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jelq

An exercise to increase penis size naturally. First a warm rag is use to stimulate blood flow and put the wang into a semi-erect state. Then lubrication is used on the hands and the mumbo jumbo in question. Use a thumb and index finger positioned in an "OK" grip on the base of the schlong. Slide your hand up to the head then take your other hand and grip the base. Release the grip of your first hand and return it to the base to repeat the motion while the second hand is sliding to the head of the penis.

The goal here is to force more blood flow within the cellular walls of the one eyed weasel. The result out of consistent exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, 3 to 5 days a week is a gain in 2+ inches in length and girth from 6 months to over a year. Mostly fails to work due to a lack in effort.
I got carpal tunnel from jelqing and had to go to the hospital. There's a catheter in poofy penis and now the guy who brings me the jell-o is winking at me.
by rkilgore35 April 15, 2005
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To yank your penis until it gets longer
Bitch said my cock was small, so I began to jelq mofucka.
by FelchMonger January 4, 2003
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an activity used by guys who want to make their dings into DONGS,by constantly streatching the member in question for a whole year , so they can regain the confidence that his wife or girlfriend have stripped from them, when the guy finally discovered that the "brother" was not really her brother.
Tim: I am starting these "jelq" excercises to make my penis bigger.

Bob: oh! so I guess you finally found out that your wife really does not have a brother, and that guy that hangs around her is her hung lover.

Tim: what the....?
by mansil26 August 30, 2006
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Jelq

When a chill ass nigga is just hanging around and doing some shid
Look at that bird over there. Nigga out here jelqin'
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To aggressivley swing one's penis left and right in a rather abrupt manner with the intention of eventually making a man's Member a bit longer
Man A: DUDE!! your cock is huge! How do you do it man?

Man B: Easy, all I do is jelq after i get out of the shower
by Nick A. January 3, 2005
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Jelq

by Lobbin goblin March 10, 2022
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Jelq

Jelq (pronounced Jehlke) is a dance move comprised of spinal movements and movements of the bone in a rhythmitic fashion. It is commonly used by skeletons to mate. It can also be used as a noun, having a similar term to "owned" or "rekt", which are 2 internet terms meaning "you got memed on, nigga" jelq's plurals are as follows: jelq (singular) jelq't (past) jelqing (in action) jelqs (plural/in action)
Noun - "Hey dude, did you hear how Joseph got jelq't in that game of smash Bros we were playing last night?"

Verb - "Maybe if I jelq at her, she'll come over and I can get her number"
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