macaroni monster

Descriptive term for any fat bastard who puts on a football uniform and calls himself an athlete. Most often, it's a linebacker who weighs over 300 pounds and has tree trunks for legs, an ass so large it deserves its own zip code, and a gut that hangs down so far that he can't see his junk. Without the uniform, he'd look like a beer-guzzling hot-dog noshing lardass fan. But, put a number on his back, some padding, and helmet and he gets paid millions of dollars to stand in middle of a football field and push other macaroni monsters.

Examples: William "The Refrigerator" Perry, Aaron Gibson, Terrance "Pot Roast" Knighton

"Dude! Didja see that. Holy crap! That macaroni monster just sacked the quarterback."
"Yeah man. He's such a macaroni monster he needs three other dudes to help him up."

by _DrBigEars_ March 24, 2016

Macaroni Monstrocity

A person who makes macaroni and cheese, and then proceeds to eat everything in the immediate vicinity while waiting for the water to boil. The person usually feels resentment afterwards when they realize exactly how much they've eaten.

I realized I myself, had become a Macaroni Monstrocity after devouring a box of Cheez-Its, some grapes, a box of thin mints, and a half-gallon of milk while waiting for the water to boil on my Kraft Mac and Cheese.

by Cassatah June 29, 2014