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starmer

Starmer (noun) A form of speech impediment akin to a Stammer, a Starmer however results in pauses between words which last many week's or even months.

Starmer (verb) Speak with lengthy pauses between words so as to avoid political options until after results or consequences can be observed.

See also - Hindsight, Pusillanimous and Starmerring.
Kier's starmer prevented him from contemporaneously commenting on Boris's Covid 19 economic recovery plans.
by The Pink Unicorn February 21, 2021
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Starmer

A Starmer is like a disappointing end to a romantic evening. It all starts well, then when it’s time to get down to business, things start to flop. Badly.
I was expecting a night of unbridled passion, but it turned into a Starmer.
by Y Gwir May 9, 2021
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Starmer

You sir are a complete Starmer
by Hjaltlander March 18, 2026
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STARMER

A person harming their own country's interests. A disloyal person. A person who is detested by their country.
He was a right Starmer- nobody trusted him.
by Tell it right. September 1, 2025
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Starmer

1) A person so irritating that even pigeons would rather cross the street than share a bench with them.

2) A human embodiment of buffering - loud, unnecessary, and always getting in the way.

3) (literal) A person who enjoys private handshakes with themselves. (You know what I mean...)
"That man watches too many adult movies.... what a Starmer!"
by NatwestBanker1801 September 29, 2025
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Starmer Word Salad

The speaking art of talking without actually saying anything at all, to contradict yourself by saying one thing today, then flipping your position tomorrow and the day after, then again the day after that.

The ability to use words like "Laser focused", "Mission driven", "net Zero" or wishy washy non specific rubbery phrases like "We would negotiate" without actually saying what his limits are.

Or the endless flip-flop slogans

Another Future Is Possible
Under New Management
Secure, Protect, Rebuild,
A New Chapter for Britain
Stronger Together
Work, Care, Equality, Security
Security, Prosperity, Respect

On Your Side
Fairer, greener future
Build a better Britain

The art of creating a speech which is essentially word fog, that evaporates on the ether before it hits the ears, the ability to take an enthusiastic audience and have them phoning the Samaritans within 5 minutes of opening you mouth.
Sir Kid Starver was cheered onto the stage, a veritable plethora of meaningless verbiage ensued as the crowd first looked perplexed, started consulting a political thesaurus, moved to checking their fingernails, then looked nervously round the room to equally perplexed faces.

A hubub ran round the room, as correspondent after correspondent as phone came out, phoning the Samaritans for help as they gradually became ever more depressed, disillusioned, and desperate for help.

Back to the political news studio, a long broom hoves into view to poke a sleeping presenter who suddenly wakes up with a shock, "Err Peter, what's your take on Sir Kid Starver's speech?"

"Well Julia it was a classic Starmer word salad of non specific rubbery phrases from the Cuprinol man, a study in Mahogany by the country's greatest dullard"
by The Xmas Grinch August 6, 2023
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Keir Starmer

(adj.) A person who is incredibly bland, but otherwise fairly decent.
"My mum just moved in with her first boyfriend since the divorce. He's a real Keir Starmer."
by cobble giblets October 16, 2023
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