THE MOST IMPORTANT LIFE RULES.
If you follow them, you
will find true enlightenment.
Rule One:
Be friends with
people who can get you free food.
Rule Two:
Don't get caught doing anything stupid.
Rule Three:
If/when you do get caught, don't do anything stupid to make it worse.
Rule Four:
Always play good
music.
Rule Five:
Eat
Cookies.
Rule Six:
When you aren't friends with
people who can get you free food, find a way to steal food that is both quick and effective.
Rule Seven:
Learn how to play the guitar. It is both cliche and attracts members of the opposite sex.
Rule Eight:
Tell someone you love them.
Rule Nine:
Learn a form of martial arts. To kick peoples' asses as well as attract the opposite sex.
Rule Ten:
Always find comfort in Ben and Jerry.
Rule Eleven:
Take over-priced and crappy photos in a photo both with more than two
people (cramped spaces make for better and more memorable pictures).
Rule Twelve:
Learn a foreign language and confuse
people.
Rule Thirteen:
Talk to strangers: www.omegle.com
Rule Fourteen:
Eat a series of foods all with the word 'pop' in them (popcorn, poptarts, pop...and that's pretty much it)
Rule Fifteen:
Do flips on a trampoline.
Rule Sixteen:
Bathe in your own awesomeness.
Rule Seventeen:
Set someone you don't
like on fire.
Rule Eighteen:
Jump out of a window.
Rule Nineteen:
Buy a
dog and name it Susan. Raise it to be your best friend, always be there for it, and it
will always be there for you. Love Susan and she
will always return love in forms of
wet sloppy kisses and tail wagging. One day, you'll accidentally
hit her with your car and go through a horrible cycle of drinking and guilt. Eventually you'll get over it and
will buy goldfish for the rest of your life.
(This rule is not necessary)
Rule Twenty:
Do whatever the hell you want. Who cares?
(this is considered to be the most important LifeRule)
