The Most Vicious Man In
History.
Physically identified by his inhumanly huge forearms (and possibly, calf muscles), squinty eye,
pipe-smoking habit, and incessant mumbling and mispronunciation of words, this cartoon/comic strip sailor from many years ago is typically found fighting anyone from his rival "Bluto", to Sinbad the sailor himself, for the affection of the possibly anorexic and incredibly small-breasted "
Olive Oyl".
Best known for his fondness of a certain green
leafy vegetable, Popeye (already a fairly rough and tough individual) has been known to increase in strength, agility, speed, and nearly every other positive physical attribute as a result of his eating of Spinach. Also, inexplicably, upon the consumption of said Spinach, songs such as "Three Cheers for the Red, White, and
Blue" and certain other notable pieces of classic patriotic
music tend to play out of nowhere, along with a small portrait of a turbine engine, piston, or cannon firing being strangely superimposed over Popeye's bicep.
Should you ever be in a situation where you have offended/attacked/are caught in a barfight with Popeye, and must defend yourself, restrict his spinach consumption at all costs. If this is impossible, your only option is to
run. For the love of God, just turn and
run, because as
soon as you hear that
music start playing, it's too
late. What is that? What is that song!? Oh God, he's heard me! Oh my God, not that, no Popeye, noooaaaaaaieeeee-
I 'yam what I 'yam, and that's all that I 'yam! -Popeye
