Guy 1: Damn bro did you get that good sex with da bae last night?
Guy 2: Nah she wasn't in the mood, so I just masturbaed instead.
Guy 2: Nah she wasn't in the mood, so I just masturbaed instead.
by Raper4G July 8, 2014
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by Dr. Dob Doblinson March 17, 2015
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Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.
This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!
On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.
On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.
Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!
Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!
But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!
Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!
On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.
On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.
Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!
Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!
But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!
Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.
Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!
Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!
Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023
Get the masturbate and switch mug.A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.
i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.
Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.
Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?
by runninghighkid August 4, 2018
Get the masturbating to the dictionary mug.'So I was having a masturbaywatch to Pamela Anderson last night when, on the vinegar strokes, the camera panned to David Hasselhoff. As I understand, this now means that I must be a raging homosexual. Do you know where I can catch a matinee of 'Mamma Mia' and follow it up with some good old-fashioned sodomy so as to assimilate effectively with my newfound kin?'
by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
Get the Masturbaywatch mug.The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.
'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'
by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
Get the Masturbaker's dozen mug."After my wife goes to sleep and I kick all of my guy friends out of my downstairs mancave, I get out my pornos and turn it into my very own private masturbasement."
by Eric Rohmer October 10, 2014
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