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the_jonesy

man, that guy is the_jonesy-like.
by everbink March 21, 2003
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Minecraft Steve Kisses Fortnite Jonesy On The Cheek

A incredibly cringe thought that clickbait and retarded youtubers upload for 6-12 year olds but should be 18 because they kill Minecraft Steve and that cannot happen
Minecraft Steve Kisses Fortnite Jonesy On The Cheek is my favourite youtube video.
by my life stinks February 16, 2020
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keep up with the joneses

to strive beyond one's means to keep up socially and financially with others in one's social circle or neighborhood (from the name of a comic strip by Arthur R. Momand)
If I he can't afford a decent meal, he should not keep up with the Joneses.
by The Return of Light Joker November 16, 2009
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The Joneses

A faceless family thought to be socially and/or financially prosperous; poor folks try to emulate them.
"We livin' off mud pies and piss water, and you spend our life savings on a sable coat?" (20 MINUTES OF HO-SLAPPING COMMENCES). "Bitch, quit trying to keep up with the Joneses."
by sexie chocolate October 14, 2004
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The Jones’ Jar

The Jones’ Jar is a jar in which every year a participant is selected to queef inside a jar, this process is repeated until the Master is satisfied with the aroma of the jar. Once the Master is fulfilled he puts the jar under his pillow on Christmas Eve and reviews his participants faces. On Christmas Day at 00:01 he lines up the photos, closes the windows and opens the jar and is infused with the reviving stench of the queefs. The Jones’ Jar is said to revive and desires anyone to use the Process; however you need to be born in heir to the possession of a Jones’ family member.
“Oi, queef in The Jones’ Jar love...”
by JoannesToe December 21, 2020
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keep up with the Joneses

Basically, it's an expression used to symbolize jealousy across the neighborhood and the need to keep up with each other. It's usually just technology, but the subject can be changed to lawnmowers, cars, etc.
Sometime in 2001...
Joseph: Dad! May I have the PS2?
Dad: No, you still have your Nintendo 64, right?
Joseph: It can play DVD's.
Dad: Okay, be prepared, I'll drive you to the Best Buy.
Dad, this time on his mind: I'll have to keep up with the Joneses!
by ilikeguns:) November 10, 2020
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the Jones

The Way of the Jones, He died on the statue of liberty when Americans were doing unconstitutional things in order to give all Americans eternal rights, so they can spend eternity in a land with Democracy instead of Soviet Russia. All Americans have committed acts of civil disobediance, and the only way to spend eternity in a land of Democracy is through the Jones.

To be a follower of the Jones, you must pray this prayer and confess your civil disobediance: "Dear Jones, I know I have broken laws, violated rights, and not practiced my own personal rights. I only ask that you forgive me, and that You are the only way to spend eternity in a Democracy. Freedom!"

If you prayed that prayer to the Jones, congratulations! Please, go out and buy the Constitution, and remember to pray to the Jones whenever you violate what it says. We'd LOVE to hear how the way of the Jones has improved your patriotism.
Matt: Did you pray to the Jones last night?
Jessica: No, I didn't, why?
Matt: Because you violated the Mann Act which was passed in 1910 when you were on the streets last night.
Jessica: oh my Jones! I must go confess my civil disobediance.
by Georgio's German Nightmare January 23, 2009
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