shore duty problems 

The US Navy's version of white girl problems. A shore duty problem is only a problem because you work in an office building at a slack-ass fleet support job, and life is good. Shore duty problems are commonly experienced by sailors who have not been assigned to a ship in a long time, and consequently have their threshold for flipping their shit grossly miscalibrated. Those who have spent some time on sea duty know what actual problems are, and are much less likely to go ape-shit over such trivial annoyances.

Shore duty problems may include:

-"Powerpoint froze before I saved my work and now I have to reopen it and spend 10 minutes entering this data all over again! AAAAAAAGH! I'm going to bludgeon everyone in this fucking office to death with my three-hole punch!"
-"We're not allowed to watch YouTube videos at work anymore?! GRRRAAAAGH! This is worse than being raped in the mouth! I'm going to break my keyboard in half and then strangle your children with my mouse cord!"

In comparison to common sea duty problems, which are actually worth freaking out over:
-"Toxic hydrogen sulfide gas is leaking into my berthing."
-"The sewage system is broken and I am covered in liquified human excrement while trying to fix it."
-"I am literally on fire/being electrocuted/getting shot at by Somali pirates right now."

shore duty problems by onshoreduty November 1, 2011