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mummy muff 

a vagina that has not seen action for epochs and thus is crusty, cobwebby, sandy, and extremely dangerous to those fool enough to undertake an excavation. also, possibly cursed.

*can also be used in a regular pejorative manner, in addition to being merely a descriptive noun
Todd: "That Barbara Bush probably has a vicious mummy muff."
Jim: "Yeah."

Mic: "OMG, guys. Teddy left at least five shelves of hair product in the bathroom. What a mummy muff!"
Maura: "Yeah, totally."
mummy muff by E. B. MacNaughton December 10, 2007
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mummy muff 

a vagina that has not seen action for epochs and thus is crusty, cobwebby, sandy, and extremely dangerous to those fool enough to undertake an excavation. also, possibly cursed.

*can also be used in a regular pejorative manner, in addition to being merely a descriptive noun
Todd: "That Barbara Bush probably has a vicious mummy muff."
Jim: "Yeah."

Mic: "OMG, guys. Teddy left at least five shelves of hair product in the bathroom. What a mummy muff!"
Maura: "Yeah, totally."
mummy muff by E. B. MacNaughton January 5, 2009

Muff cabbage Mommy 

A women who does not know how to properly order a screen protector and makes her child do it for her. once realizing the name on the package the screen protector comes in says muffcabage mommy, her child loses all internet privileges for good.
The Muff cabbage Mommy was upset when she realized her muff was very cabbage like.
Muff cabbage Mommy by silent bob! October 25, 2018