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crack turtle 

A crack turtle is someone whose mental capabilities have gone slow due to the excessive use of substances.
Jerry: "Oh man, I just needed two hours to take my morning dump and brush my teeth."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."
crack turtle by thepranxter March 21, 2018

crack turtle 

Someone who's extraordinarily slow, maybe due to an overconsumption of narcotics.
A: Man, I don't drink wine on Thursdays.
B: It's Friday, you crack turtle.
crack turtle by thepranxter July 31, 2018