Newton's Flaming Limp Laser Sword 

A philosophical postulate that states, "That which cannot be proven or disproven should probably not be argued about, but let's do it anyway to get some needed blood pumping."

Jenny: So if you could travel back in time, would you kill your grandfather?
Keenan: I invoke Newton's Flaming Limp Laser Sword!
Jenny: So? I totally would.
Keenan: Hell no!

Newton's Flaming Limp Laser Sword by aotako June 8, 2011

Occam's laser 

The most awesome explanation is usually the correct one.

Teacher: Class, what is the most common isotope in the atmosphere?

Student: Well actually Miss, Occam's Laser proves that there are billions of subatomic elves that make everything work, so all chemistry is wrong and your question is invalid.

Occam's laser by HoboBullFrog May 4, 2011

Billy’s anti-yma extra ultra magnum quantum laser death ray pulveriser of awsomeness 

The greatest and most powerful weapon in the multiverse, capable of wiping out an quintillions of ymas in seconds

Hey Brendan did you hear that billy, yeah that really cool one in year 9. So apparently he absolutely annihilated that yma girl with his patented Billy’s anti-yma extra ultra magnum quantum laser death ray pulveriser of awsomeness

Billy’s anti-yma extra ultra magnum quantum laser death ray pulveriser of awsomeness by Shisosbegudhdhddh July 12, 2023

Fookin Laser Sights 

A meme made in Thatcher's operator video, has become a meme for people who use or get killed by a laser sight attachment.

Lit Kid: "That kid is using laser sights!"
Not Lit Kid: "Fookin laser sights!!!"

Fookin Laser Sights by tobster1155 February 27, 2018

Laser shark 

A deadly piece of technology developed by Russia, subsequently stolen and reproduced without license for use by the Chinese People's Liberation Army Navy (PLAN). These genetically and structurally engineered creatures are ill tempered with razor-sharp teeth and head-mounted laser cannons.

In the news today, U.S. intelligence officials have confirmed that the North Korean Navy now has operational laser sharks.

Laser shark by tonbird February 2, 2010

loser's lunch 

Bologna on hand. A piece of lunch meat eaten by itself because you are a poor loser and have no bread.

Originated by Metallica in the early 80's, when they lived in their practice space, before they had any money.

No bread, just balogna. Looks like loser's lunch again.

loser's lunch by Withstand December 13, 2005

loser's bracket 

1. the sub-grouping within a competitive tournament whereby those who suffer their first loss are demoted to a pool of similar types who have suffered a like fate; one more defeat in this category renders the unfortunate complete elimination from the field.
2. a common perception that certain individuals are moving through their respective lives already having suffered some type of major defeat (or many smaller ones), thereby rendering them to a decidedly less than ideal existence.

Look at Joe : he attended all the wrong schools thereby acquiring all the wrong type of friends; this precipitated choosing the wrong type of occupation and marrying the wrong type of girl. Now he's in the wrong type of neighborhood with the wrong type of kids. Joe could be said to be existing in the loser's bracket of life.

loser's bracket by Virgin Suicides October 17, 2017