Top definition
Indigneous people of New Zealand, originating in South Pacific. Signatories to the Treaty of Waitangi, 1840. One of the national languages of NZ (The others being English and Sign).
Even the NZ Maori Rugby team can usually beat Wales
by sloanie July 06, 2006
Get the mug
Get a maori mug for your dog Larisa.
Self proclaimed land owners of New Zealand. In 1840 British settlers realised the lack of intelligence of the natives that they had recently encountered and decided to form the treaty of waitangi. In this treaty the maori signed away all their land in exchange for a few guns and bracelets. Sometime around 1900 the maori brain evolved to the point of having 2 brain cells, and they realised what a terrible mistake they had made. Ever since then the maori have been trying to seek revenge on the white man by selling him crappy tinny's, taking his shoes, and generally stealing everything that isn't nailed down. This type of behaviour is hardly suprising coming from a culture that actually beleives New Zealand was caught like a fish and pulled to the surface by one maori in a canoe. To this day, maoris still exist in new zealand inhabiting such areas as otara, mangere, and a million other shitty places you'd never have to go to if marijuana was legal.
"Duh thats rite bro you get 0.3 grams of weed for your $20, now you know how it feels"

"hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo"

"aw bro my cru of maori's is the baddest bro we can't even afford a spray can to tell people who we are"
by newzealandisdieing January 10, 2006
Get the mug
Get a maori mug for your brother James.
A race of people whom the New Zealand government seems to favour over the people of European decent in New Zealand. Maori receive such bonuses as:
- cheaper university fees
- extra money on government benefits (as if to encourage them)
- their own political party that only persons with maori decent can be in. (they can also be in the other parties if they wish)
Maori seem to have no morals whatsoever. Their favourite pastimes include drugs, alcohol and smoking behind the P.E shed. Some maoris prefer to beat up and steal from the elderly. No maori wears his own shoes.
The New Zealand Government seems to think they should encourage the maori race, but these days most criminals in NZ are of maori decent, so really they are encouraging them to be criminals, and therefore insuring the future of New Zealand to become one huge Otara.
"bro, hook a brother up aye? I'll smash ur white ass, you betta watch ur bak aye I'll get my black maori homies onto you"
by outlookonlife July 21, 2006
Get the mug
Get a Maori mug for your guy Georges.
A degenerative Race that arrived In New Zealand in the 1800's, established their ways in Grass huts and hunted their prey with the "Taiha," and were content with their under developed ways until the British arrived and formed a Government, transforming the country into a demographic, sophisticated place that once lacked intelligence. The signing of a Treaty instantly foreshadowed the misery of the decades to follow. A mistake that all Europeans have to accept and live with; A very angry race that steals, resorts to violence, lacks courage to an extreme extent (They carry out violence in packs), claims "Aotearoa" belongs to them and have broken down their cultural identity to socio-economic sponges that have become a burden to the advancement of the white race that saved their asses in the first place.
1) "Should we approve his welfare check?"
"Yes, he's a Maori"

2) "Should we accept the Maori into Boy's High?"
"No. He can attend Hato Paora, an all Maori boys school instead"

3) "Who the f**k Stole My Bike?!"
"Te Rangi Tehuataka Hata"
"Oh ofcourse.. No surprises there"
by Matty Treble March 04, 2012
Get the mug
Get a Maori mug for your buddy Bob.
A cannibal race who migrated to New Zealand and consumed the indigenous people already settled there. Their tribes are known as iwi and sub-tribes as hapu.
Their tribes were constantly attacking each other and devouring their enemies after boiling them in cooking holes or slow-cooking them in oven pits known as hangi.
It was common for them to shrink the heads of those they captured and in the late 19th century and early 20th century they built up a vigorous trade in selling them off to the highest bidders throughout the trading world of the time. Now they are demanding that they be returned from around the world and a number of museums have obliged. They have suddenly become taonga!
In 1840, tribal chiefs signed a treaty known as The Treaty Of Waitangi which was between the Crown and Maori and to this day it is a bone of contention throughout New Zealand society.
Maori are known to propagate the misbelief that they are the “owners” of New Zealand and despite 52% of the prison population being Maori and their race being only 14% of the country’s population they deny that they have a cultural problem in regard to crime.
Even though many iwi having been given millions of dollars in 'reparation' money, they generally have an agenda of apartheid, and although they take their ‘grievance money’ readily, they are less than willing to integrate into the ‘one people society’ of the New Zealand population, and by their actions, much racial disharmony is fostered. These many millions of reparation dollars have not been effectively administered by the iwi chiefs for the general wellbeing of the Maori people.
Successive governments have been ineffective and largely incompetent in resolving these issues.
The beautiful woven flax tapestry was made by a young maori wahine.
by RaceyNZ May 16, 2014
Get the mug
Get a Maori mug for your sister-in-law Nathalie.
A variation of 'Nigga' often found under bushes or sifting through rubbish bins in south-west areas of large New Zealand cities. As a people they make up an 'Iwi' but small groups are often are refered to as 'Whanau' or cuzzies. Traditional maori hobbies are creating 'Hangis' (placing food under the ground then cooking it with fronds of native vegetation and heated rocks), lining up outside KFC in bare feet waiting for their big bucket to arrive, consuming synthetic highs and a lifelong goal of not dying of natural causes. If you sight an iwi member then hand over your shoes before they mug you for them.
"Oh bro come get a budget cola with me!" "na, I'm off to the Warehouse to steal a shirt gee!" "Oh cherrrr I'll come with" "Maori"
by funforthewholewhanau November 26, 2013
Get the mug
Get a Maori mug for your Facebook friend Georges.
Early settlers of New Zealand, often wrongly described as 'native' or 'indigenous'. There are no people native or indigenous to the New Zealand islands. Everyone arrived by boat in one form or another, very recently in human and geological terms, and Maori were by no means the first.

The word "Maori" was coined by Maori themselves to differentiate them from the white people (or 'Pakeha') who arrived after them from Britain, Australia, America, and Europe. The word has been defined as meaning "ordinary" or "normal" people. It did not exist in pre-European New Zealand, where the various tribes knew themselves and one another by individual family and tribal names.

Maori are generally accepted to have been in residence in New Zealand since around 1200 - 1300 AD.

Maori are said to be a Polynesian race, although parts of their geneology have been traced to Taiwan and China, and there are other influences from as far away as Egypt and Sri Lanka. Some East Coast tribes from the North Island possess Portugese genetic markers.

Much of the truth of the origins of Maori is muddied by the editing of history to suit contemporary politics, and by the intermingling of Maori bloodlines with those of the peoples they found already living in New Zealand upon their own arrival.
First British Naval Officer: "We have made a Treaty with the Maori, Sir. All New Zealand land now belongs to us."

Second British Naval Officer: "Excellent. Release the Hounds."

First etc.: "Aye aye, Sir. More rum, Sir?"

Second etc.: "Abso-bloody-lutely. And bring me a Maori wench. I'm tired of all this Naval arse-buggery, never mind how traditional it is. It smacks of homosexuality, if you ask me."

First: "Very good Sir."
by Flash the Squirrel August 20, 2010
Get the mug
Get a Maori mug for your mama Beatrix.