the masturbation defense

The universal alibi used by criminal defense attorneys and criminals. The accused will use the "I was at home masturbating" defense to avoid conviction. Defense will provide dna evidence and semen samples to the prosicution resulting in an acquittal, mostly.

detective: Sir, we know you did it we know you lured those minors. you also have alot of teenage boys and girls on your facebook page. We have witnesses and physical evidence linking you to these crimes.

handjob Bob: I was at home masturbating, mostly. You want proof?

detective: "The masturbation defense" huh? you have surviellance video of you masturbating?

handjob Bob: Better, I have DNA evidence and witnesses who can back that up.

the masturbation defense by TheFirst48 January 22, 2010

Shackteâu

A Shackteau is a humble, weather-beaten, structurally questionable shelter located in a spectacular or highly coveted place—Wales, Jackson Hole, Sun Valley, Crested Butte, coastal Maine, the Alps—where the building itself may be worth almost nothing, but the dirt, view, access, and mythology make it absurdly valuable.
In use:

Shackteâu - We thought it was an abandoned shed until the realtor called it a rare alpine Shackteâu with unobstructed views and listed it for $2 million.

Shackteâu by ez-dog June 4, 2026

Word of the Day on June 5, 2026

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Sonion

Sonion comes from a GIF that is a mix of the word son and onion ( if you use this slang you like dih)

Man 1 says "I drank last night I need a break" Man 2 "Sonion"

Sonion by popularloner67 March 11, 2026

Word of the Day on June 4, 2026

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breatharian

One whos diet consists of air, light, and prana, with a possible sip of water now and then.

The breatharian has air, light, and prana for food.

breatharian by leena gabor November 8, 2005

Word of the Day on June 3, 2026

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A Booger In The Nose Of Progress

Anything that impedes or otherwise interferes with a process going forward.

"Militarily, that inquest was a booger in the nose of progress."

or

"As far as human rights are concerned, this political infighting is a booger in the nose of progress."

A Booger In The Nose Of Progress by Rok'n'rol Wannabe October 19, 2006

Word of the Day on June 2, 2026

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🤡🫵🏻

How to say "you're an idiot/clown" using only emojis.

Person 1: Insert completely incorrect and/or idiotic statement here
Person 2: 🤡🫵🏻

🤡🫵🏻 by Ubeenbamboozledson May 31, 2026

Word of the Day on June 1, 2026

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fogey

Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!

You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)

fogey by Petyush September 14, 2005

Word of the Day on May 31, 2026

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