Girl: I got my period today! I was so worried.
Girl friend: Happy Not a Mother's Day!

Sally sucked my wiener so i figured i would return the favor, but i stopped when i realized she had a salmon chamber

Skeeter- yo, wanna hit?
A- as if I would share a joint with a skeeter.

When he was elected to office, John promised to work for the people. Instead, he wound up imposing a barackracy in which nothing gets done.

Mary believes in government by the people, for the people, of the people, and not government by, for, and of the government. In other words, Mary opposes a barackracy.

"You don't believe in god and your negative?
You've gotta be assimistic, man."

"Hey dude, look at that assimist over there protesting divine right!"

Hey Billy, did you see LeChoke throw up some LeBrick in the final minutes and lost the game after trying to defend Kobe "G.O.A.T" Bryant??