millions of ignorant folks keep building their mansions, and their towns, and their Double-Wide trailers, just to see them get smashed into matchwood each year by tornadoes and floods.

"My home got flattened six times this decade, but that won't stop me from living in Tornado Alley", said a local resident.

by AYB August 2, 2003

N-Gage

what the Hell were the folks at NOKIA smoking when they designed this ghastly device? You actually have to hold the phone with its width next to your ear in order to communicate, and they could have included better launch games which you can only play by first removing the battery and then adding or changing the cartridge. Not to mention the ridiculous price range. Definitely a concept designed for failure.

If NOKIA had designed the cartridge slot on the external part of N-Gage, and designed it more like a pocket calculator like many of NOKIA's cellphone product lines, and cut the price in half, the N-Gage might do a little bit better.

by AYB October 28, 2003

videogame

The target of every Soccer mom, politician, and feminist who (1) has never played a videogame in her life, (2) doesn't know how to discipline her kid, thanks to all the time she spent marrying and divorcing 4 or 5 times, and (3) is looking for an easy scapegoat for her incompetence.

Lieberman: Videogames like Street Fighter 2 Turbo and DOOM are responsible for all violent behavior in children.

by AYB September 10, 2003