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monkeybate 

The act of vigorously masturbating penis, aided by either poppers, weed, or both and often at the expense of personal relationships and productivity. So named because the masturbator engaging in the monkeybate is often so overwhelmed with pleasure that they screw up their faces in a way that mimics a baboon, gorilla, or monkey.
"Bro, Chad is so fucking gooned out on his monkeybate."
monkeybate by Ultbator August 19, 2019

Turf Monkeys

noun. the little black things that get in your shoes after marching on a turf football field.
Tom: "Good marching show man!"
Andy: "Dude! My feet have been attacked by Turf Monkeys man!"
Tom: "They are everywhere!"
Turf Monkeys by Curlyfries482 September 8, 2010

counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees 

Assuming you will have something before you actually have it; similar to "counting your chickens before they hatch" (which is commonly attributed to Aesop).
"The Mariners could do better than expected this year."

"Let's not kid ourselves. Check your premises before you make a prediction."

"I'm assuming a number of things go right. Maybe I'm just counting my monkeys before they're out of the trees."

Arctic Monkeys

The best band in the world and is better than kpop
yo imma Google what band makes the best songs

Google: Arctic monkeys
Arctic Monkeys by Hunitsme July 31, 2021

Monkeyfisting 

The act of shitting in one's hand and making a fist. Then proceeding to shove one's fist in their partner's rectum
Chad and I enjoy a good monkeyfisting every night.
Monkeyfisting by Zomboy595 December 23, 2016

Don't give a monkeys 

'Hey, how did he get that sandwich?'
'I don't give a monkeys how he got it. I'm off to the pub.'
Don't give a monkeys by Brutus73 December 23, 2011
More from Urban Dictionary

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
Short-hand for the word floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language).
After we broke up, he was floxi to me.
floxi by Dr. Geek May 13, 2009
Word of the Day on September 28, 2026
NYC people who migrate north to Quahog, RI to see the leaves in the fall.
New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick.
leafers by ss++ February 8, 2005
Word of the Day on September 27, 2026

Respectfully 

Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.

After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007
Word of the Day on September 24, 2026
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