turtlefuck

A fuck done in the style of a turtle. Meaning in a shell.
A turtlefuck is a little-known sex position that is slightly more complicated than most. It requires that both participants wear turtleshells large enough to place themselves in (this usually means a fake or synthetic turleshell). The actually sex must be done almost doggystyle but with the shells on, and VERY slowly. This cannot be stressed enough as any rapid movement in the turtlefuck will make it unsuccessful. And green paint may be needed in some very VERY special circumstances. Also, there must be a song about turtles, a cartoon featuring turtles, or a large poster with a turtle on it. Or, in ideal situations for a turtlefuck, there may be as many as 500 live turtles in the immediate vicinity of the turtlefuck(s).
A common misconception about the turtlefuck is that it does not alter the birth of children. A good example is how most people believe the Teenage Ninja Turtles to be the result of some crazy radioactive shit and turtles. The truth of the matter is that the Teenage Ninja Turtles are the result of a highly successfull turltefuck between Chuck Norris and Wonderwoman.
Turtlefuck is also sometimes a term used to a person. see the example 1.

1-Dude, you are a turtlefuck.
2-He/She is down for a good ol' turtlefuck.
3-Hey baby, i got the shells, time for a TURLTEFUCK!

turtlefuck by C. Bond June 9, 2007

Turtlefuck

A slow moving disaster

My son has a doubleheader tonight. It's going to be hot and muggy and the mosquitoes are gonna be everywhere. This is going to be a turtlefuck!

Turtlefuck by St Charles Whisker Biscuit September 14, 2015

Turtlefuck

This turtlefuck is taking all day.

Stop turtlefucking around

Turtlefuck by Admiral radman February 8, 2019

Turtleneck Butt 

Something you Googled after watching Big Mouth Season 4 Episode 3

Andrew: "According to WebMD I have turtleneck butt.

Turtleneck Butt by This is what you get December 17, 2020

turtleneck butt 

When you go a month without pooping, and the turd is so huge it stretches you hole so far that afterwards it hangs down loose like the collar of a turtleneck sweater.

I went to camp and couldn't poop for a month. When i finally did, it stretched my asshole out so badly now I've got turtleneck butt.

turtleneck butt by TenhoSede December 7, 2020

Turtleneck Sweater 

(n.) A strategically designed sweater that has a piece of fabric at the top which hugs fabric completely around the neck. Mostly worn more recently by snobby artists (usually accompanied by a beret also black) or mom's over 35. However, the sweater originated to solve an age old problem of hiding hickeys. The neck is one of the most common places for visible hickeys to appear after a passionate make out session. The next day when you have to have dinner with you parents (or maybe even grandparents!) the hickey will make them think you are some kind of sex fiend. A fashion designer had this problem and after realizing all of their scarves were dirty (don't ask, that is more sex fiend stuff) quickly sewed extra fabric on top of an old sweater to completely conceal around the neck and thus the hickeys. Now men and women can wear hickeys around their families and everyone will think they just have no fashion sense.

Girl: "Tomorrow I have to spend Christmas visiting relatives."

Guy: "So no Chistmas Eve necking then?"

Girl: "Oh we totally can neck all night, I have an ugly Turtleneck Sweater I can wear!"

Turtleneck Sweater by Kangarilla September 30, 2014

Swiss Turtleneck 

The act of a man's head being placed between two sets of large breasts so that the breasts form a "turtleneck" around the man's neck.

Brandon: "Dude, i got the two Emily's to give me a Swiss Turtleneck!"

Blake: "Nice!"

Swiss Turtleneck by Big Choctaw July 9, 2010