tp-19 

"tp19" is used as a noun, a verb, an adjective and an adverb.

These words relate to the COVID-19 outbreak in early 2020. The noun form is a number, a factor, by which the amount of toilet paper used per bowel movement increases from approximately 19 sheets per flush to something like 19 rolls per flush. This number will eventually be established, like pi (3.14159) as not necessarily being 19, but something close, and will not be verified by mathematicians, epidemiologists and virologists, but by psychologists, sociologists, and historians. It stands to become a famous scientific constant in human evolution. As a verb, it is much simpler. It is a description of a variety of actions an individual will utilize in the attempt to acquire important items such as toilet paper and paper towels when facing unavoidable self-induced global scarcity. As an adjective, it is used to describe those people who may either be overreacting, or - using perspicacious judgment - reacting in an effective Darwinian fashion, in order to survive a pandemic. The validity of each use is at this time unclear. The adverb form, similar to the adjective, is descriptive of an action performed as a result of a perspective that is either utterly anxious or pointedly perspicacious.

As a noun - "Is this crisis truly tp-19 times as big as the crisis of a toilet paper roll turned the wrong way?"

As a verb- "If you knew that a hydrogen bomb was planted in your neighborhood and would be detonated in the next two hours, would you try to run or try to tp-19 the market on ray-bans that screen uv?" or "That girl, who just walked in, tp-19-ed my pulse rate. I'll pay for anything she wants."

As an adjective - "You are such a freakin' tp-19 freak! Why do you need to ratchet every single interaction with me up to DEFCON-4? All I can offer in response is a quiet fyc."

As an adverb - "Friedrich, you just walked across the street so tp-19-edly, like it was a rope over an abyss, as if all of human existence depended on your success."

tp-19 by nothinc March 19, 2020