the masturbation defense

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The universal alibi used by criminal defense attorneys and criminals. The accused will use the "I was at home masturbating" defense to avoid conviction. Defense will provide dna evidence and semen samples to the prosicution resulting in an acquittal, mostly.

detective: Sir, we know you did it we know you lured those minors. you also have alot of teenage boys and girls on your facebook page. We have witnesses and physical evidence linking you to these crimes.

handjob Bob: I was at home masturbating, mostly. You want proof?

detective: "The masturbation defense" huh? you have surviellance video of you masturbating?

handjob Bob: Better, I have DNA evidence and witnesses who can back that up.

the masturbation defense by TheFirst48 January 22, 2010

leafers

NYC people who migrate north to Quahog, RI to see the leaves in the fall.

New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick.

leafers by ss++ February 8, 2005

Word of the Day on September 27, 2026

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Respectfully

Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.

Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.

After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.

Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020

Word of the Day on September 26, 2026

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You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

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crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

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Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

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murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

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