The act of masturbating and letting the semen dry. When the semen is dry it is then peeled off like a molting snake.
Vlad's cum dribbled out of his penis, but planned to used it as lube for his back to back jerking sessions. However he became distracted by FFXIV and it dried. He then peeled the dried snakemolt off of his cock.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.