split infinity

The naked female partner assumes a resting horizontal position on a bed or similar comfortable surface (NB not a beach). She may be face down or face up. On the request of her male partner, she opens her legs to the fullest extent possible, exposing her intimate areas, folds and orifices to his gaze, inspection and physical touch. With commitment and the assistance of a physiotherapist it may be possible to gradually extend the legs to a maximum degree, but care should be taken not to damage the hips or femur.

“So why did you give me 6 sessions with a physiotherapist, a torch, and a magnifying glass for my birthday Frank?”

“I wanted to loosen your hips up so that you can increase your split infinity and I can get a better view babe! Hand me the magnifier and the torch before we reach the sun deck.”

split infinity by Fiona BR December 23, 2022

split infinitive 

A split infinitive is an infitive with another word, usually an adverb, inserted. Thus 'to boldy go' is a split infinitive from the verb 'to go'.

There is a myth circulating among uninformed English teachers that the split infinitive is somehow incorrect, yet if you ask them they cannot come up with a reason besides "it's wrong". The truth of the matter is that infinitives have been split for nearly seven hundred years, and condemnation of this construction arose in the 1800s by applying Latin to English grammar -- a practice which in the age of modern linguistics is laughable. Language does not conform to arbitrary rules, much less rules from another language.

The next time your English teacher tells you the split infinitive is wrong, ask them why. I promise you will find the non-response hilarious.

split infinitive by Aristophanes September 19, 2005