monkeyist

discrimination towards monkeys for being monkeys

person 1: monkeys are ugly
person 2: stop being a monkeyist

by monkeys r chad May 21, 2022

monkeybate

The act of vigorously masturbating penis, aided by either poppers, weed, or both and often at the expense of personal relationships and productivity. So named because the masturbator engaging in the monkeybate is often so overwhelmed with pleasure that they screw up their faces in a way that mimics a baboon, gorilla, or monkey.

"Bro, Chad is so fucking gooned out on his monkeybate."

by Ultbator August 19, 2019

Turf Monkeys

noun. the little black things that get in your shoes after marching on a turf football field.

Tom: "Good marching show man!"
Andy: "Dude! My feet have been attacked by Turf Monkeys man!"
Tom: "They are everywhere!"

by Curlyfries482 September 8, 2010

counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees

Assuming you will have something before you actually have it; similar to "counting your chickens before they hatch" (which is commonly attributed to Aesop).

"The Mariners could do better than expected this year."

"Let's not kid ourselves. Check your premises before you make a prediction."

"I'm assuming a number of things go right. Maybe I'm just counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees."

by Rusanova March 7, 2012

Arctic Monkeys

The best band in the world and is better than kpop

yo imma Google what band makes the best songs

Google: Arctic monkeys

by Hunitsme July 31, 2021

Monkeyfisting

The act of shitting in one's hand and making a fist. Then proceeding to shove one's fist in their partner's rectum

Chad and I enjoy a good monkeyfisting every night.

by Zomboy595 December 23, 2016

Don't give a monkeys

I don't care about it.

'Hey, how did he get that sandwich?'
'I don't give a monkeys how he got it. I'm off to the pub.'

by Brutus73 December 23, 2011