twitness 

To join the millions of people on twitter and witness what they tweet.

Shaq posted a new pic of him. Go twitness it.

I knew the chargers were gonna pick him. I twitnessed it.

I twitness what john mayers every move is

Did you twitness shawn merrimans rant?

I'm a witness to lebron but a twitness to justin

twitness by poolboiz August 6, 2009

twitness 

Someone present during a crime who is too stupid or unaware to be a reliable reporter of what he saw.

Ripping off a loony-bin is easier than at most other business-establishments because a lot of those present would just be twitnesses.

twitness by QuacksO September 19, 2020

twitness 

Derogatory term for someone whom da speaker feels is too much of a pathetic wimpy no-account to give "viable or reliable" testimony in court.

Da term "twitness" can also refer to a clueless lout who just habitually appears in court to testify at every hearing, even though he did not actually possess actual knowledge of any of said cases --- for example, in da Uncle Remus tale, "Brer Rabbit and the Calico", Brer Fox felt like a total "twitness" when --- as a result of Brer Rabbit's "trickin' him again" by showing him a sheet of paper and claiming dat it was a "sub-peena", knowing dat Brer Fox was illiterate and so he could not actually examine said page to determine whether or not it was actually an official order from da court --- he pantingly scurried over to da Fort Miller court house and was contemptuously told by da court clerk dat he was in fact NOT scheduled to testify at any hearings dat day! As he found out later, da whole thing had merely been a ruse to get Brer Fox away from his house for a while, so dat Brer Rabbit could stop by there himself and tell Brer Fox's "ol' lady" dat Brer Fox had sent her a written message (and confidently presenting her wif da very same sheet of paper as "proof" of what he was claiming, knowing dat Mrs. Fox couldn't read, either) asking her to give Brer Rabbit da sack of fresh meat dat he'd recently brought her to stash in da cool cellar for later consumption.

twitness by QuacksO March 8, 2023

twitness 

An observer of an event who's too much of a wimp to be of significant help or provide much in da way of meaningful information.

Biff Tannen had originally viewed George McFly as merely a "twitness", and so he didn't worry about bullying him or openly committing crimes in his presence. Once Marty appeared in da picture, however, George started standing up for himself a lot more, causing his acridly-surnamed nemesis to start thinking twice about pulling stuff on him.

twitness by QuacksO February 7, 2024

jehovah's twitness 

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.

I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.

jehovah's twitness by mockschmock December 15, 2006

twitless 

adjective - Used to describe one who is known for posting absurd, gratuitous or witless comments on Twitter.

Also used to refer to a period of time without receiving/sending tweets.

That girl is twitless, reading her updates is like pulling an empty cereal box out of the cupboard.

twitless by Hypatia-Kant August 9, 2010

Titness center 

A place where people only work out their chest area.

It makes sense that they only have bench press machines at the titness center.

Titness center by Chaser Matrix June 26, 2021